Wheelchair Assault

Yet another reason I'm glad I'm not a cop. I don't know that I could have taken this report without laughing my ass off..... From the Denton Record Chronicle (registration required, so I copied it for your convenience.)

Retirement home resident reports wheelchair assault
07:16 AM CDT on Friday, July 28, 2006

Staff report

A 72-year-old woman told police Wednesday that another elderly woman rammed her several times with a wheelchair. The victim said she walked out to the mailboxes of her retirement center in the 300 block of Coronado Street to pick up her mail and also collect mail for another resident. The other woman rolled up in her electric wheelchair and told her to get out of her way, the victim said. She told the woman she would move as soon as she collected her friend's mail. The other woman powered up the wheelchair and rammed into her, she said. Then she backed up and rammed her twice more. The victim told her to stop and an argument ensued. The victim turned the suspect's wheelchair in a different direction to avoid being struck again, but the suspect turned it around and hit her one more time. This assault occurred a few months ago but she waited to file a police report, hoping to settle the problem through the retirement community, but had no success, she said.

Donna Fielder
Denton County Crime Stoppers will pay a reward of up to $1,00for informationon leading to arrests in these or other crimes. Callers will remain anonymous. Call 1-800-388-TIPS (8477).

Strippers plan trip down New Braunfels river

So, ah...weren't we planning on a team trip down the Guadalupe, Blanco, or Comal river? I think we should revisit that idea...

Spammers

I hate spammers. I hate their every incarnation. Today, I'm hating one in particular, because he's invaded one of our Yahoo Groups to advertise his world-record attempts. What's he attempting, you ask? Hot-dog eating? High-jumps? Having 70 virgins slap his ass non-stop for 12 hours? No.

Now i am preparing for next world record of 101 hours marathon typing on a computer on 10 august 2006 in lal bahadur indoor stadium.

Seriously, who gives a red monkey butt about that? He's that kid who goes to jump off the diving board and screams, "hey, MOM! Lookit ME! Lookit ME, MOM!!," until everyone in the pool yells at the mother to "LOOK at him, before we all KILL him!" He's not even trying to sell me anything (oh, wait - need to buy some insurance?), but he's asking me to validate his paper-rocket-making, marathon-typing life?

And don't get me started on all the other email spam I get. Apparently, it's no longer enough to get English-language crap, but now I'm getting Spanish, Russian, and Thai(!) spam, written in the native gibberish that I've no desire to even attempt to decipher. If I need Vietnamese-produced bird-flu anti-viral medicine, guess what? I'll go to my doctor and ask for LEGAL drugs. Here's an example from an email I got today:

* єШ¤¤Е·СиЗд» ¤иТНєГБ 2,950 єТ·
* КБТЄФЎ Zolito Coffee Club ¤иТНєГБ 2,650 єТ·
К№гЁКНє¶ТБўйНБЩЕаѕФиБаµФБдґй·ХиЛБТВаЕў 02-715-0801-3 ЛГЧН
Info www.zolito.com

Coffee Club?

The death penalty for spammers. Make it so.

'Disabled' fans ejected for dancing

At first I thought this was just another funny headline, but it gets better.

Three Argentinian football fans were thrown out of their team's World Cup clash with Holland for pretending to be disabled. The fans bought wheelchairs and then bought special cheap tickets reserved for disabled fans to get into the match. But their ruse was discovered when one of the trio got carried away by the game and started jumping up and down.

That's genius, but the funniest thing is this...

"Our friend couldn't stop jumping and a person near us thought there was a miracle happening."

Tailor-made condoms

Individually tailored condoms that are anatomically designed to fit each penis perfectly are going on sale in Germany.

Thanks goodness, those Magnum condoms I've been using are really tight.

Gothe said: "These condoms will fit so well you will hardly notice you are wearing one. We can make them wafer thin or fist thick and 'engrave' them with your signature wrapped around the base."

Fist thick?

Men Assume Sexual Interest When There May Be None

Here's an article that I'm sure the ladies here will get a kick out of, whereas I think it's a lesson in overtly obvious over-generalization, based on social norms established by one's environment. More succinctly, it's a bunch of plain-as-the-nose-on-your-face BS. Who gets paid to say crap like this?

Levesque doesn't know why all the men in the study seemed to over-sexualize women, but he speculated that "it's got to be something about socialization, that men are being taught in some way to view women as sexual objects."

Well, I think that's mostly a load of crap. It might be that some men have a somewhat inflated self-image, sure. Or is it that men tend to be horn-dogs?

"If he found her to be physically attractive, he would tend to rate her as sexier," he said, adding that other studies have found the same over-sexualization effect and that men give physically attractive women higher marks for sexiness.

Oh, wait. Maybe, just maybe, it's because some men think of sex more than women.

I've got only this to say:

3 NYC Cops Shot in Friendly Fire Incident

This is why the infamous Glock "New York" trigger was invented:

Three police officers were accidentally shot Sunday as one or more officers took aim at a pit bull attacking a member of their crew, police said.

Evidently, no sort of firearms training is required in New York, so they try to make the guns safer. Guess that didn't work, either.

Prepared to astronauts them die

Another fabulous headline from Australia. WTF?

Wonder if they'll fix it before this gets all around the world?

Shooting, part deaux

Quick stage from the match today at Elm Fork; about the only stage I ran worth a crap today. If you ever work or MD a match, you pretty much are going to get hosed and today was no exception... But, that's just part of the deal and it's the least I can do to give back to the sport that entertains me so much.

Shooting???

Finally, something shooting oriented!! Here's a stage from Wichita Falls yesterday....