22 May 2004

Did I mention I like to shoot?


The California Assembly has passed legislation making tanning booths illegal for teens. It goes to the Senate next.

This is like, so typical of California, you know?

Legislated common sense. It's obvious that people can't think for themselves, so let's pass a law. Look what legislation has done to stop drinking and smoking. And guns - don't forget guns. Totally.

Like, where will Cali teens go to get a tan now?

21 May 2004

WiFi Speed Spray

Speed up that slow wireless connection!

MSNBC - NRA targets gun enthusiast Kerry

Gee. John Kerry has a rifle and a shotgun. Why in heaven's name wouldn't the NRA back him?

John Kerry is one of the most anti-gun Senators in the history of this nation. Kennedy, Schumer, Feinstein, and Kerry. The 4 stooges. Kerry and his fellow Democrats hold themselves to be morally superior to the common man, who should never be allowed to own guns. Feinstein (who has a concealed weapon permit - hypocrite) has stated that her goal is to disarm America. Pawns of the VPC (Brady Campaign) is what they are, and John Kerry is front and center.

�We�re confident that John Kerry is a lifelong hunter, gun owner,� said Kerry adviser Tad Devine. �It�s going to be very difficult to paint him in the same kind of corner into which Al Gore was painted by the NRA.�

Lotsa luck, pal. You're not fooling anyone, much less the gun owners of this country. He's anti-gun all the way.

My New Hero

Michael Moore Hates America

Michael Wilson rules. He's going to expose that Benny Hill-lookin' nation-hater for what he is: a fraud with a movie camera and editing software out to make himself filthy rich.

Earth is Now the Fourth Rock From the Sun

And people say there's nothing new under the sun. How long has that thing been zipping around our solar system?

MSNBC - Newborn baby is one in 40,000

MSNBC - Newborn baby is one in 40,000

Thank goodness for C-sections. 'Nuff said.

20 May 2004

Welcome to anncoulter.com!

I love Ann Coulter.

It's even better that the libbys don't know how to handle her.

Look out for suicide bombers!

This is helpful. It was 90 degrees today in Texas. Naturally, if I see someone wearing a big, bulky jacket, I'm gonna run up and see if he smells of chemicals, and see if he's got wires trailing from his jacket. According to this good intel, if the person has tightly clenched fists, there could be detonator. By the way, don't shoot him, because it might be a dead-man switch.

IF I see someone wearing a heavy jacket on a 90-degree day, I will:
a) think he's crazy
b) not go near him
c) shoot him if he needs it
d) all of the above

Correct answer: d

Tip for terrorists: don't come to Texas. We carry guns, and some of us are pretty good with them. I can hit you in the head from a distance that won't get me hurt. Have fun in "paradise," and tell all those hairy-legged, smelly "virgins" I said hey.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Don't say SPAM like it's a bad thing!

SA drunk donkey cart driver fined

Geez. Wish I had a nickel for every time this has happened to me.

Fan, poked with mystery object at Coors Field, dies

yikes. I say we nuke...oh, I don't know...Afghanistan, just in case. Sounds like a test for the Olympics to me...

Conspiracy theorists? Anyone? Anyone?


Where�s Kerry?

This is what passes for liberal hopes and prayers??

"If ever there was a moment for John Kerry to come out swinging, this [the prisoner abuse story] is it. It is the biggest story of the war, and he is essentially silent."

The prisoner abuse story is "the biggest story of the war"?? Un freaking believable. I guess the mad dash to Iraq's capital, the complete and utter failure of the Iraqi miliatary, the killing of Saddamm's sons, the capture of Saddamm himself, the discovery over the past two weeks of WMD's in Iraq, and the prisoner abuse story is the biggest of the war? Just how much Xanex was this woman on when she wrote the story?

oh, but there's more:

"The independent voters who will decide this election want someone who is bold, decisive and a leader. They want someone like John McCain, who even though he wears a Republican team shirt has been candid and blunt in assessing the fallout from this and other Bush fiascos."

So, if someone who is a Republican (apparently in name only) slams other Republicans, then he's "candid and blunt". But, if a Democrat Senator, like Zel Miller, comes out in support of Bush, then where's the coverage of that?

But, it gets better:
"Kerry�s decision-making style is that he calls a lot of people for advice rather than just go with his gut. Surely his instinct as a Vietnam vet must be to come out swinging with both fists."

Basically, what you're saying, Elenor, is that Kerry can't make up his own mind and needs other people to tell him what to think? Or is that rather shallow and mean spirited on my part? And, as for what I've seen of his instincts as a Vietnam vet, he learned to duck and run pretty damn well.

You know, I guess if I wanted to take the dumbass pill, I could be a liberal too.

Andrew C. McCarthy

So, when are we just going to come out and admit that this war is one between Islam and the rest of the world?? Guess that would be too hateful, eh?

House Democratic Leader Pelosi calls Bush 'incompetent'

House Democratic Leader Pelosi calls Bush 'incompetent'

So, Nancy Pelosi, in all her brilliance, says that the Pres isn't a leader?? I don't know about you, but when I saw George Bush climb atop the rubble after 9-11 and tell the folks gathered round that "I hear you, the world hears you and the people who committed this act will hear you soon", all I could do was give thanks that it wasn't Algore.

Pelosi, once again, proves she's an idiot.

John Kerry Gets Fragged by his Boat Crew


"We did not give permission for you to use a photo including our image, nor do we support you. ... We join our fellow Swiftees who believe that someone who heaped scorn and lies on his own unit for his personal political gain is not fit to be Commander in Chief."

