14 January 2006

Miss America Eyes Hip, Wholesome Comeback

Miss Congeniality, a title awarded to a competitor by her peers, will make a comeback after being pulled from the show in 1974. Each segment of the pageant, such as the evening-gown competition, will be introduced by clips of historical highlights. The final selection process goes from 10 to five and then to three finalists to help build suspense.

Quote of the year

I've seen this quote attributed to both a Marine sniper and a SF sniper. Is it true? Who knows, but it's perfect.

A _____ sniper was being interviewed by a Rueters reporter in Afghanistan. When asked by the reporter what he felt when he killed Afghan terrorists, the sniper shrugged and said "recoil".

13 January 2006

The Market Hall Gun Show

I've been meaning to get around to this for some time now. Executive summary of this post: the Market Hall Gun Show sucks.

The Story
Catfish and I went to the Market Hall gun show this last Saturday morning. His goal was to purchase some 7.62x39 ammo, and I was on a quest to trade in my Glock 17 for a more concealable Glock 26 or even 27. I boxed up my freshly-scrubbed 17 in a nice new Glock box, with 6 or 7 mags, some hi-cap, some 10-rounders. My Glock is no crappy gun. It's got Heinie race-cut sights, a very nice skateboard tape job, extended mag release, T.R. Graham's custom lock-up, some springs, and a decent trigger job. Sure, it's had a few rounds run through it (50-60,000?), but it's in perfect condition. I made up a little 8.5x11 sign (with big, easy-to-read letters) advertising what I had, and what I wanted.

We met at the range, then went over to Market Hall. Traffic was heavy, and the parking lot was mostly full. There were more pickup trucks there than you could shake a redneck at.

There was a line to get in, where we got randomly chatted up by an older guy who must've surmised that since we had guns, we must like to talk about football. Nice guy, though. It cost SEVEN dollars to get in, but only after my gun was checked and strapped, of course. We took off to the north side of the hall, because that's where the bathrooms were.

The first thing I noticed was that I wasn't immediately set upon by the dealers who have tables at the entrance. They usually swarm you and want to know what you've got. Then they offer you a stupidly low price for it, and act all hurt when you tell them to get bent. However, on this side of the hall - nothin'.

The second thing I noticed was the proliferation of...what's the word I'm looking for?...ah, yes: crap. Piles of clothing, candles, knife sharpeners, antique militaria, etc. It looked like a frickin' flea market. We almost asked how much the mannequin in the wheelchair was, until we realized it was someone's granny wearing a Russian Army hat, having a little snooze.

The third thing I noticed were the prices. Not a bargain to be had at the whole show. Gunpowder was more expensive than what I can buy at Sportsman's Warehouse. Ammo was scarce, and expensive. Even bulk bullets weren't priced competitively. There were no outstanding bargains on handguns, but AR-15 prices seemed reasonable. Catfish couldn't find 7.62x39 ammo in any appreciable quantities, but found enough to get through the weekend.

Driving a hard bargain
On the south side of the hall, the wheelers and dealers pounced. "Whatcha got?" "How much you want?" All this in spite of the sign, written in English that stated, "TRADE." Exasperated, I offered that I'd take $400 for it. I got no better offer than $375.

Finally, I found a used gun dealer, who had a plethora of over-priced firearms, but amongst all that lay my goal: a used Glock 26. His asking price: $460.00. However, I figured he couldn't pass up a straight up trade for a full-sized Glock 17, in similar condition, PLUS all those mags. He was busy with a customer, and asked us to wait.

After about 15 minutes, he finally got to us. "Hi, wonder if you'd be interested in trading that 26 for a 17?" "How much you got in that Glock?" "Huh? I dunno - let's just trade!" "How much are you asking for your 17?" "About 400 bucks, I guess."

I had to point out which handgun was the 26 to him. Uh-oh. He looked at his price tag ($460.00), looked at my 17, and said, "nah - I'll pass." "You mean to tell me you're going to pass on an even trade for a more valuable firearm?" "Yep."

As Catfish will testify, I made a comment questioning his heritage (or was it his sex life? Whatever.), and stormed off, muttering to myself like a crazy person ("stupid *$&@!#, make me wait for 15 minutes, pass up a trade that was to HIS advantage, mutter, mutter, mutter..."), and resigned myself right then and there that the gun show was no place to buy, sell, or trade guns.

What's this world coming to?

Anybody got a Glock 26 they wanna trade for a Glock 17? Seriously.

12 January 2006

DNA Tests Confirm Executed Va. Man Guilty - Yahoo! News

"An innocent man is going to be murdered tonight," the 33-year-old said moments before he was electrocuted on May 20, 1992. "When my innocence is proven, I hope America will realize the injustice of the death penalty as all other civilized countries have.
You wish.
Coleman went to his death proclaiming his innocence, and a finding that he was unjustly executed would have been explosive news that almost certainly would have had a powerful effect on the public's attitude toward capital punishment. Death penalty opponents have argued for years that the risk of a grave and irreversible mistake by the criminal justice system is too great to allow capital punishment.
Alas for old Roger Keith Coleman:
The report from the Centre of Forensic Sciences in Toronto concluded there was almost no conceivable doubt that Coleman was the source of the sperm found in the victim.

"The probability that a randomly selected individual unrelated to Roger Coleman would coincidentally share the observed DNA profile is estimated to be 1 in 19 million," the report said.

Here's the best part:
James McCloskey, executive director of Centurion Ministries, had been fighting to prove Coleman's innocence since 1988. The two shared Coleman's final meal together — cold slices of pizza — just a few hours before Coleman was executed.

"I now know that I was wrong. Indeed, this is a bitter pill to swallow," McCloskey said, describing Thursday's findings as "a kick in the stomach" and adding that he felt betrayed by Coleman.
Mmmm. Toasty.

