28 May 2005

Some people have no sense of humor

Hat tip to American Drumslinger.

I stole this straight off his site. Is this true? Has this memo ever been written?

Who knows, but it sure made me chuckle this morning.

Military E-Mail

To: All Commands

Subject: Inappropriate T-Shirts

Ref: ComMidEastFor Inst 16134//24 K

1. All commanders promulgate upon receipt

2. The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:

"Eat Pork Or Die" [both English and Arabic versions]

"Shrine Busters" [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artilleryshells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]

Calvin cartoon figure urinating on the Koran.

"Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy" [Both English and Arabic versions]

"Goat- it isn't just for breakfast any more." [Both English andArabic versions]

"The road to Paradise begins with me." [Mostly Arabic versions but some in English. Some show cross-hairs from sniper scope.]

"Guns don't kill people. I kill people." [Both Arabic and Englishversions]

"Pork. The other white meat.' [Arabic version]

"Infidel" [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]

3. The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive.

4. The following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:

"For Sale. Iraqi Government Rifles. Never Fired, only dropped once."

"Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing RangeAt 0800 Daily."

"Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?"

5. All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt

Guantanamo Bay

Now, I wonder why the press is so eager to report anything anti-American, but anything pro-American gets left to wither on the vine. Could it be because anything positive about Americans, and anything potentially damaging to our enemies doesn't fit the template of American arrogance?

Now, why hasn't this made the news:
'Americans are very kind people,' one English-challenged detainee said in the March 4 paper. 'If people say there is mistreatment in Cuba with the detainees, those type speaking are wrong, they treat us like a Muslim not a detainee.'

Detainees eat culturally sensitive meals and follow arrows painted on dorm floors to face Mecca. 'Prayer calls are broadcast over loudspeakers five times a day...'

One detainee 'identified a complex detonation system…that had been used in the Chechen conflict, and now is being used on IEDs [Improvised Explosive Devices] in Iraq, helping U.S. forces to combat this lethal weapon.'
Or, why don't we hear about the poor helpless little muslims wanting to go back and start chopping heads when/if they're released:
'I will arrange for the kidnapping and execution of US citizens living in Saudi Arabia,' one detainee threatened, if freed. 'They will have their heads cut off.'

'There is no need to ask for forgiveness for killing a Jew,' another said. 'Israel should not exist and be removed from Palestine.'
Yep, sounds like the Gulag to me allright.

'Green Acres' Star Eddie Albert Dies at 99

And so, the trifecta is complete.

'Green Acres' was one of my favorite shows growing up, next to 'Leave it to Genie', and 'I Dream of Beaver'.

Victor Davis Hanson on Anti-Americanism

There are easily identifiable constants in these sad examples. Rhetoric is always at odds with lifestyle: A novelist who tours and writes in English is the epitome of the Western liberal tradition that allows freedom of expression, promotes book sales through open markets, and enjoys unfettered peer review. Ms. Roy will always operate deeply embedded in the system she ridicules, and Western grandees will always pay her well for making them feel badly for a few hours. Islamists, Communists, and theocrats - in a Saudi Arabia, Iran, Cuba, or China - would not only not pay her, but might well issue a fatwa, jail time, or a death sentence for what they didn't like to read or hear.
And the coup d' grace:
It is not that we Americans are mad at what you say. It is just that you have all become so hypocritical, then predictable, and now boring — you are all so boring.
About what my good buddy PD says "Frankly, you bore the sh!t out of me."

Amnesty International

Amnesty International is a joke. They have been around as long as I can remember, and continue the long slide into obscurity.

I wonder if they realize that the terrorists would be just as likely to hack their heads off with a dull knife as they would look at them.

Poll majority say they'd be likely to vote for Clinton - Yahoo! News

Only in these here United States would the headline read "Majority say they'd be likely to vote for Clinton."

Read the fine print, dear readers.

A whopping 29% say they'd be VERY likely.

The story also mentions that she was "slightly ahead" of Algore at the same time in his attempt to win the Presidency. Boy, and Algore sure set the polls on fire, didn't he?

Perhaps what's the most telling to me about this poll and it's complete lunacy compared to the headline:

"Significant differences by age. Two of three voters under 30 were likely to support her, compared with fewer than half of those 50 and older."

Now, I think we all know that the youngsters do not vote in nearly the same proportions as the old timers do. Throw in the disproportionately high number of baby boomers vs. the young kids, and I think it doesn't bode well for the good Senator.

