Hurricane Rita (aka George W. Bush) is on track for the southern Gulf Coast of Texas. She was heard to be muttering, "I hate Texicans."
I'd like to ask America help us now. Please send $2000 ATM cards to email@example.com. I promise we'll be responsible, and only use the money for guns and ammo.
This whole global warming thing is kinda stinky, too. I think we should blame...um...PETA! If it weren't for all the cows generating methane, we wouldn't have greenhouse...um...stuff. And the bird flu. And stuff.
Seriously. Al Sharpton says so.