16 April 2005

Mouth to Pecker for Choking Chicken

It warms my heart to see what friends will do for each other.

15 April 2005

Woman reports apartment’s third burglary in five months

Can't make this stuff up, folks.

"Sometime between 7:35 a.m. and 4 p.m. Wednesday, someone entered an apartment on the 5300 block of East McKinney Street and stole several items.
According to a police report, the tenant said she was missing a game player, several games, a digital camera, a DVD player and several pieces of jewelry.
The resident said this is the third time her apartment has been burglarized since December. She believes entry is being made by using a key she leaves under the welcome mat."

For The Girl

A most unfortunate name

HoustonChronicle.com - Gun power: NRA should use its expertise to curb accidental shootings, violence

The Houston Chronicle makes me want to vomit.

This POS "editorial" is nothing more than mental masturbation by some anonymous anti-gun wonk at the Chronicle. I'll summarize by quoting the last line of the last paragraph:
While the NRA and its supporters have the unquestioned upper hand in this debate, they should consider what measures they can take or redouble in order to stem the rash of gun violence that recently has taken the lives or health of several Houston-area children.
They actually invoked the "think of the children" cliche'.

Moby Dick!

'We think they saw a whale which was for some reason feeling very happy. It reared out of the water, fell on to its back and they saw this thing that they assumed was a tail.' But he added: 'You wouldn't expect to see a whale in this state on his own.'
Indeed. Hey, it was 1734 - how many of those have you seen?

14 April 2005

The Book "meme"

I go through all winter without catching anything, and now I've caught something from JulieB: "I called you out for the "Book Meme" on my site. I'm hoping you will
step up to the plate since you are my only right wing victim! Check today's post: http://juliewithab.blogspot.com/ "

I'm going to think on who I'm passing this little gem on to while I sleep tonight...

But for now, here you go on your long awaited questions, Julie:

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?

This is an easy one. And I’m not going to pick a specific book, but an author. How’s about anything written by Danielle Steele? I was stuck once at someone’s house and the only book available to me was a Danielle Steele novel. After the third day, and only having managed to read the first chapter thanks to constant vomiting and nausea, I decided that I couldn’t take it any more and slit my wrists.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Negative. Being male, I need images to have any type of reaction. That’s why my early crushes were on SI supermodels like Carol Alt.

What is the last book you bought?

It’s been a while since I’ve actually purchased a book – I’m fortunate in that my friends let me mooch off them when they finish a good one. The last one I’ve so borrowed (thanks, Dan!) was by Stephen Hunter – Havana. It’s a continuation of the Earl Swagger collection, all of which I’ve enjoyed for some pure escapism.

What are you currently reading?

Just finished Garden of Beasts by Jeffery Deaver. Pretty good read. A tale of an American hit man who gets conned into traveling to pre war Nazi Germany to make a hit by a shady character in the US government. If he survives, he get some cash and let off the hook for some nefarious deeds done back in the states. There’s the ever present Car and Driver, Front Sight, and various gun catalogs lying around as well.

Five books you would take to a desert island?

Well, in addition to a sharp knife and a .22 bolt action rifle, hmmmmm.

1. The SAS Survival Guide. It’s an extremely valuable resource if you’re ever stuck on a desert island, or anywhere in the world for that matter.
2. The Odyssey. It never gets old.
3. Myamoto Musashi’s Gorin no shô, aka the Book of Five Rings. I learn something new each time I read this fantastic work, and it has been an asset to me throughout my shooting career.
4. Any decent atlas of the night sky. Figure I’ll have plenty of opportunity to study the heavens on my island.
5. Tom Clancy’s Without Remorse. I like John Clark. He’s an interesting character, and like him, I hate druggies. Remorse is one of Clancy’s best in my opinion – he doesn’t get bogged down in all the technical babble that seemed to plague his later books, and he really allows you to get close to Clark.

KFC Manager Douses Animal Activists

Dear PETA,
I'm meat. Eat me.


I just got a new mainboard for my pc at home, which was suffering mortal problems. Along with the mobo, there was a disk that includes drivers and programs. One of the programs is ProMagicPlus. Before I installed this software, I thought I'd take a look at their website. What I found was pretty hilarious, as the site is pretty much a lesson in Engrish. As they say at wasay.com:
Make you every step steady easy!

An Humorous Anecdote

A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in a small town in West Texas.

He sits at the counter and notices an older cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a bowl of chili. After about 15 minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks, "Hey, if you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner states "Nah, go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.

He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a rotten dead rat in the chili. The sight is shocking, and he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yup. That's as far as I got, too."

13 April 2005

Spears Reveals Pregnancy on Her Web Site

See, you vultures? Britney's not fat, she's knocked up. Now get back to work.


Britney and Cletus have made it official. She is pregnant. If you want a daily update from her fetus, this is this place to get it.

11 April 2005

Quest to get a Republican to fight DeLay may have crossed a line

I've said it before on the pages of the Tattler and I'll say it again: If DeLay is guilty, he'd better get the hell out now.

However, this is looking more and more like a concerted effort to get rid of DeLay, plain and simple.

Take the constant onslaught of the media, particularly CNN and the NYT. Take the same media outlets, and observe how they have totally ignored the recent problems that have plauged Chucky Shumer, Hillary Clinton, and Nancy Pelosi. Each have recently been slapped on the wrist for massive ethical violations themselves, yet we hear no word of it. Why is that I wonder?

My Way News

Disclaimer - I'm not Catholic. Hell, I don't belong to *any* church! But I've had about enough of the Catholic bashing the mainstream media seems intent on forcing down our throats. It seems as if the worst thing in the world to be is either a Christian or a Jew.

I can't fail to point out the irony, however. I don't seem to recall anyone in the media jumping on the "bashing islam" bandwagon. No bashing of the manner islam treats its women. I don't seem to recall anyone asking the islamic imams when they'll let women become priests. I can't recall anyone asking the imams when they'll stop the practice of issuing fatwahs against just about everyone else in the world. I don't remember hearing anyone sticking a microphone in the face of an islamic holy man and asking him what he thought about hacking off the heads of innocent prisoners.

However, the poor Catholic church, which wouldn't moderate *it's* position on abortion, female priests, gay marriage, blah blah blah becomes the whipping boy de jour.

Yahoo! News - Jackson Begged to Sleep with Boy-Child's Mother

Crikey. Anyone else sick of this soap opera? I'd be willing to pass on the rest of the trial, we can just declare that MJ is a total freak, an oxygen thief, and lock him up in house arrest in his oxygen chamber for the rest of his life where he can't molest any more young boys or make any more music to molest the rest of us.

Something Awful

If you don't read Something Awful, I'd like to recommend it. I've been a fan for years now, and while it has some questionable content and a bunch of silliness, it provides a valuable public service: making fun of things on the Internets. However, it's not all fun and games, as this link shows. Last week, they made fun of (drumroll, please) THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR. Apparently, this was a bad idea, and the craziness that follows is documented in the link above.

Dean's formula: Jesus, balanced budgets, gun neutrality

Let me summarize Howard Dean's new Democratic Party: be everything to everyone. Howard needs a history lesson, and I'll quote Abraham Lincoln.
"You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time."
Yeah, Lincoln was a Republican, but he was a uniter of parties. He even got Northern Democrats to rally to the Union cause.

Democrats wouldn't know about that sort of thing.