DEA Agent Who Shot Self In Foot Sues U.S.

I think Dan originally sent me this video a year or so ago. If you haven't seen it, This DEA agent is standing in front of a class full of children during a drug education program. He pulls his gun out and clears it, or so he thought. He then confirms that the gun is empty by showing it to another officer. Then he claims boldly that he is holding a Glock .40 and is the only person qualified to use it. Then he shows how qualified he is by immediately shooting himself in the foot.

The accident was filmed by an audience member, and the tape, Paige claims, was turned over to the DEA. The drug agency subsequently "improperly, illegally, willfully and/or intentionally" allowed the tape to be disseminated. As a result, Paige--pictured above in a still from the video--has been the "target of jokes, derision, ridicule, and disparaging comments" directed at him in restaurants, grocery stores, and airports. Paige, who writes that he was "once regarded as one of the best undercover agents, if not the best, in the DEA," points to the clip's recent airing on popular television shows and via the Internet as the reason he can no longer work undercover. He also notes that he is no longer "permitted or able to give educational motivational speeches and presentations."

This dumbass deserves all the ridicule he gets. His Glock did not "Accidentally" go off. It was negligently discharged and he and everybody in the room as well as their loved ones should thank God every day that he was the only one injured by his negligence. If my son had been in that classroom when that gun went off, there would be hell to pay.

Iraq's Beauty Queen Resigns After Four Days

Miss Iraq shown here during the swimsuit portion of the pageant.

On April 9, the 23-year-old, who was the first Armenian Iraqi to win the Miss Iraq pageant, announced her resignation after receiving threats by a group of religious extremists who referred to her as "the queen of infidels" for participating in the contest.
Pageant organizers had hoped to pass the crown to the runner-up..... However, the second and third runners-up also withdrew from the competition for security concerns. They had not received specific threats.
The pageant organizers are hoping to send the winner to the Miss Universe pageant in an effort to promote a positive and modern image of Iraqi women.

The scariest article I've read in a while

Got this in the mail this morning. It's the spookiest thing I've read in a long, long time. It's got a little bit of sci fi, and a lot of history in it. The question to me is, are we going to learn from our history, or will we be doomed to repeat it?

As a sample:

I’d never heard the word and I told him so. “Then get off your ass and Google it,” said the Time Traveler, his one working eye glinting with something like fury. “Dhimmitude. You can also look up the word dhimmi, because that’s what two of your three grandchildren will be called. Dhimmis. Dhimmitude is the system of separate and subordinate laws and rules they will live under. Look up the word sharia while you’re Googling dhimmi, because that is the only law they will answer to as dhimmis, the only justice they can hope for . . . they and tens and hundreds of millions more now who are worried in your time about invisible abridgements of their ‘civil liberties’ by their ‘oppressive’ American and European democratically elected governments.”

It's damn spooky, and if you think it can't happen, you're an idiot. I strongly suggest you give it a read and then think about it for a bit.

Have you got the definitive derriere?

A scientist has figured out how to calculate the perfect female butt.

The magical figures are (S+C) x (B+F)/T = V. Though the equation looks rather complicated, it is, according to the scientist, simple.

Personally, I think he's pulling these figures out of his ass.

S is the overall shape or droopiness of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness.

V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

I just love it when science is used for practical applications.

Bush 'is planning nuclear strikes on Iran's secret sites'

The Bush administration is planning to use nuclear weapons against Iran, to prevent it acquiring its own atomic warheads, claims an investigative writer with high-level Pentagon and intelligence contacts.
President George W Bush is said to be so alarmed by the threat of Iran's hard-line leader, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, that privately he refers to him as "the new Hitler", says Seymour Hersh, who broke the story of the Abu Ghraib Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal.

Feelings, nothing more than feelings....

I tend to think of myself as a fairly rational, non feeling individual. It's not that I don't have feelings, it's that I don't lead my life by what I'm feeling. It always cracks me up to hear someone tell me how they "feel" about something rather than what they "think".

Now, that being said, at Wednesday's match this week, I was ruled by my feelings on the first stage of the night. Allow me to explain....

The stage had you starting behind a barricade, and first engage a target at about 15-20 yards with 3 rounds. The target was "hiding" behind cover and you only had about 1/2 the upper torso to shoot at. After you engaged T1, as you moved forward to P2 (position 2) you engaged T2 on the move and when you reached P2, you engaged some more targets that were behind the barricade. At the buzzer, I engaged T1 with 2 rounds, and then milked the trigger (still getting used to the XD's trigger) and popped off 2 more rounds almost full auto. As I began moving to P2, it hit my conscious level from my bubbling subconscious that something didn't feel right about how the gun cycled and I looked down at the XD. Lo and behold, the gun was about 3/4 into battery, and I could clearly see the next round trying unsuccessfully to get into battery. Without slowing my movement a bit, I racked the slide, began to hit the brakes, set up for the shot on T2, took the 3 shots on T2 and finished the COF without incident.

Now, my point is not to talk about how great I am or to impress you with what happened. What made me extremely happy about that stage is that the whole incident took place without any serious thought process on my part. It was simply a feeling that I had that something was wrong. And the only reason I had that feeling is because at practically every opportunity that I have, I am either shooting, dry firing, or fondling a pistol.

THAT is why I train the gun so hard folks.

How hard are YOU training.

And oh yeah. You can never train enough.

Nude Britney Spears Giving Birth

A nude Britney Spears on a bearskin rug while giving birth to her firstborn marks a 'first' for Pro-Life.

The funny thing is, when I think about her getting pregnant I picture her in the same position, only she has an ashtray with a lit cigarette sitting on her back.

Pop-star Britney Spears is the "ideal" model for Pro-Life and the subject of a dedication at Capla Kesting Fine Art in Brooklyn's Williamsburg gallery district, in what is proclaimed the first Pro-Life monument to birth, in April.

Britney may be the ideal model for Pro-Life, but her husband K-Fed should be the poster boy for birth control.

LASIK@Home

That's right, kids! Don't waste a thousand bucks an eye on those darned doctors. Do it at home for only $99.95.

Looks safe to me. Really.

Maxim Cover of Eva Longoria Supersized

For Outlaw 13.

Rabid skunk attacks man in bedroom

This is more than just a great headline. I actually know this guy. I met Doc Chambless in Terlingua years ago, and we golfed together, with the other JR. The other JR is the one who forwarded this story to me. In fact, we golfed together several times. Heckuva nice guy, but as this skunk learned, you don't wanna make him mad.

The Perky one goes to CBS

Any doubt dear readers that the news media is only about entertainment?

The alleged move of the Perky One to take over the chair once held by Walter Cronkite and Dan Rather should come as no surprise - the nightly news is nothing more than an attempt to entertain us rather than a way to inform us.

Granted, Walter and Dan were never one to let the facts get in the way of their reporting, but at least their resumes were filled with actual journalistic endeavors, rather than a nice set of legs.

The Law Dog

Do yourself a favor and head over to the Law Dog Files. He's a north Texas Sheriff and his writing will make you spew Dr. Pepper all over your computer if you have a sense of humor at all....