Dont Embrass Urself Infront Of Girl slovenly respicere protozoan

About darned time.

Do you think this will really happen?

Me neither.

66% of German Motorists Lie on Surveys

33% of German motorists fantasize about sex when stuck in traffic, while only 10% think about another route.

8% - how much gas they have
7% - the next meal
7% - need to pee
6% - careers
10% - family
7% - shopping list
7% - clutch damage (?!?)
6% - nothing (they're the ones on the phone, I bet)

Check the math - I came up with 101%. Those Germans are so clever.

19 May 2004

Democrats Want Your Oil

So gas prices get higher, and now the Democrats want to tap into our strategic oil reserve. There's some sound thinking. Kind of like, "we're running low on bullets for the military, so let's start using nukes." Tapping into your defensive anything isn't a good idea unless you really, really need it.

18 May 2004

Detainees' families want soldiers executed

Okay. Final post for the night, mostly because I'm sick of seeing crap like this.

This demonstrates the nature of the peace-loving people of Iraq, and/or Islamic extremists (in this case, it's probably a combination - these guys are in prison for a reason). Am I generalizing and over-processing? Sure. Look at who we're talking about. Rational Islamists? How's that for an oxymoron?

Iraqis were tortured and humiliated, so Americans should die for that.

Peace on you.

Tests Confirm Sarin in Iraqi Artillery Shell

Gee. Imagine that. It really was Sarin gas in a binary artillery shell, one of the special weapons we've been looking for. It's just amazing to me that people thought we'd stumble all over these things once we got to Iraq. Saddam has so many hiding places, we'll be finding all kinds of amazing things for years to come.

Why do we act surprised when we find something like this? Moreover, where's the outrage that Saddam has these things in his arsenal? Are we really that short-sighted?

Yeah. We are. Ask the Kurds.

Ay, Caramba!

Fidel Castro can live to 140, doctor says

Geez. Let's hope not.

Ok, I now officially really don't care

You know, I've about had it up to here with the national news media's continued coverage of the prisoner abuses in Iraq. I..... don't..... care. Yes, the idiot guards and anyone else involved should be punished, but to suggest this was an American policy is just stoopid.

Where's the coverage of the terrorists slicing off the heads of Nick Berg, and the American journalist last year? Where's the coverage of now confirmed WMD's being found in Iraq? Where's the coverage of the positive things Americans are doing in Iraq? Hell, where's the coverage of the atrocities that John Kerry admitted to committing in Vietnam?

I am sick and tired of the American news media trying to equate the same level of morality to a group of idiot MPs and the execution of hostages as well as the destruction of the World Trade Center. And people ask me why I never watch the nightly news? Could it be because they're idiots??

Or am I just another angry white guy?

Attention students: ooh, baby. Yeah. That's it...

Porn Switched With School's Announcement

I can't just make this stuff up, folks. Georgia's public education system has bred some real wise-acres. What a hoot.

The .0025 Million Mothers March

Mothers march for renewal of federal assault-weapon ban

All 2500 of them. Not a million. Not "thousands" as the Washington Post stated on page B-1.

Bless their SUV-driving hearts. I know they mean well, but most of them wouldn't know an "assault weapon" from a blunderbuss. There's some sort of paranoia about guns in general that these folks are having problems coming to terms with. There are no assault weapons in America. Just semi-automatic rifles and handguns. An assault weapon (as characterized by the AK-47 in most rhetoric) is an automatic weapon. Unless you're a specially-licensed individual, you can't own an automatic weapon. The ATF knows where all the automatic weapons are, save the ones that might be in the US illegally.

They're scared of scary-looking guns. That's all the AWB ever was: a ban on scary-looking guns. The AWB is just as irrational as its sponsors.

The Eagle has Crash Landed

Now where am I supposed to get my Rage and Disturbed fixes from?? Ah, The Bone, you say, but what if I don't want to sit through Ratt and Motley Crue?? Aaahhhh!!

Stupid Gets a Poster Boy

SUCKER. Ah, it does my heart good when a thief gets what's coming to him.

Barbie Drug?

ChannelOklahoma.com - News - 'Barbie Drug' Could Have Multiple Effects On Body.

Neato. One pill to help you tan, lose weight, and increase your sex drive. Seems too good to be true. But Channel 5 news in Oklahoma couldn't be wrong, could they?

And what the heck is a "natural tan without the sun???"

Help With High Fuel Prices

GasBuddy Organization, Inc. has a handy little website for finding and reporting gasoline prices in your area. Yeah - we attacked Iraq for the oil. Suuure we did.

17 May 2004

Hans Blix & David Kay - WMD Experts?

So the headline says: Sarin Nerve Agent Bomb Explodes in Iraq. Hans Blix & David Kay say, "nah - just a 'stray' weapon."

Riiiight. No wonder they couldn't find WMDs in Iraq.

Haiku Fight Song

Five, seven, and five
Haiku posse represent!
'Sup to all my peeps!

Moon shot

Hey, hold my beer. And watch this!

Flash Photography

Alexandra Kerry apparently didn't know about the effect a flash has on black, sheer garments. Bet she do now. Careful - the link is probably not safe for work...

Michael Moore is a Pork Face

Too bad Orson Welles isn't around to play Michael Moore in the inevitable self-serving, fictitious, so-called "documentary" of his life. Moore is an embarrassment to America.

Gay Marriage

Caramba. Remember, ugly lesbians need love, too.