13 June 2004

Saudi authorities hunt for missing American

Seriously, if you're gonna be over there, jot down these useful expressions:

AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOFTAN - Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.

FEKR-GABUL CARDAN DIVAT RAEH CUSH DIVAR - I'm delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.

SHOMAEH FIKR TAMOMEH GEH GOFTEK BANDE - I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life

AUTO ARRAREGH DVATEMAN MAMO SEPAHEH-HAST - It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car.

FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAAYEH MOHEMA RAJEBEH KESHAVARHMAN - If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my couintry in public

KHREL JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEII AMRKAHEY - I will tell you the names and addresses of many american spies travelling as reporters.

BALLI, BALLI, BALLI - Whatever you say

MATERNIER CHERMEZ AHLIEH, GORBAN - The red blindfold would be lovely, excellency.

TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM - The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I must have the recipe.

ETEHFORAN, DEHRATEE, OTAGEH SHOMA MIKRASTAM KHE DO HAFTAEH BA BODENEH SHEEREEL TEEGZ - Truly, I would rather be a hostage to your greatly esteemed self than to spend a fortnight upon the person of Cheryl Teigs.

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