As a tease:

Benny is the subject of several of my stories, along with his perpetually-pregnant wife, Jolene. Both of them were meek as churchmice -- until Benny got into the tequila. Which he did about once a month. Once he was good and liquored up, Benny would get depressed and attempt to off himself, but the traditional ways were never good enough for Benny. He'd lay down in front of a farmer's hay bailer, or chain himself to train tracks which hadn't seen a train in a hundred years, or try to drown himself in two inches of water. Which would lead to one of us -- usually me -- arresting the five-foot-nothing Benny for Fooblic Intoxidation. Followed by Jolene attempting to defend her husband and going beserk. Considering that Jolene was, as noted, usually pregnant and about 4 foot 8 inches tall, we usually attempted to avoid putting Jolene in jail. Not always successfully.

U.N. Notes Quick Spread of Bird Flu

Bird flu resurfaced in Asia in 2003 and has killed at least 108 people. It remains hard for humans to catch, but health experts fear it will mutate into a form easily spread among people, potentially sparking a pandemic.

Oh. My. Gosh. At least 108 people world-wide since 2003?

No fear-mongering or panic-pandering here.

I must assume that the world-wide pandemic of the common cold will soon be recognized for the race-exterminating killer it is any day now. How many people died from that last year? Or from drowning in buckets? Or from lightning strikes? Caramba.

Range Report

Some of our regular readers may recall that I purchased a Springfield XD40 Tactical pistol a few weeks ago. I haven't had time until this past weekend to start shooting it and I thought a report was in order.

Shot a local IDPA match Saturday, and ran 200 rounds through the gun at the match. Gun ran flawlessly with my home brewed minor pf loads - a 185g Precision (moly coated) bullet, being pushed by a whopping 3.3g of Tightgroup and a Winchester small pistol, magnum primer. Dropped a lot more points than I'm used to but didn't feel too bad about it as the recoil impulse and timing is very, very different from what I've been shooting lately. The load was very soft, and very easy on the hands. I suspected at the time it would easily make power factor (velocity x bullet weight must equal at least 125,000). About the only issue of very minor concern was that the brass was not ejecting very far, and was just falling within about 1 foot of the gun. I'll fix this shortly with a lower pound recoil spring which will be a good adjustment for the minor pf loads I'll be using in this gun.

Took the XD out to the range today for a little practice session and ran another 200 rounds through it. Again, using the same load, the gun ran flawlessly. Ran some simple drills to acquaint me with the pistol - triple 6's, 20 Alphas, some reload drills, and wrapped it up with some bill drills. Triple 6's are 6 rounds from 5 yds, 10 yds, and 20 yds, with a par time. Only A's count! 20 Alphas are 4 strings of 5 shots from 20 yds; par time again, and only Alphas count! Getting used to the pistol and as I progressed through the session, my hits were getting better and better. Last set of triple 6's I only dropped 1 pt, and the last set of 20 Alphas I only dropped 3. Times were within about 1/2 a second of where I am shooting my Limited gun and I wasn't pushing hard at all. More than the gun, shooting from a production rig is going to take some getting used to.

I think the only thing other than the recoil spring change will be a different set of sights - I'll put a pair of Heinies on it and call it a day. Can't stand the 3 dots that came with the gun and I've already blacked out the dots but I'm still not 100% happy with the sights.

Once JR overcomes my computer illiteracy and posts the short video I sent him, you can see the XD in action running a bill drill at about 7 yds in just a bit over 2 seconds with all Alpha hits. With some more practice with the production holster I feel pretty confident I can get the bill drill down to well under 2 seconds.
Here it is: Catfish shooting the Bill Drill...

Strip Club May Be Condos After Patron Photos Posted

Check out the lady (link above) protesting the nasty old strip club. She looks like an authority.

Reid My Lips

In the likely event you didn't see this on the news:

United States v. Reid — Final Statements by Judge Young

Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you.

On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences you to life in prison in the custody of the United States Attorney General. On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences you to 20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutive one with the other. That's 80 years.

On Count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years consecutive to the 80 years just imposed. The Court imposes upon you on each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 for the aggregate fine of $2 million.

The Court accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines.

The Court imposes upon you the $800 special assessment.

The Court imposes upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it. But the life sentences are real life sentences so I need not go any further.

This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes. It is a fair and a just sentence. It is a righteous sentence. Let me explain this to you.

We are not afraid of any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the fire before. There is all too much war talk here. And I say that to everyone with the utmost respect.

Here in this court where we deal with individuals as individuals, and care for individuals as individuals, as human beings we reach out for justice.

You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war. You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you a soldier gives you far too much stature. Whether it is the officers of government who do it or your attorney who does it, or that happens to be your view, you are a terrorist.

And we do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not treat with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists.

We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.

So war talk is way out of line in this court. You're a big fellow. But you're not that big. You're no warrior. I know warriors. You are a terrorist. A species of criminal guilty of multiple attempted murders.

In a very real sense Trooper Santiago had it right when first you were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where the TV crews were and you said you're no big deal. You're no big deal.

What your counsel, what your able counsel and what the equally able United States attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I know how tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific. What was it that led you here to this courtroom today? I have listened respectfully to what you have to say. And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing.

And I have an answer for you. It may not satisfy you. But as I search this entire record it comes as close to understanding as I know.

It seems to me you hate the one thing that to us is most precious. You hate our freedom. Our individual freedom. Our individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose.

Here, in this society, the very winds carry freedom. They carry it everywhere from sea to shining sea. It is because we prize individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom. So that everyone can see, truly see that justice is administered fairly, individually, and discretely.

It is for freedom's seek that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your behalf and have filed appeals, will go on in their, their representation of you before other judges. We care about it. Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own liberties.

Make no mistake though. It is yet true that we will bear any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms.

Look around this courtroom. Mark it well. The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here. Day after tomorrow it will be forgotten. But this, however, will long endure. Here, in this courtroom, and courtrooms all across America, the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done.

The very President of the United States through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged, and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.

See that flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United States of America. That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag still stands for freedom. You know it always will. Custody, Mr. Officer. Stand him down.

Prison Doc Accused Of Fondling Inmates Killed By Train

Once again, poor grammar strikes. Not a bad headline, though.

