Dear Mr. 50 (or is it Mr. Cent?),
This is an open letter that you could consider as an offer for me and my friends to help you out. Personally, I've never shot up an armored vehicle, but I've shot plenty of regular ones. Between the 6 of us on this blog, I daresay we've put a few hundred rounds through various cars and trucks, both on purpose and accidentally (oops).
Please drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org, and we'd be happy to get you fixed up.
The Texican Tattlers