18 October 2006

Man dismembers girlfriend in Quarter; cooks body parts

Here's the understatement of the year.
The couple seemed happy at first, he said, though that would soon break down.
Yeah, I'd call it a bit of a breakdown:
A suicide note in the pocket of a man who jumped off the Omni Royal Orleans Hotel late Tuesday led police to the grisly scene of his girlfriend’s murder, where they found her charred head in a pot on the stove, her legs and feet baked in the oven and the rest of her dismembered body in trash bag in the refrigerator, according to police and the couple’s landlord.
Laissez les bons temps rouler!

US full of Internet addicts study

Most disturbing was the discovery that some people hid their Internet surfing, or went online to cure foul moods in ways that mirrored the way alcoholics use booze, according to the study's lead author, Elias Aboujaoude.

"In a sense, they're using the Internet to self-medicate," Aboujaoude said. "And obviously something is wrong when people go out of their way to hide their Internet activity."
Sounds like crap to me. Let's look closer:
"Pornography is just one area of excessive Internet use."
I see. Obviously a flawed study.
Nearly six percent of the respondents felt that their personal relationships suffered as a result of their excessive Internet use.
I decided to check with some friends, and I think this summarizes what they had to say:Now leave me alone. I have some anti-social behavior that I need to nurture.

School bans tag, other chase games

Sweet merciful crap. An elementary school has banned tag, touch football, and other sports at recess.
Recess is "a time when accidents can happen," said Willett Elementary School Principal Gaylene Heppe, who approved the ban.
Well, no shit, GAYlene. What kind of children are we raising? I remember almost killing myself when I tried to see how high the swing would go, then jumped out at the apogee, and had my fall broken by a small tree. You gonna tell kids they can't be stupid, can't have fun, can't knock each other down? I tell ya, it's the apocalypse.

Yes, this is the same township that wanted to ban dodgeball a few years ago. What a bunch of milk-drinking, cake-eating pansies. Before you know it, we'll have a nation of girly-men, but at least they'll have great self-esteem. Until they actually try to accomplish something on their own, that is.

17 October 2006

Only in Arkansas...

"It was a drive-by crossbow shooting," said Gilgenbach.

Oookay. That's different.
A man who allegedly shot a crossbow at a motorist after being on the receiving end of an obscene gesture has been charged with committing a terroristic act.

But wait, there's more!
Wayne Allen Dierks, Jr. 26, was arrested Sunday and is also charged with possession of an instrument of crime, driving while intoxicated and driving with a suspended driver's license.

And there was drinking involved?? I'm shocked.
A police report said that Gilgenbach admitted to making an obscene gesture at Dierks, but the motorist on Monday said he could not recall that incident.

Hmmm, no recollection of the event, huh? What IS it with people from Arkansas? At least he didn't ask for a definition of "obscene".

16 October 2006

Gun control bill's co-author helps kill it

California politics, and in particular, San Francisco politics crack me up. Consider the ridiculous AB352, proposed by Paul Koretz of West Hollywood, which would have required that semiautomatic handguns leave a microscopic ID on the back of shell cases they fired. Nevermind that the technology is sci-fi, and nevermind that criminals would easily circumvent this future tech, Leland Yee of San Francisco was not be dissuaded by such trivialities in his support of the bill. He voted FOR it THREE separate times.

But then a funny thing happened on the way to the Assembly floor. Yee apparently changed his mind. Sort of.

As the acting speaker when the bill came up for consideration, Yee had the power to manage the pace of bills being voted on. When this bill came up for a vote, the "yes" voters weren't on the floor. Yee zoomed right through the process, and it came up 3 votes short, after Yee himself abstained. The kiss of death.

Here's the kicker:
Under Assembly rules, since Yee wasn't the deciding vote, he was allowed to go back after the bill had died and change his vote to "yes." Which he did.

Thus, Yee can still brag that he officially voted for the bill -- even though his actions helped kill it.

How's that for politics?
Works for me.