Thousands Of Pro Illegal Immigration Protesters Skip Work To Protest Immigration Reform Bill

I knew something was up this morning when I stepped out on my front porch and I couldn't hear a leaf blower running for miles. These people are protesting the laws of the United States regarding immigration. They don't give a crap about what illegal immigration does to the United States and the strain it puts on our Social Services and schools. The illegals don't care about coming here and assimilating to our way of life and how we do things here, like flushing the toilet paper they just wiped their ass with down the toilet instead of throwing it in the freakin' trash can. All they want to do is turn the United States into Mexico. You'd think they would look at what a F#cked up place Mexico is, and not want to ruin the place they are all moving to. Here in the Dallas area, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Ford pick-up truck that has a scorpion on the back window and a big decal of a rooster on the front doors. They are every where. Here's an idea, get a work visa, learn the language, and get some auto insurance, or get the hell out. As far as immigration reform goes, why the hell don't we just enforce the laws we already have on the books? We need to be rounding them up and shipping them out. People say they do the jobs that Americans don't want to do, but I think the market on those jobs is pretty much saturated. You can't drive past a convenience store here without seeing a bunch of out of work Mexicans just waiting for somebody with a trailer full of lawn mowers and leaf blowers to pick them up. I'm guessing we could pick up as many as we could every day and send them back, and there will always be enough here to hang the sheetrock. We have got to get serious about our border security. We need to build the fence, quadruple the size of our Border Patrol, round their wet back asses up and ship them back. Amnesty my ass. You can't reward somebody for successfully breaking our laws and getting away with it, especially somebody that has no respect for our sovereignty. Speaking of, why the hell is a baby of an illegal alien that is born here automatically a United Stated Citizen? That is one law I am all for reforming.
We had over a thousand students skip school here in Dallas to protest today. The DISD said that as long as they didn't cause trouble and returned on the district school buses they sent to the protest to pick them up when they were done, then there would be no repercussion. That's a great message to send these kids. Most of these kids are just opportunists that saw a chance to skip school and took it. One student said...

The Chinese built our railroads; we force the Irish to fight our wars; and now the Mexicans; we’re building your roads we are taking care of your children, we’re doing all these things for you… and then for you to oppress us now,” said Skyline High School Student, Jesus Alonzo.

Huh? I'm guessing Jesus skipped both English and History to attend the protest. I'm surprised the quote didn't have to be translated.

There are 99,000 Hispanic students in the Dallas school system, about 47,000 of them are in the category of being ‘limited English proficient’, which means a good number of them could very well come from families that have come the U.S. in some sort of illegal status.

Crazy Sanity-Challenged People and the Internets (Part III)

It's that time of the year again, kids, where we visit the Internets to see some of the insane diverse views of our world, and a few other worlds. And dimensions. And planes of existence. And planes that fly into buildings. This seemed like a good time for this redux, given the influx of abnormal visitors we've gotten recently. Shiny side out, kids!

I guess crazy people have been around for as long as there have been 'normal' people, but it wasn't until the advent of the Internets that I've had to put up with them. I mean, how often do you actually physically meet a bonafide loony and have them foist their nutty ideas on you, really? Never fear, though - a casual stroll through the web will avail you of all sorts of conspiracy theorists, wannabe superstars, and just plain old-fashioned whackos who now have a medium through which they can share their lunacy with the rest of humankind.

What's that you say? You don't know what I'm talking about? Be deprived no longer. Look, linger over their particular brand of whackiness, and don't forget to buy their products!

The New Physics. I guess the old ones were worn out. Let's take a look at this prophetic site:

Israel has promised to attack Iran before March 21, the new moon, Passover

Oops. This site is another fine example of shitty graphics, over-sized fonts, and generally lunatic ranting and raving about whatever apparently entered this person's festering psyche at the moment the muse struck him at the keyboard. But where are the physics??? Scroll about halfway down the page for the introduction, where you can learn about flying saucer physics! Neato.

Orbit is interesting. If by interesting you mean horribly confusing, rambling, incoherent psychotic rants about chemtrails, earthquakes, and those devil-worshipping Bushes. Actual headline:

UPDATE: 9-11 PLANES REMOTE-CONTROLLED BY A PLATFORM IN SPACE

Nope, nothing out of the ordinary here!

Armageddon Online. Can't tell yer megatsunamis from your pandemics without this site! Did you know a wave thousands of feet high will someday hit New York? It's on the Internets, so it must be true!

Swami Sananda - one of my all-time fave loonies, and the one whose ass I want to kick the most. An aggravating website resplendent with unwanted new-age music, horrible HTML and graphics, and lots and lots of pics of Swami Bananarama. He's the coo-cookiest, man. Update: looks like the site's a little smaller these days, but at least it has an enormous scary picture and some crappy new age music!

Think About It. Looks like someone is collecting loony sites. Nice hobby.

The Reptilians. Who are they really? Who really cares? This crazy person does. Buy her music!

Thule makes mincemeat of Mensa! An alliterative nutball. Cool.

Archure (it's a copyrighted name). Turn your speakers up for this one, kids! Archure's a musical genius. Just ask him. Let's face it, there's not that many musical geniuses writing MIDI music anymore. Mostly because it sucks. Visit the Music page and be amazed! Pure genius. My ears are bleeding from the sheer pleasure.

Crystalinks. Ellie Crystal's a psychic! Neato! She got abducted by aliens! Sweet! She's from Brooklyn! ick. Craptacular site.

Infowars.com - Alex Jones hates everything, apparently. Especially the government. Conspiracy! Conspiracy! Update: make sure you read about Charlie Sheen's opinion on 9/11, because we should all listen to substance-abusing actors when it comes to matters of state.

Jeff Rense must have the same water supply as Alex Jones. Mercy. If the volume of crap you put out equals truth, Jeff is the mullet-wearing man!

I've noticed a disturbing trend with most of these sites - a complete lack of visual acuity and any taste whatsoever. They have dozens of pages, and each page is about a mile long. It's called "hyperlinking," people. Use it. Don't believe me? Take a look at DREAMS OF THE GREAT EARTH CHANGES. Cover your eyes, then use the scroll wheel on your mouse. A lot.

This is making me tired, and that means the rays are taking control of my mind. Must...get...rest...sleep...consume...reproduce....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Rescued "christian" Peacemaker Teams speak out

"We believe that the illegal occupation of Iraq by Multinational Forces is the root cause of the insecurity which led to this kidnapping and so much pain and suffering in Iraq. The occupation must end."

Not one single word of thanks to SpecOps for liberating their stupid, inconsiderate, naive asses.

These people are a waste of salt water, and don't deserve to lick the boots of the soldiers who freed them from a certain death. Should've left them to have their heads hacked off, because they deserve it.

Pigeon Panic: Gun Reports Prompt Downtown Lockdown

This one is special, just for Dan!

Those guys from Pittsburgh sure are tough! They sure got excited over a pellet rifle!

Mr. Cat - you'd better be careful with that new vundergun....

Game ON!

The whole crew will be out kicking ass and taking names this weekend.

First monster match of the year, and I know I've been looking forward to it since last year's inaugural Championship.

Heading to the range Friday to check out the stages in person and watch some of the big dogs shoot. Yeah, it's not very "street" tactical to do it that way, and it'll probably get me killed in real life, but it's a smart thing to in this case....

More Gun Porn

I got my Rock Ranch Custom pistol back from Virgil Tripp at Tripp Research the other day and thought I'd share. For those of you that don't know, Tripp does the finest hard chroming on the planet. He is also one hell of a gunsmith. He chromed every part on the gun except for the grip, trigger, and sights. The gun is beautiful. In a couple of weeks I'll have another gun to share. I'll be getting my Open Gun that Virgil is building me. I feel like a kid right before Christmas.

