08 January 2005

An Open Letter to Illiterates

Okay, so semi-literates.

First off, the difference between "loose" and "lose." If something is all dangly, or is easy to get into bed, it's loose. If you don't win, you lose. Moreover, the non-winner is the LOSER, not the "looser."

Next, "to" and "too." I'll skip "two," because if you're that stupid, stop reading now. "Too" much of a good thing, not "to" much. "Let's go to the movies, and rob a 7-11, too." Is that too hard to understand?

Apostrophes. Why are they such a mystery? First off, there are contractions - the combination of two(!) words, like "there is" = "there's" and "are not" = "aren't." Next, we have the possessive versus contractive. JR's take on this is that people don't look at the context. Here's a simple test: if there's more than one, it's plural, and doesn't require an apostrophe. If the sentence mentions something that belongs to the noun, then it's possessive. "A shooter's ability is measured by shooting"(that's possessive). "There are reasons that shooters don't face each other when shooting." (that's plural). Here's a full rundown on plurals vs. possessives.

Their, there, and they're:
There = at or in that place.
Their = the possessive form of they.
They're = the contraction of "they are."
They're there for their own reasons.

One more thing: "its" is the possessive form of it. "It's" is the contraction of "it is" or "it has." If you can replace "it's" in your sentence with "it is," or "it has," then your word is "it's;" otherwise, your word is "its." There's no such word as "its'"

Your and you're is another one I see a lot. "You're" is a contraction of "you are." "Your" indicates ownership or possession. As in: "You're a sanctimonious grammar nazi and I hate your guts."

That's all for now. I feel better.

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