15 January 2005

Mikey Moore Gets No Love From Old High School

Would you want him as a role model? Would you want your son or daughter to be like him?" asked Don Hammond, a member of the Hall of Fame selection committee. "I haven't talked to anybody yet who's for him. The word to describe Michael Moore is embarrassing. He embarrasses everybody.

14 January 2005

The Volokh Conspiracy - Gun Control Doesn't Work

However, the the National Academy of Sciences doesn't want to fess up to that fact.
Last month, the National Academy of Sciences issued a 328-page report on gun control laws. The big news that has been ignored on all the blog sites is that the academy's panel couldn't identify any benefits of the decades-long effort to reduce crime and injury by restricting gun ownership. The only conclusion it could draw was: Let's study the question some more.

The panel has left us with two choices: Either academia and the government have wasted tens of millions of dollars and countless man-hours on useless research (and the panel would like us to spend more in the same worthless pursuit), or the National Academy is so completely unable to separate politics from its analyses that it simply can't accept the results for what they are.

Based on 253 journal articles, 99 books, 43 government publications, and some of its own empirical work, the panel couldn't identify a single gun control regulation that reduced violent crime, suicide or accidents.
Check out the link, and follow the link to John Lott's response to the study. Interesting reading.

Pentagon reveals rejected chemical weapons - News | Print | New Scientist

Sex Bomb?? Wasn't that a bad 1960s flick??

Yahoo! News - Some Now Question Cost of Inauguration

JR - time to post up the image of the little baby whining again. I am so sick of hearing the long haired hippie freaks whining about every single thing Bush does. Drink a can of STFU juice and go home!

13 January 2005

Biker Fox Update

The 2005 pics are up. Now, I seriously don't know if this guy is for real, or if this is some sort of viral web thing. Regardless, he's proof that the apocalypse is upon us.

By the way, he's from Oklahoma.

Playboy Playmate Acquitted in Assault Case

A Playboy Playmate accused of karate-kicking the ex-girlfriend of NFL quarterback Jeff Garcia was acquitted Wednesday of a misdemeanor assault charge.
Karate, huh? Personally, I'd rather see her box.

Thanka. Thanka verra mush.

Arkansas Cops Use Taser to Subdue Nude Jogger

Thank goodness for the Taser, huh? Otherwise, it might have been...uncomfortable.

"Tackle him!"
"I'm not tackling a nekkid guy. YOU tackle him."
"Wait, I've got an idea....BZZZZZZZZZT!!"

Good skin contact helps a Taser, ya know.

The L.A.R.K. Program

A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Attached is a copy of a letter they received back:

The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. ,20016

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.

Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is extremely violent, and a sociopathic killer , we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws.

Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him, and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that Ahmed will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka - over time. Just remind them that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" - wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you, who know so much more than we do, even though they have ! never be en there, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching. Good luck!

Cordially...Your Buddies,

"W" & Donny Rumsfeld

Indonesia wants foreign troops out, defends restrictions on tsunami aid

You know, sometimes you just want to open up a can of whoop ass.

Here's a suggestion to the governments of the US, Australia, Japan, Malaysia and Singapore. Leave the aid effort to feed, clothe, and house the tidal wave victims in Indonesia to their Muslim brethren Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia and Qatar. Since they are apparently concerned about having the infidel help them out I think we should do the right thing and get out of the way.

12 January 2005

C-130 Pilot's Story

This is a scream. It's allegedly from a colorful writer from the 1st Marine Air Wing based at MCAS Miramar.

There I was at six thousand feet over central Iraq, two hundred eighty knots and we're dropping faster than Paris Hilton's panties. It's a typical September evening in the Persian Gulf; hotter than a rectal thermometer and I'm sweating like a priest at a Cub Scout meeting. But that's neither here nor there. The night is moonless over Baghdad tonight, and blacker than a Steven King novel. But it's 2004, folks, and I'm sporting the latest in night-combat technology - namely, hand-me-down night vision goggles (NVGs) thrown out by the fighter boys.

Additionally, my 1962 Lockheed C-130E Hercules is equipped with an obsolete, yet, semi-effective missile warning system (MWS). The MWS conveniently makes a nice soothing tone in your headset just before the missile explodes into your airplane. Who says you can't polish a turd?

At any rate, the NVGs are illuminating Baghdad International Airport like the Las Vegas Strip during a Mike Tyson fight. These NVGs are the cat's ass. But I've digressed.

The preferred method of approach tonight is the random / shallow. This tactical maneuver allows the pilot to ingress the landing zone in an unpredictable manner, thus exploiting the supposedly secured perimeter of the airfield in an attempt to avoid enemy surface-to-air-missiles and small arms fire. Personally, I wouldn't bet my pink ass on that theory but the approach is fun as hell and that's the real reason we fly it.