Virtual Bartender 2

The original Virtual Bartender post was one of my favorite all time Tattler posts. Virtual Bartender 2 is twice the fun, because this time there are two girls. Ask and you shall receive!
While you are there, visit the original. She is still as hot as she ever was.

Man sentenced for ride-by bottom slap

A Colombian man has been sentenced to four years' house arrest for slapping a woman's bottom as he rode by her on his bicycle, sparking debate on whether the punishment fit the crime.

Don't slap behind if you can't do the time.

GET SOME!

Volkswagen Removes Billboards From 3 Cities After Complaints

Volkswagen said Friday it will remove billboards in New York, Los Angeles and Miami after receiving complaints that a word used in an advertisement was offensive to Hispanics.
The ad for the new GTI 2006 had a photo of the sports car accompanied by the words "Turbo-Cojones." Cojones, which means testicles in Spanish, has become a casually used term for boldness or guts in English but has never lost its more vulgar connotations in its native language.
The billboards will be replaced with two ads, with one saying "Here today, gone tamale" and the other "Kick a little gracias."

Actor Charlie Sheen Questions Official 9/11 Story

Actor Charlie Sheen has joined a growing army of other highly credible public figures in questioning the official story of 9/11 and calling for a new independent investigation of the attack and the circumstances surrounding it.

First off, I don't see how anybody could type this and take themselves seriously. For some reason when I think of credible public figures, Charlie Sheen doesn't come to mind.

"It seems to me like 19 amateurs with box cutters taking over four commercial airliners and hitting 75% of their targets, that feels like a conspiracy theory. It raises a lot of questions."

Brilliant! It was a conspiracy, you idiot. It was a conspiracy planned and committed by terrorists. Why is it easier for some people to believe that our government is responsible for this act instead of Al Qaeda?

"There was a feeling, it just didn't look any commercial jetliner I've flown on any time in my life and then when the buildings came down later on that day I said to my brother 'call me insane, but did it sorta look like those buildings came down in a controlled demolition'?"

Okay, you're insane. Last weekend in Fort Worth, the tallest building in downtown was destroyed by a controlled blast. The building collapsed inward and the only damage to the surrounding structures were a few windows were broken out. Now, take a look at that picture. How can somebody look at that picture and think that it is an implosion? Debris rained down over a large area destroying building 7 and damaging others to the point they had to later be demolished.
Sheen goes on to talk about the plane that hit the Pentagon.

Sheen outlined his disbelief that the official story of what happened at the Pentagon matched the physical evidence.
"Show us this incredible maneuvering, just show it to us. Just show us how this particular plane pulled off these maneuvers. 270 degree turn at 500 miles and hour descending 7,000 feet in two and a half minutes, skimming across treetops the last 500 meters."

This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. If the government wanted to pull this off to start a war, why in the hell would they fly a plane into the place that is home to the Department of Defense?

Charlie Sheen joins the rest of his great family and notably his father Martin Sheen, who has lambasted for opposing the Iraq war before it had begun yet has now been proven right in triplicate, in using his prominent public platform to stand for truth and justice and we applaud and salute his brave efforts...

I knew that Charlie Sheen was a total moron, but now we also know that the nut doesn't fall far from the tree. He is as big a kook as his father.

rahoi.com

Heaven help me, I do love me some Engrish.

And honestly, can you find a decent Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole anywhere in Texas?

Gun prOn!

Been a bit since we posted any cool gun pics. I thought I'd take this opportunity to welcome the newest member of the Catfish family to the world.... drum roll please.....

As the Finance Minister has declared that our Home Defense Budget cannot sustain any growth this quarter in order to continue the entitlements our 4 legged constituants have come to expect, I had to part ways with my previous XD which was a "duty" model in 9mm. Heckuva nice gun! The new gun is a full size "tactical" model in .40 S&W.

Since I plan to make an assualt on the USPSA nationals this year, and again, the Finance Minister says no way in hell can I drop 4 grand on an Open gun like other esteemed members of this blog... I'll be shooting this "tactical" model in Production class at nationals....

In addition, I can shoot her in ESP in IDPA-land if I so choose, and make some nice powder puff loads that chrono about 132pf that should really piss off some of the mall ninjas; but hey, all I have to do to get back on their good side is point out that my slide actually says "Tactical" on it!!

Got the package deal that included the gun, two mags, a double mag pouch and a holster for about $435 at the Fort Worth gun show today. Picked up another coupla mags, and will need probalby two more; plus a few more mag pouches for Production - but I've got plenty of time to do that....

As soon as I can take her out to the range to make a range report, I'll let you all know how she shoots.

A Small Texan

An humorous anectdote from Uncle Bill in New Orleans. Apologies to little people everywhere...

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. He went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.

The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up on the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told him to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.

"Aha!" mumbled the doc, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked him to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.

The little guys was so scared, he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told him to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.

He was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his boys were no longer aching.

The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"

The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."

A star is born: Owens signs with the Cowboys

I was joking with my wife about this last night, saying I'd heard on the radio that TO had signed with the Cowboys. Little did I know at the time, but in a sure sign of the apocalypse, Owens is now a Cowboy.

There's no doubting that TO is a fantastic talent on the field. He is truly a gifted athlete. However, there is also no doubting that he has pretty much single handedly destroyed his last two teams due to his childish and selfish off the field behavior.

Had I been the one signing the checks, I would have signed him at the league minimum, with bonuses at the END of the year, and not the beginning for good behavior and solid performance.

Part of the gamble with Owens coming to Dallas is whether fans will embrace him. Many are still bitter about the September 2000 game when, while playing for the 49ers, Owens celebrated each of two touchdown catches at Texas Stadium by running to the team's star logo at midfield. Safety George Teague secured a spot in team lore by decking Owens after the second one.

I can't help but feel a sense of foreboding for the Cowboy's future on this deal.

Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

Ok, what I want to know is:

1. is one of the counts of aggravated assault based on this guy throwing his penis at the police?

2. which one of the new guys had to pick up this fellow's penis? I guarantee you it wasn't one of the veteran officers.

3. if someone throws his penis at you, does that justify a lethal response?

Flying Cow Leaves Two Police Cars in Flames

That's right - you're not going to see that headline in too many states. Where did it happen? Why, Texas, of course.

The story's pretty good, too:

Several cars hit some of the cows. One cow died. DPS troopers called for backup.

That's when one officer was nearly run down by a speeding truck, carrying two illegal immigrants inside.

Seguin Police were out looking for those illegal immigrants. They parked their cars in the hot grass, burning two of them including that brand new 2006 Crown Victoria. Watson said, "Well, all of a sudden, another officer who'd arrived on the scene, alerted the sergeant that there was a fire."

Freezer failure ends couple's hopes of life after death

Looks like the Mom and Pop-sicle's reanimation plans got put on ice. So to speak.

Bainbridge man charged with bestiality

Take a look at the picture in this article. I don't think she's that bad.

Testicle festival

The gonadologists will fire up their stoves at 10 a.m., judging starts at 11:45 a.m., tasting is at noon and results will be announced at 2 p.m., Aguilar said. Each participant will prepare about 20 pounds of mountain oyster fry, flown in from New Zealand, she said.
Awards will be presented for best overall taste, most creative use of
flavors, best booth, best first-time cook and best presentation.

