Bill Clinton Starts Breast Cancer Fund

I'm guessing he will be helping out with the examinations.

One of the most unfortunate names ever

Designer busts out with wall of breasts

A Dutch designer has created a wall of fake breasts to help male
shoppers buy bras that fit their wives or girlfriends.
"When trying to buy a sexy bra for their wife or girlfriend, usually they
point to other women in the shop or, when asked about size, they say a
'handful'."

The Great Wall of Hooters. Awesome.

McNair's sack pain lingers

"There are going to be some times you hate to get up"

I can't think of anything more painful than lingering sack pain.

Area 2 - Desert Classic - 2005 - Brian's Forums... Maku mozo!

Damn, does this match look like fun or what? Dan, TG, and the Pimp are going to Area 2 out in the desert. Scroll down for stage descriptions.....

Wish I could go!!! :(

New Dog

Well, as of this afternoon, JR has a new pet. At the present time, the animal is named Sugar. That sucks, but a 14-year-old girl (The Princess) got to pick it. We'll see if it sticks. Right now, Sugar is yelping like a caged animal in her...um...cage. I'm crate-training her, and that's a little disconcerting for the pup. She's part shepherd, part something else - not really sure what. Maybe Siberian, based on some markings, her eyes, and tail. Guess we'll know in a couple months.

Rescued from the local animal shelter. Pretty cute dog.

Bizarre fight over charcoal ends in freak death of husband

Those wacky Houstonians.

Investigators tell Eyewitness News the woman was upset at the man for not bringing home charcoal for the grill. The argument reportedly escalated to the point where the pair allegedly poured lighter fluid on each other.

Obviously a crime of passion, ignited by the flames of love.

Woman Has Nearly 3,000 Toll Violations

Here's another local story.

But Evangelina Gonzalez apparently pressed her luck with nearly 3,000 violations since February 2004. Gonzalez, 41, owes a record $76,039, which includes a $25 administrative fee per violation, The Dallas Morning News reported in Wednesday editions.

If she'd just paid the tolls, it would've only been about $1800. In another bit of shocking information:

Gonzalez could not immediately be reached for comment Wednesday by The Associated Press. No phone listing for her could be found.

US bird flu plan under attack

Somebody - someone who understands basic logic - besides me (I'm a computer scientist) - help me understand the logic here.

People are criticizing a plan that they say should've been implemented FIVE years ago, for a problem that does not yet exist today. More people have died from snake bites, alligator attacks, and frickin' sharks (no laser beams on their heads) than from bird flu (62 - count 'em - 62 people have died from bird flu). Where's the plan for eliminating reptiles and scary fish? And where are the critics of that plan? For that matter, shouldn't we have a plan for open containers of water, tall buildings, and mosquito bites? How do you get the bird flu?

People can catch it when handling or, especially, slaughtering fowl. It does not appear to be passed in cooked meat or eggs.

No, Catfish - choking your chicken will not get you sick. You'll go blind, though.

50 CENT SLAMS KANYE'S 'BUSH IS RACIST' COMMENT

The IN DA CLUB star believes human intervention could not have prevented the effects of the hurricane, which killed over a thousand people in the US gulf states in August (05), and sees no point in reprimanding the President for something which was beyond his control.

Ya know, every once in a while somebody I would never expect, comes out and surprises me. After hearing some of the black leadership, whose goal is to cause as much racial division as possible, bash Bush for everything from causing the hurricane to blowing up the levees, it's refreshing to hear somebody not politicize the disaster.

A fatwa on football

Not American football, of course, but rather that sport that allows tie games and involves running up and down the field with almost no action most of the time. Anyhoo, this is pretty HI-larious. In an effort to eliminate frivilous fatwas, a Saudi paper published one. It's an interesting insight to the Muslim Arab mind, chock full of logical gems like this one:

6. Do not play in two halves. Rather, play in one half or three halves in order to completely differentiate yourselves from the heretics, the corrupted and the disobedient.

I don't know about you, but 3 halves of soccer is more than I can take.

Here's the gist of this fatwa: Don't do things like the West (or Israel), particularly the evil Americans. Instead do something stupid and illogical, rather than be like them.

This is the ideology that they would foist upon you and I. As for me, I'll remain an infidel, thanks very much.

Devilish doo-doo prank ignites panic

Ah, the old flaming bag of poop trick. It's all fun and games until someone's house gets burned to the ground.

That's why I keep a shotgun by the door every Halloween. TRICK!

Prince Charles to plead Islam's cause to Bush

This is just what we need now. Bring some touchy feely, kumbaya singing royal Prince to the United States and we have to get lectured on how we need to understand the warm and fuzzy part of islam. Yeah, right.

Perhaps his Highness hasn't noticed, but we're not allowed to profile young Arab men. If anyone so much as raises their voice to state the islamists want us all dead, with our heads hacked off as the good prophet tells them, then the CAIR raises a holy stink and the person unfortunate enough to have told the truth is out of a job. Perhaps the Highness if referring to the massive firestorm raised by the abomination of the insane memorial to the Flight 93 victims?

Quoth the Prince:

The Prince of Wales will try to persuade George W Bush and Americans of the merits of Islam this week because he thinks the United States has been too intolerant of the religion since September 11.

Really? I wonder if the tolerance (spit) of Islam in England helped them to avoid a recent nasty bombing in their subway system? Hmmmmm?

Or, perhaps it is their tolerance (spit) that allows such love, peace, and harmony as this: "In January The Times revealed that Bakri Mohammad used the same network to declare Britain a “land of war” and encourage his followers to join al-Qaeda."

The good Prince also reportedly had this to say:

I find the language and rhetoric coming from America too confrontational....

I wonder if he notices little things like this:

Shouting "Death to Israel, death to the Zionists", the protesters dragged Israeli flags along the ground and set them on fire.

Or this:

An Islamic terror cell has smuggled two surface-to-air missiles into Europe in a plot to shoot down planes at one of France's main airports, it was claimed yesterday.

Surely shooting down civilian jetliners can't be considered confrontational?

In an earlier speech, the Crown Prince spewed this tripe, urging "the West to overcome its "unthinkable prejudices" about Islam and its customs and laws."

You know what, Charlie? When the Islamists decide that it's not acceptable to kill innocent and defensless hostages; that it's not acceptable to blow up innocent people in a crowded subway - people who's only crime was to not be a muslim; that it's not acceptable to destroy a crowded school, filled with innocent children then maybe I can get over my unthinkable prejudices. Until that time, mind your own stinking business.

We've finally found Dan!

Frequent readers may notice that one of our regular authors has been on a bit of a hiatus. Well, he was spotted just yesterday in public for the first time!!

Dan and Dan

Go see the rest of this Halloween quackery, it's worth a laugh or two or three.