20 May 2004

Look out for suicide bombers!

This is helpful. It was 90 degrees today in Texas. Naturally, if I see someone wearing a big, bulky jacket, I'm gonna run up and see if he smells of chemicals, and see if he's got wires trailing from his jacket. According to this good intel, if the person has tightly clenched fists, there could be detonator. By the way, don't shoot him, because it might be a dead-man switch.

IF I see someone wearing a heavy jacket on a 90-degree day, I will:
a) think he's crazy
b) not go near him
c) shoot him if he needs it
d) all of the above

Correct answer: d

Tip for terrorists: don't come to Texas. We carry guns, and some of us are pretty good with them. I can hit you in the head from a distance that won't get me hurt. Have fun in "paradise," and tell all those hairy-legged, smelly "virgins" I said hey.
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