My testicles are a sure thing to win overall taste and best presentation. You haven't lived until you've tasted my testicles!

Bomb dog's alert delays NCAA game

This is why you should always feed your dog before letting him sniff for bombs.

In a landmark law-enforcement action, a bomb-sniffing dog alerted on a hot dog stand. That's like putting Pimp Daddy in a strip club and telling him to look for suspicious-looking women.

Duh.

Georgia Senate to Fonda-Suck it!

Georgia Senate Defeats Fonda Resolution

Jane Fonda's 1972 trip to North Vietnam is haunting her again. The Georgia Senate on Thursday nearly unanimously defeated a resolution that would have honored the actress' charity work in the state. Fonda's political activities protesting the Vietnam War, including a trip to North Vietnam in 1972, have long made her a target of Veterans.
"I can think of no living American who is less worthy of this honor," Republican Sen. John Douglas declared. "She is as guilty of treason as Benedict Arnold and Tokyo Rose."

8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, Kansas - 1895

These questions are harder than Chinese Algebra.

But could a single one of these kids write a C# application to add 2 numbers together? I didn't think so. Not so smart now, are ya Walter?

Also, they're all dead now. Big fat lot of good passing this test did 'em.

Jessica Simpson snubs Bush

When I saw the headline I thought it was gonna be a story about her trimming her beaver. How disappointing.

Texas Carries Out Fifth Execution Of 2006

Texas carried out the fifth execution of the year Wednesday as a 31-year-old Dallas man was put to death for the 1997 murders of two women during a robbery outside of a theater.

Another story describes some of Hughes prior crimes before these murders.

During his trial, prosecutors presented evidence that Hughes had robbed three other people at gunpoint at a restaurant parking lot near the theater four days before. He was also indicted for the January 1996 slaying of Jaffar Ali, owner of a Dallas convenience store, during a robbery.
Hughes, who got a bad conduct discharge from the U.S. Marine Corps after a court-martial, was also accused by police of domestic violence against his ex-wife.

A while back, Dan and I saw a movie at this theater. As we walked to our vehicles, we talked about the crime. This was a totally random and senseless act of violence. It is exactly the reason I choose to arm myself. Because there are animals out there like this piece of shit, you need to be aware of what is going on around you at all times and be prepared to take action to protect you and your loved ones.

Erinkitola, 25, a Chicago native and a student at the University of Illinois, had been in the Dallas-area on a summer internship with GTE Corp. Mendoza, 29, originally from San Francisco, also worked for GTE. "They were very bright girls with tremendous futures ahead of them," said Toby Shook, who was lead prosecutor in the case for the Dallas County District Attorney's Office.

All this was caught on video surveillance and got a lot of play on the local news. These two friends were out to see a movie and were gunned down for what amounted to a little bit of money.

"He's such a cold-blooded psychopath that he deserves the fate that awaits him on Wednesday," Shook said.

Indeed.

CRIAG IS BEST BOND EVER, SAYS DIRECTOR

I don't recall a previous Bond director having to come out and talk about how great the new Bond is....

And you're probably wondering - just how's this new Bond so much better? We already know he can't drive a stick shift, can't shoot, can't swim, is afraid of speedy boat rides, can't fight, and he's very sensitive to the sun.

No, dear readers, it's not that the new Bond is a manly man. It's that he emotes.

Movie-maker Campbell defended the maligned star, insisting he gives a far more emotive performance than suave predecessor Pierce Brosnan ever could.... We show that Bond will suffer from emotional and physical pain.

Now that's what I want. A super spy with his finger on the button, saving the world from the evil villain with his emotions. I had an earlier discussion here at the Tattler on this topic and came to the conclusion that the new Bond was the image of the new Castrato - the new "man". If we're supposed to think that this bugger is the best Bond ever, it's going to take a bit more than because he has feelings to convince me. I mean, for God's sake, man - will the new Aston Martin come equipped with a special compartment for this ninny's tissue paper?

Thus far, I'm convinced the new Bond should be wearing a bra and panty set rather than saving the world.

Beer Guts Save Lives

I was checking out the Cathouse last night and read with great interest the Cat's thoughts on eating right and working out and staying in shape. As usual, the Cat was very persuasive and had many good points.

Then I remembered this article and frankly, became torn. I mean, it's for my own safety if I grow my beer gut any bigger than it already is!

Hell, I always knew pizza and beer were good for you.

Stop for Directions Foils Alleged Thief

This is the law of men: do not stop and ask for directions. This is what happens when you violate this law.

NBC 17 - News - Pregnant Mother Shoots, Kills Intruder

NBC 17 - News - Pregnant Mother Shoots, Kills Intruder

OK, riddle me this. And this is a very big problem I have with the MSM.

At what point is this idiot not a "suspected" intruder? These morons can't get over the fact that it's ok to NOT want to be raped, murdered, robbed, fill in the blank, in your own home. That a person may actually CHOOSE to defend themselves from violence. That dialing 911 is NOT the answer to all problems. Sounds pretty cut and dried to me.

Scum bag is looking into window, scumbag starts to try and force entry, scumbag is informed by resident that she doesn't want him to do that and she's armed, scumbag doesn't listen very well and ignores warning, scumbag exchanges gunfire with resident. But the MSM dumbasses still want to refer to him as a "suspected" intruder.

Hell, I say we give her some police issue ammo and a free membership to the shooting range of her choice! Somehow I can't help but think that if more if these idiots were lying cold in the morgue from encounters such as this, they would consider a different line of work. Or at least move to England or Australia.

(H/T to Tam for this one)

Fox Announces Major Mexico Oil Find - Yahoo! News

I say we make honest citizens of all of them, and just annex Mexico. Do we need a petition or something?

Dallas Trumps Houston On Enticing Gay Tourists

I'm certainly glad to see that tourists in our fair city are so happy.

Dallas officials said their gay travelers tend to spend $50 more per day than other travelers.

Hmmm...I wonder why?

Miss Deaf Texas Struck by Train, Killed

Witness Carlos Burgos told Austin television station KTBC that the train was sounding its horn right up until the time the accident happened.

Hecklers harass families of US soldiers killed in Iraq

When I read this headline, I was expecting a story about some flea bitten, long haired, pot smoking, anti-American, hippie, commie, pieces of shit that were protesting the war. What I read about was at least, if not more despicable.

Five women sang and danced as they held up signs saying "thank God for dead soldiers" at the funeral of an army sergeant who was killed by an Iraqi bomb. For them, it was the perfect way to spread God's word: America was being punished for tolerating homosexuality.

This is Fred Phelps and his minions at their finest. I have read tales of their protesting of abortion clinics by publicly displaying pictures of a torn up fetus in full view of young children or anybody else that happens to drive by. They protest homosexuality by showing up at funerals of gays with signs that say "God Hates Fags" and "God Wants Fags Dead". They cheered the terror attacks of 9/11 saying it was God's retribution for America's evil ways.
Now they are disrupting funerals of our honorable fighting men and women to protest homosexuality? What kind of sense does that make?
These people need an ass whipping of the highest order.