Let this serve as a lesson to all the naifs of the world: bad guys typically lie, and they typically protest their innocence. So much so, in fact, that they even convince themselves. And that, dear reader, is what makes them so dangerous.

Adeimantus: Study Reveals Joe Biden Is Judiciary Committee's Biggest Gasbag

Follow-up to previous Alito article.

This is priceless, and I'd like to thank my newest blogroll member for this.

Let me summarize the Senate judiciary committee hearings today:
Me. Me, me, me, me. I. Me. Myself. I. Me, me, me, me. I, I, I. Me. Oh, and me.
Quoth Senator Joe Biden:
I mean, I believe you that you were unaware of it. But here I was, University of Delaware graduate, a sitting United States senator, I was aware of it because I was up there on the campus. I mean, it was a big deal. It was a big deal, at least in our area of the Delaware Valley, if Princeton, Penn, the schools around there had this kind -- because the big thing was going on at Brown at the time as well.
But, wait - there's more:
I mean, I really didn't like Princeton. I was an Irish Catholic kid who thought it had not changed like you concluded it had.

I admit, one of my real dilemmas is I have two kids who went to Ivy League schools. I'm not sure my Grandfather Finnegan will ever forgive me for allowing that to happen.

But all kidding aside, I wasn't a big Princeton fan. And so maybe that is why I focused on it and no one else did. But I remember it at the time.
And so it went today. Please read the rest of this fine post to get the numbers. It's truly a hoot.

Man Died After Ducking Flying Shrimp

Flying shrimp. Just one more reason I don't eat seafood. Remember, the shrimp would kill and eat you if they could...

Alito Begins High Court Confirmation Hearings

I like the headline on Fark:
The senator who let a girl drown in his car is asking Alito a lot of questions about matters involving the Concerned Alumni of Princeton that are 20 to 33 years in the past
The typical tenured hypocrites are at it again. Kennedy, Schumer, and Feinstein are doing their dead-level best to undermine yet another Bush Supreme Court nominee.

Feinstein worries about abortion. Kennedy worries about presidential powers. Schumer is just worried about anything that doesn't lean left. They're all a bunch of hypocritical, lying, anti-American liberals.

Their tactics were so offensive and bullying that Alito's wife left the hearings in tears. Nice.

What's really funny is that in spite of all their grandstanding, bullying, and self-importance, Alito's confirmation will move forward. Yes, that's a prediction.

11 January 2006

100s hurt in ritual slaughter

There it is folks: your stupid headline of the day.

Of course, the actual event doesn't appear to be all that smart, either.

10 January 2006

Not only is Britney fat, but she tops the 'worst dressed' list

This post is for all you Britney fans out there.

We love you!


LOS ANGELES (Jan. 10) - Britney Spears topped Mr. Blackwell's 46th annual "Worst Dressed" list for wearing clothes that he said made her look like an "over-the-hill Lolita."

Iran resumes research into nuclear fuel

From the other JR:
This is proving the UN is like the mall security guard. No power/balls for rules enforcement against trouble makers.

"You kids better stop that or I'll have to grab my flashlight and walk away"

09 January 2006

Bird flu may be more common, less deadly

For all you Chicken Little sociopaths who are scrubbing your environment, gargling with Lysol, and avoiding human contact, please note this article. Also, note how the flu is spread:
So far, the bird flu deaths in Turkey involved children playing with dead chickens.
"Hey, Bobby - whatcha got there?" "Oh, hi, Timmy! It's a dead chicken. Wanna play with it?" "Heck yeah! I'll be Colonel Sanders, and you can be the pimply-faced restaurant manager!"

So, what's our bird-flu family profile? Let's take a look:
The new study involved 45,476 randomly selected residents of a rural region where bird flu is rampant among poultry - Ha Tay province west of Hanoi. More than 80 percent lived in households that kept poultry and one-quarter lived in homes reporting sick or dead fowl.
I don't know about the rest of you city folk, but we quit keeping poultry in the house some time ago.

And now for the big scientific conclusion:
"The closer the contact with sick or dead poultry, the higher the risk for flu-like illness," Thorson said. That finding "speaks strongly against it being a circumstantial finding."
Here's a health tip, American citizens: don't play with sick or dead poultry, and chances are you'll be just fine. Now get out from under the bed and get back to work.

Republicans race to replace DeLay

More fun with names!
Among the candidates seeking to succeed DeLay in the No. 2 Republican leadership post are Rep. Roy Blunt of Missouri, who has been acting majority leader in DeLay's absence, and Rep. John Boehner of Ohio, who announced his candidacy Sunday.
Looks like a double boner day! Uh-huh-uh-huh-huh-uh-huhuh-uh.

Gynaecologist to change gender

Colin Bone, who works at The Queen Elizabeth Hospital in King's Lynn, is to go on extended leave and will return to the hospital next autumn as a woman.
Doctor Bone. Beavis and Butthead surely have a tear in their eyes.
"Colin has lived his life as a male with a male body but all the time with an inner understanding of being female," she said.

"Throughout Colin's life he has found some aspects of his identity as a source of confusion and bewilderment."
That, and he's not the prettiest man I ever saw. I can't imagine he/she/it will be any more attractive sans penis.

08 January 2006

NASA to Return Comet Samples to Earth

Michael Crichton wrote a book titled "The Andromeda Strain." Ring any bells?
First it faces a blistering descent, piercing the atmosphere at a record-breaking 29,000 mph the fastest re-entry of any man-made probe.

Its target is Dugway Proving Ground, a Rhode Island-sized Army base southwest of Salt Lake City where in 2004 the ill-fated Genesis probe crashed on live television after its parachute failed to open. Despite that crash, scientists recovered enough solar wind atoms for study.
What could possibly go wrong?