We get a visual on the runway at three miles out, drop down to one thousand feet above the ground, still maintaining two hundred eighty knots. Now the fun starts. It's pilot appreciation time as I descend the mighty Herk to six hundred feet and smoothly, yet very deliberately, yank into a sixty degree left bank, turning the aircraft ninety degrees offset from runway heading. As soon as we roll out of the turn, I reverse turn to the right a full two hundred seventy degrees in order to roll out aligned with the runway. Some aeronautical genius coined this maneuver the "Ninety/Two-Seventy." Chopping the power during the turn, I pull back on the yoke just to the point my nether regions start to sag, bleeding off energy in order to configure the pig for landing

"Flaps Fifty! Landing Gear Down!, Before Landing Checklist!" I look over at the copilot and he's shaking like a cat shitting on a sheet of ice.

Looking further back at the navigator, and even through the NVGs, I can clearly see the wet spot spreading around his crotch. Finally, I glance at my steely-eyed flight engineer. His eyebrows rise in unison as a grin forms on his face. I can tell he's thinking the same thing I am..."Where do we find such fine young men?"

"Flaps One Hundred!" I bark at the shaking cat. Now it's all aim-point and airspeed. Aviation 101, with the exception there are no lights, I'm on NVGs, it's Baghdad, and now tracers are starting to crisscross the black sky. Naturally, and not at all surprisingly, I grease the Goodyear's on brick-one of runway 33 left, bring the throttles to ground idle and then force the props to full reverse pitch. Tonight, the sound of freedom is my four Hamilton Standard propellers chewing through the thick, putrid, Baghdad air. The huge, one hundred thirty thousand pound, lumbering whisper pig comes to a lurching stop in less than two thousand feet! Let's see a Viper do that!

We exit the runway to a welcoming committee of government issued Army grunts. It's time to download their beans and bullets and letters from their sweethearts, look for war booty, and of course, urinate on Saddam's home. Walking down the crew entry steps with my lowest-bidder, Beretta 92F, 9 millimeter strapped smartly to my side, I look around and thank God, not Allah, I'm an American and I'm on the winning team. Then I thank God I'm not in the Army. Knowing once again I've cheated death, I ask myself, "What in the hell am I doing in this mess?" Is it Duty, Honor, and Country?

You bet your ass. Or could it possibly be for the glory, the swag, and not to mention - chicks dig the Air Medal. There's probably some truth there too. But now is not the time to derive the complexities of the superior, cerebral properties of the human portion of the aviator-man-machine model. It is however, time to get out of this ****-hole. Hey copilot, clean yourself up! And how's 'bout the 'Before Starting Engines Checklist?"

God, I love this job!

Brady Campaign - Facts Crapola - State Report Cards - 2004

See how your state rates with the Brady Bunch. I'm very disappointed that we only scored a D- in Texas. I was hoping for an outright F. What's a state gotta do? I mean, Alabama got an F!

I haven't done this yet, but I'd like to correlate the Brady rating with Red/Blue state voting in the election. I'd bet it's a high correlation.

I say F the whole Brady Campaign!

Marine Corps News> Marine sniper credited with longest confirmed kill in Iraq

That's correct, and he's from Texas.

Store Fires Employee Who Refused Service To Marine

Any chance that the convenience store employee might have been from Iraq? Nah.
He went in to the store and asked the clerk (a man of middle eastern descent) for a can of tobacco, at which point the clerk asked him if he was in the military. (He had on a USMC shirt) After my brother replied, "yes sir" the man said nothing to him and looked at the other middle eastern man in the back of the store. Then both men proceeded to go in to the storeroom and did not come out. My brother yelled back to them a time or two and they did not respond.

Jason waited a few minutes and finally left the store.

11 January 2005

The New Yorker: Fact

This is it, I thought. A shot will come from somewhere, the Americans will open fire, and the world will witness the My Lai massacre of the Iraq war. At that moment, an American officer stepped through the crowd holding his rifle high over his head with the barrel pointed to the ground. Against the backdrop of the seething crowd, it was a striking gesture - almost Biblical. "Take a knee," the officer said, impassive behind surfer sunglasses. The soldiers looked at him as if he were crazy. Then, one after another, swaying in their bulky body armor and gear, they knelt before the boiling crowd and pointed their guns at the ground. The Iraqis fell silent, and their anger subsided.
A very interesting read. Mind you, I don't agree with all of the assessments and assumptions in the story, but it's full of interesting observations about today's soldiers.

10 January 2005


Check out the hardware - got enough ammo for a couple of good bursts there, don't he? H&K 51 G36, looks like to me. An impressive firearm.

Inaugural security looks pretty tight.

The Michael Bane Blog: Michael Gets Dinged, Too!

Uh-oh. I think that Para-Ordnance sponsorship for IDPA looks grim...

The Para LDA 9mm is now illegal - it's too heavy. More reason to run from IDPA. Now, let's see...who shoots the Para? Todd Jarrett, isn't it?