But it was the callousness and cruelty of harassing the grieving families of soldiers at dozens of funerals across the country that has sparked a grassroots movement of bikers determined to drown out the jeers and taunts. In Flushing, Michigan they turned their leather-clad backs to the five women and held flags and tarps up so that mourners walking past wouldn't see the signs saying "God hates fags," "fag vets" and "America is doomed."

Thanks God for these bikers. Whether you agree of disagree with how somebody has led their life, the dead deserve a little respect, and their grieving loved ones should be able to attend the funerals without having to put up with these assholes.
I really don't think our loving and merciful God would approve of this hateful behavior. After all, God is love.

Mystery of vanished "Buddha Boy" grips Nepal-REVISED

The weekend disappearance of a Nepalese boy whom supporters hail as a reincarnation of the Buddha has sparked a nationwide search.
Supporters have showered 16-year old Ram Bahadur Bomjan with money and gifts for allegedly sitting in motionless meditation in the roots of a pipal tree without taking food or water, or using the toilet, since May 16 last year.

I'm guessing he went to get a burger and take a leak.

The more I think about this story, the more I think this kid needs a good ass whipping, as well. Is this the laziest person in Nepal or what? Get off your ass and go mow the lawn!

The Best Blonde Joke in the world Ever!

Okay - last post for the evening (the Sopranos season premiere is tonight). Follow the link to a damned funny blonde joke. Don't know if it's the best, but it ain't bad...

Chief Wana Dubie

Well, ya gotta love Missouri politics. The best we can do in Texas is Kinky Friedman. For some reason, when I see this guy's picture, all I can hear is Tommy Chong's voice...

The Hip Hop Caucus?

For whatever reason (and believe me, that reason truly escapes me), I received the following e-mail this weekend. I'd just like to say: WTF? The Hip Hop Caucus? Would anyone venture to guess what color is the "color of change?" I gotta tell ya, boys and girls. I find this offensive, racist, political, self-serving, and plain old-fashioned stupid. Think I might miss the march, but it'll be interesting to see if this gets any play in the MSM.

Dear Friend,
This is Rev. Lennox Yearwood from the Hip Hop Caucus. You may also remember me from Russell Simmons' Hip-Hop Summit Action Network. I am humbly reaching out to you because we find ourselves at a critical juncture in history, and we need your help!

In the wake of Katrina, our government turned its back on a whole group of our people--tax-paying Americans who were left to die--and they're still being left behind today. With this in mind, I am inviting you participate in a major march in Washington, D.C. next Tuesday, March 14th, led by the Hip Hop Caucus, and the other organizations comprising the Gulf Coast Renewal Campaign. We will protest the continued FEMA evictions, call for the protection of voting rights for those who've been displaced, and call on Congress to pass legislation to restore the lives of those who were left behind to die during Hurricane Katrina.

Get Involved!

If you're in or near DC, please join us on Tuesday (details are below). If you're outside the area or can't make it, that doesn't mean you can't get involved and make a difference. You can plug-in online and join ColorOfChange.org, a partner in the Gulf Coast Renewal Campaign. ColorOfChange.org is using the Internet to build an online movement to empower all of us, and in particular black folks, to make sure our people don't get left behind again. To join ColorOfChange or read the ColorOfChange pledge, click here: http://colorofchange.org/h2c.html.

Tuesday, March 14th: March & Rally

Tuesday promises to be an energizing and historic event. We will join political and civic leaders, celebrities, and most importantly, survivors of Katrina and Rita from around the country who've been displaced from their homes. There will be speeches, music, and the ability to connect with others who want to do more to make sure the needs of the survivors are addressed. Here is the schedule for Tuesday. You can get updates and details at http://katrinamarch.org.

1-2 p.m. Press Conference, Rayburn House Office Building, Rm 2237
2-3 p.m. March for Justice from the west front of the Capitol to the White House (Closest Metro - Capitol South)
3-Midnight Rally, Protest and Vigil at Lafayette Square Park


Thank you so much for your time, and thank you in advance for doing your part to help--we appreciate all efforts. Together, we can take care of each other, hold our government accountable and make the injustice visible.

God Bless,
Rev. Lennox Yearwood
President and CEO
Hip Hop Caucus
http://www.hiphopcaucus.org

Shocking Surprise Inside Pinata

A porñata! Fun for the whole family!

Ronald S. Safer is a Liar

You know what sets anti-gunners apart from the rest of the populace? They hold no compunction against repeating the same lies over and again. Yes, they are bald-faced liars that repeat nonsense often enough that the weak-minded among us merely accept these lies as facts. Let's examine the theme of this diatribe:

But the killer had a big assist from Congress and our president. In 2004, those so-called public servants let lapse the federal law that banned assault weapons like the one that evidently killed Starkesia...
...It is now lawful for companies to manufacture, sell and distribute these weapons. And it is lawful for a person to buy an assault weapon if he or she is not a felon.

Why did the president and Congress allow these weapons to again fill our streets?

I don't know about you, boys and girls, but I legally bought my so-called "assault weapon" during the hated Assault Weapons Ban. These guns have never been illegal. What this filthy liar is doing is giving the impression that weapons that look like assault weapons are, in fact, assault weapons.

Read the article. Note how he regurgitates the lies from the Brady Bunch. Polls support gun control...police favor gun bans...hunter's rights (whatever the hell those are)...self-protection doesn't require an assault weapon...and finally, yep: what about the children? And building up to the big finale:

Those drive-bys are precisely what these semi-automatic weapons--many of them convertible to automatic--are designed to execute. They're efficient, capable of quickly spraying a broad area with lethal bullets. Anyone in that area--an intended victim or a bystander like Starkesia--risks extermination.

I'm a little disappointed he didn't use "bullet hose," but "spraying" is a good substitute. And don't forget the "lethal bullets."

And why did this happen? Why, because the NRA bribed Congress.

Watch this - I caught him in a lie:

What do NRA leaders have that corrupts these politicians? Votes? Absolutely not. Their members are decidedly in the minority on the assault weapon issue.

Get that? The voters support a ban on guns. Yet, in the very next paragraph:

They (the NRA) can withdraw the grease that lubricates the re-election machine of members of Congress. They can support a congressman's opponent with impressive resources. They are disciplined, single-issue-oriented and relentless in their opposition to anyone who has the audacity to suggest any weapon or ammunition controls be implemented.

Without saying it outright, he hangs himself on the fact that votes are what get representatives elected. This creates a dichotomy: how can both statements be true? The answer: they're not - it's just another lie.

If you wonder why we're constantly battling anti-gun legislation at every level of government, it's because of these liars and their unrelenting desire to deprive you of your rights. Don't buy it.

Flesh-eating germ kills woman in three days - Infectious Diseases - MSNBC.com

Holy crap!

Man Who Weighed 1,000 Pounds Down to 400

So, if he sees his penis, is it 6 more weeks of winter, or what?

When Deuel came to Sioux Falls for gastric bypass surgery in 2004, he weighed 1,072 pounds.

