04 January 2005

Crazy Sanity-Challenged People and the Internets (Part Deux)

This is pretty much a repost of an old article I did last year, but I've added a few new ones.

I guess crazy people have been around for as long as there have been "normal" people, but it wasn't until the advent of the Internets that I've had to put up with them. I mean, how often do you actually physically meet a bonafide loony, really? However, a casual stroll through the web will avail you of all sorts of conspiracy theorists, wannabe superstars, and just plain old-fashioned whackos who now have a medium through which they can share their lunacy with the rest of humankind.

What's that you say? You don't know what I'm talking about? Be deprived no longer. Look, linger over their particular brand of whackiness, and don't forget to buy their products!

The Nibiruan Council. You can order the Planetary Ascension Package B for only $99.00. Sounds like a deal to me. This site is so seriously crazy that I fear for my own sanity just for having read parts of it.

John Titor - okay, technically not a nut, but has inspired a generation of new nuts. John came from the future. Well, actually from the past, returning to the future, because he needed a vintage IBM computer to solve some sort of UNIX problem in the future. Um, anyway, there's gonna be civil war and Mad Cow disease all over the place, unless we do something. In all fairness, it would make a pretty cool movie, vis-a-vis Terminator.

Orbit is interesting. If by interesting you mean horribly confusing, rambling, incoherent psychotic rants about chemtrails, earthquakes, and those devil-worshipping Bushes.

Armageddon Online. Can't tell yer megatsunamis from your pandemics without this site! Did you know a wave thousands of feet high will someday hit New York? It's on the Internets, so it must be true!

Swami Sananda - one of my all-time fave loonies, and the one whose ass I want to kick the most. An aggravating website resplendent with unwanted new-age music, horrible HTML and graphics, and lots and lots of pics of Swami Bananarama. He's the coo-cookiest, man.

My Bodyweight. That's the name of the title page. Seriously. This person is one reason that I carry a gun. He is so very seriously insane that it boggles the sane part of my mind (what's left of it after looking at this site). This dude can't keep a job because someone is manipulating the timeline to change history, mess with his ability to stay married, change the climate, and generally commit shenannigans. Of course, this guy is the ONLY person who's on to this scheme. Thank goodness his sane and sober exegesis of this vast conspiracy can be perused via the wonderful WWW. Don't forget: the shiny side of the foil goes out. Update - can't seem to get to either www.evidence-timeline.com, or www.evidence-timeline.com. Pity.

The Reptilians. Who are they really? Who really cares? This crazy person does. Buy her music.

Thule makes mincemeat of Mensa! An alliterative nutball. Cool.

Archure (it's a copyrighted name). Turn your speakers up for this one, kids! Archure's a musical genius. Just ask him. Let's face it, there's not that many musical geniuses writing MIDI music anymore. Mostly because it sucks. Visit the Music page and be amazed! Pure genius.

Crystalinks. Ellie Crystal's a psychic! Neato! She got abducted by aliens! Sweet! She's from Brooklyn! ick. Craptacular site.

Infowars.com - Alex Jones hates everything, apparently. Especially the government. Conspiracy! Conspiracy!

Jeff Rense must have the same water supply as Alex Jones. Mercy. If the volume of crap you put out equals truth, Jeff is the mullet-wearing man!

I've noticed a disturbing trend with most of these sites - a complete lack of visual acuity and any taste whatsoever. They have dozens of pages, and each page is about a mile long. It's called "hyperlinking," people. Use it. Don't believe me? Take a look at DREAMS OF THE GREAT EARTH CHANGES. Cover your eyes, then use the scroll wheel on your mouse. A lot.

This is making me tired, and that means the rays are taking control of my mind. Must...get...rest...sleep...consume...reproduce....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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