That, and she's a bitch and everyone knows it.

Turmoil as Chirac plots to disregard 'non' vote - World - Times Online

Ahhh, ze French. You gotta love em.

One of the many reasons the EU is doomed to fail.

27 May 2005

Happy Birthday!

Happy 50th Birthday JR!!!

Now you can shoot in the Senior division!!

Thousands rally in Pakistan in new protests over Koran abuse report - Yahoo! News

Note to Muslims who might be upset worldwide:

Get over it.

If your God is the God you would like to believe, then anyone who desecrated your holy book will burn in hell. I think Allah can handle that, don't you?

Or, do you just need an excuse to act like an asshole?

Doctors' kitchen knives ban call

Just when you think we've got it bad here in the states, you can always rely on the liberals in England, Canada, or Europe to bail you out from an otherwise bad day.

Here's a news tip - how about giving the honest, law-abiding folks the ability to defend themselves???

It'd never work, it's just too simple a solution.

Vital clues over 'Piano Man'

This strikes me as a real life Bourne Supremacy type thing.

Maybe he'll figure out who he really is after running around England with a beautiful lass being chased by MI-5 and the CIA?

26 May 2005

Texas Family Finds Baby Opossum in Toilet

Yessir, nothing says lifetime emotional scars for children like wild animals in your toilet. And just for the record, it's "possum."

24 May 2005

Minnesota Company Closes Texas Tortilla Plant

Welcome to Texas. Now go home.

Just like "Dave's Famous Barbecue," also from Minnesota. The most awful so-called "barbecue" I ever assaulted my mouth with. If by "famous" you mean "soaked in salt like so much pork in a barrel of brine," then yeah - it was famous. It was also crap. I predicted they would last no more than 6 months here. They lasted 3 months.

Minnesota-made tortillas? No es bueno por ca-ca.

Voice of Tony the Tiger dead at age 91

Dang. Two icons of my youth dead in the same week. Good thing I'm not getting any older...

Geez. I couldn't think of a smart-ass remark for this one.

23 May 2005

National Masturbation Month Reaches Climax On May 28

This year marks the 10th anniversary of National Masturbation Month and while most people will “celebrate” in private, organizer and sex expert Dr. Carol Queen expects at least 100 self-proclaimed self-lovers will gather in San Francisco for a hands-on charity event benefitting the Center for Sex and Culture.
I hope somebody busts these nuts.

GOP gunslinging in D.C.

I really don't like the Christian Science Monitor. First off, the whole Christian Science cult deserves a good fisking, but I'm not up to that task. Here's where they're really tickin' me off: they're gun-control advocates. This editorial I've linked is a prime demonstration of the type of crap people have been brainwashed into believing. Vis-a-vis:
Apparently those of us living in the nation's capital are being denied our Second Amendment rights and, well, she's just trying to help.
This just in: you are being denied your Second Amendment freedoms. Washington, D.C. enjoys one of the highest gun crime rates in the nation. Any clues why? Hello? Anyone? Bueller?

The whole tone of this "editorial" is utterly condescending and completely anti-gun. It's uninformed, and filled with half-truths and out-and-out lies:
There's the fact that the courts have decided that laws like the District's, which prohibits handguns, aren't any sort of violation of the Constitution, so we aren't really being denied anything - that's probably why the senator and her friends aren't going to court to have the D.C. rules thrown out.
But wait, don't forget ignorance:
But perhaps the most confounding part of this proposal is this: why is the Republican Party, the party of states' rights, deciding that in this case the federal government should supersede the will of the people living in the District? When did the GOP suddenly become the party that believes the federal government knows best?
State's rights? Washington is unique in that, under the Constitution, Congress has ultimate say over how it is governed, even though the 563,000 residents have no senator and only a nonvoting delegate in the House.

Once again, it's just proof that anti-gunners will say anything to advance their misguided cause.

Gun control activist to auction off finger-cutting device

This is a story about an anti-gun activist who cut off the tip of his finger as a protest.
'When I did it, people said I was crazy,' said Gonzalez, a former Bridgeport city councilman. 'I wonder what they are saying now.'
Oooh, ooooh!!! I know the answer!

Still crazy. $50,000 is the price he's looking for. Unless that finger's a viable kidney, good luck, ya loony.

I actually visited the eBay auction and offered a comment. Within moments, I got a reply. Here's the exchange in it's entirety:
Dear JR,

You asked:
"I'll open the bidding if you'll use that thing on your head. Idiot."

Touche' man. Touche'