He was so large (how large was he? ...ed) his bedroom wall had to be cut out to extract him from his home. He was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance with extra-wide doors and a ramp-and-winch system that had to be dispatched from Denver.

Here's my favorite part:

has lost another 81 pounds in a surgery that removed a mass of fat and skin hanging from his midsection.
...The mass, called a pannus, made it difficult for Deuel, 43, of Valentine, Neb., to walk.

A pannus. It has a name. Is that kinda like a FUPA?

Motion Denied Because You're An Idiot

You gotta love a judge that quotes from "Billy Madison." Check out the footnote.

Oscars: Second-Lowest Ratings Since '87

In my non-scientific case study of determining just why the Oscars continue to have declining ratings, I have this to say to the Hollywood elites:

You suck.

I can count on two hands, with fingers left over how many movies I went to last year. The only two that I can actually remember seeing are Star Wars and King Kong. I'm sick and tired of you trying to tell me that your freaked out view of the world is the way it really is and I'm sick and tired of you trying to force your warped values on me every time I go out for a night of entertainment. It was bad enough in the Lethal Weapon series to have anti-gun propoganda stuffed down my throat, but this year's gay film fest was trying to stuff something down there that just wasn't going to happen.

"Sunday's Academy Awards with Jon Stewart drew an average audience of 38.8
million viewers, according to figures from Nielsen Media Research. That's down
8% compared with last year's show hosted by Chris Rock, and the second-lowest
tally since 1987. (The lowest was 2003's ceremony, hosted by Steve Martin, that
was marred by the start of the Iraq war; an average of 33 million viewers tuned
in then). In the key adults aged 18-49 demographic, the Oscars did a 13.9
rating, also down 8% compared with last year."

And PS:

George Clooney, you're an idiot.

Some Gitmo Prisoners Don't Want to Go Home

Holy Gitmo, Batman!

It would seem that some of the thugs we have detained in Gitmo know what real torture is and that whatever treatment they are getting now is a thousand times better than what waits for them in other parts of the world.

"If I am sent back to China, they will torture me really bad," said the man, whose name did not appear in the transcript. "They will use dogs. They will pull out my nails.... Home is China, and in China you disappear into a dungeon and no one ever hears from you again," said their lawyer, Sabin Willett. "These guys are not a risk to anyone. They should be released here."

More CNN failure to report

CNN's apparently too busy (as of 10:35 pm tonight) plastering stories about the crooked Republican Congressman (yes, he should have received more time as far as I'm concerned; he's an embarrassment to us all) and how the US was forced to release the names of prisoners kept as Gitmo (see my thoughts on those turds below) to report on something a bit more sinister and close to home.

Today at the University of North Carolina, an Iranian jihadist purposefully and deliberately drove a rented Jeep through a mass of students hanging out on campus. They weren't on the street, the weren't crossing the road - they were kicking back between classes.

I heard this story on the news on the radio this afternoon. You know what the lead point of interest was on ABC news? That an SUV drove into a mass of students. No word that an Iranian thug was behind the wheel. No word given whatsoever that this was a deliberate terrorist attack. Zip. Zero. Nada. Apparently, the evil SUV drove itself as they are apparently prone to do in the liberal's eyes. That is, unless they are being chauffeured around in one.

Now I want to ask you a question. What if, instead of an SUV driven by a crazed jihadist, this was an incident involving a white guy and a gun? Say some white kid at college got fed up with his grades and went on a shooting rampage? Think THAT would have made headlines?

Hopefully, the dickhead behind the wheel will be summarily executed as an example of what happens to terrorists in our country. I'm not counting on it, but that would be nice.

Bush arrives in Pakistan and is welcomed by riots

Now, wouldn't this be nice:

Local jackasses protest and otherwise make fools of themselves prior to and during a Presidential visit.

Said local jackasses' government happens to be the recipient of large, enormous, gigantic funding and support from the United States. Also, said local jackasses recieve massive amounts of aid from the United States in response to earthquakes, tsunamis, and other local disasters.

President returns home and immediately cancels any and all support for said country. Spend the money here in the United States, or at least have the common sense to give it to countries that support you and your policies.

I think we've made good headway in getting $30 million back from the terrorist Palestinians. I hope that's only a start.

More on the dead Enzo

Dude, something strange is afoot at the Circle K.

Force feeding = torture

Note to terrorist assholes. Yes, I'm talking to you punk - feel lucky that you are in Gitmo and that the 'fish isn't taking care of your sorry ass. After your measly brain has been sucked dry of any useful intelligence, out to the back of the barn you go and a bullet in the head you will get. Or, if I don't feel like wasting ammo on a turd such as yourself, then perhaps just hanging from the nearest tree by the neck until you are dead.

After which time you get fed to the pigs.

Stop bitching about your "inhumane" treatment in prison.

Air Support

Now this is how you should be fighing a war against radical Islam: with boobs!

Clancy must be patting himself on the back

I read this story this morning and all I could think was: "Didn't Tom Clancy write that book?"

Sheesh. It makes you wonder if anything else he's written has happened or not....

I'm Using teh Internets!!111

I was at the range the other day (pictured left: JR thinking), thinking about how I could save some money to buy more guns and ammo. I already have Verizon FiOS (that's fiber optic Internet service) that's pretty darned fast, and I read about Vonage. Called 'em up, axed a couple of questions, and next thing you know, my home phone is gonna be over the Internets!

For the cost of shipping ($16.45), I got my home phone service switched to Vonage, and they shipped me a LinkSys router/VoIP converter. I got it today.

I plugged it in, connected my phone base station to the outlet on the router, pressed the button on my phone, and started dialing and talking. It was literally that easy.

I phoned several of my peeps, and it was great. On Monday, my phone number switch to Vonage will be complete, and I will be a creature of the Internets. Vonage service has a bunch of cool junk, and I can monitor and configure my phone service on their website. I can even listen to voicemail, of which I'm notified via e-mail.

It's nerd heaven.

Happy Texas Independence Day!

On this day in 1836, Texas became a Republic. Disputed pseudo-factoid: By treaty with the U.S., the Texas State flag is the only flag in the Union that is allowed to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag.

The new Bond and the cult of the Castrato

Good God man. Could they have picked a bigger wanker for the new Bond? First, as mentioned here at the Tattler, the new Bond-boy gets sea sick and scared of his introductory boat ride. Then it comes out he's afraid of guns. In his first fight scene, he gets his teeth knocked out. And now, the poor lad gets sunburned and is "moaning to his assistants that he's got prickly heat."

What a puss.

Upon further reflection, however, I wonder if the new Bond is a sign of the times? The old Bonds - most notably Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan - were rough and tumble heartthrobs capable of doing whatever it took to get the job done; whether that job was to bed the foxy secretary of the evil villain to discover his secrets or to beat the snot out of a lower level bad guy to find out the location of the secret entrance. The old Bonds weren't afraid to shoot someone if they had to in order to complete the mission and they were capable of operating in any environment in the world.

Today's Bond looks like he has trouble wiping his own ass, can't fight, can't drive, can't shoot, can't swim and can't handle outdoor work. He strikes me as one of the new Castrato - neither masculine nor feminine, and unwilling or unable to offend anyone or take a strong position on anything for sake of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings.

The old Bonds were what every man wanted to live up to - strong, handsome, smooth with the ladies, tough and reliable in a pinch, and capable of solving his own problems.

The new Bond? He gets the prickly heat.

An Open Letter to Illiterates (a repost)

Okay, so semi-literates. Why? Because as a nation, our grammar and spelling is pathetic. We want people who live here to read, write, and speak English, but we can't use the language properly ourselves. So, as a service to all good Americans, I am now going to provide you with a brief grammar tutorial.

First off, let's address the difference between "loose" and "lose." If something is all dangly, or is easy to get into bed, it's loose. If you don't win, you lose. Moreover, the non-winner is the LOSER, not the "looser." If you lose something, it's lost. If you loose something, it's been set free. Got it?

Next, "to" and "too." I'll skip "two," because if you're that stupid, your lips are moving anyway - stop reading now. "Too" much of a good thing, not "to" much. "Let's go to the movies, and rob a 7-11, too." Is that too hard to understand?

Apostrophes. Why are they such a mystery? First off, there are contractions - the combination of two(!) words, like "there is" = "there's" and "are not" = "aren't." Next, we have the possessive versus contractive. JR's take (that's possessive!) on this is that people don't look at the context. Here's a simple test: if there's more than one, it's plural, and doesn't require an apostrophe. If the sentence mentions something that belongs to the noun, then it's possessive. "A shooter's ability is measured by shooting"(that's possessive). "There are reasons that shooters don't face each other when shooting." (that's plural). Here's a full rundown on plurals vs. possessives. Most of all, when it's plural, don't use an apostrophe. For example, when you have a cheesy sign made inviting people into the Smith's house, that's correct. However, your family is referred to as the Smiths, not the Smith's. Or, the bathroom is for "Employees Only," not for "Employee's Only." Employee's only what? Criminy.

Their, there, and they're:
There = at or in that place.
Their = the possessive form of they.
They're = the contraction of "they are."
They're there for their own reasons.

Here's another thing I see a lot, and this is a hard one, so pay attention: "its" is the possessive form of it. "It's" is the contraction of "it is" or "it has." If you can replace "it's" in your sentence with "it is," or "it has," then your word is "it's;" otherwise, your word is "its." There's no such word as " its' " A simple rule to remember: it's its, not it's!

Finally, your and you're is another one I see a lot, and the one that is most egregiously abused. I'm confused by this one, because it's really not difficult to keep the two straight. "You're" is a contraction of "you are." "Your" indicates ownership or possession. As in: "You're a sanctimonious grammar nazi and I hate your guts."

That's all for now. I feel better.

Don Knotts Dies at 81

Barney Fife, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, The Love God?, The Reluctant Astronaut, The Incredible Mr. Limpet, and oh, yeah, that unfortunate Three's Company thing. One of my favorite actors, and a guy who never apologized for being a character actor.

Is it cold in here, or is it just me?

In case you've not been keeping up, there is ONE sport worth watching in the Winter Olympics: curling. Seriously, if you've never seen curling, you're missing an amazing sport, resplendent with strategy, gamesmanship, and brooms. What's that? It's not a sport? Of course it is! Here's your proof:

Any doubt that curling has arrived was removed when the event was interrupted by a streaker.

During the fifth end break (curling's version of halftime and/or a seventh inning stretch), a large and not-too-muscular guy ran out across the sheet. Nothing on except for the obligatory online gambling ad and a strategically-wrapped rubber chicken.

I guess Golden Palace is at it again, which means: this is a real sport.

Holy Shiite Tomb Attacked

Now that's a headline! Where's Batman?

Another Captured Memo...


From: Bin Laden, Osama [mailto:osama@taliban.com]
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2001 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.

Love you lots.

Osama


Something you won't be seeing on CNN

H/T to Power Line and Austin Bay. Captured communiques between Osama and his thuglets tell a remarkable story that you won't see reported in the nightly news on CNN:


STOP RUSHING INTO ACTION AND TAKE TIME OUT TO CONSIDER ALL THE FATAL AND SUCCESSIVE DISASTERS THAT HAVE AFFLICTED US DURING A PERIOD OF NO MORE THAN SIX MONTHS. THOSE OBSERVING OUR AFFAIRS WONDER WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO US.
TODAY WE ARE EXPERIENCING ONE SETBACK AFTER ANOTHER AND HAVE GONE FROM MISFORTUNE TO DISASTER. DURING (TN: THE PAST) SIX MONTHS, IT HAS BECOME APPARENT TO THE OBSERVER THAT THERE IS A NEW HAND THAT IS MANAGING AFFAIRS AND THAT IS DRIVING FORCEFULLY; EVERY TIME IT FALTERS, IT GETS UP AND RUSHES AGAIN, WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING OR AWARENESS.
I SAY TODAY WE MUST COMPLETELY HALT ALL EXTERNAL ACTIONS UNTIL WE SIT DOWN AND CONSIDER THE DISASTER WE CAUSED. *** THE EAST ASIA, EUROPE, AMERICA, HORN OF AFRICA, YEMEN, GULF, AND MOROCCO GROUPS HAVE FALLEN, AND PAKISTAN HAS ALMOST BEEN DROWNED IN ONE PUSH. I, NOT TO MENTION THE OTHER INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE ALSO MOVED AND FALLEN, HAVE OFTEN ADVISED ON THIS MATTER. REGRETTABLY, MY BROTHER, IF YOU LOOK BACK, YOU WILL FIND THAT YOU ARE THE PERSON SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS BECAUSE YOU UNDERTOOK THE MISSION, AND DURING SIX MONTHS, WE ONLY LOST WHAT WE BUILT IN YEARS. DOES NOT THAT MERIT THAT WE PAUSE AND SIT DOWN, NOT TO SEEK JUDGMENT, BUT TO ~ REVIEW AND IDENTIFY THE ERRORS THAT HAVE BEEN BEHIND THESE DISASTERS AND NOT TO BLINDLY IGNORE THEM AND CONTINUE WHAT WE ARE DOING AND BECOME A JOKE FOR ALL THE INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES IN THE WORLD. MY BELOVED BROTHER, STOP ALL FOREIGN ACTIONS, STOP SENDING PEOPLE TO CAPTIVITY, STOP DEVISING NEW OPERATIONS, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER ORDERS COME OR DO NOT COME FROM ABU-ABDALLA (TN: BIN-LADEN). OUR ADHERENTS HAVE LOST CONFIDENCE IN US AND IN OUR ABILITY TO MANAGE THE ACTION, AND THEY WONDER, WHAT HAS BEFALLEN US.

We can't make this stuff up, folks

In today's Denton Record Chronicle:

Staff report

Denton police Tuesday completed an investigation into a shooting incident and added several charges to a list against the shooting victim. Timothy Paul Havens, 19, called 911 on Feb. 9 from his car on Interstate 35E, saying he'd been shot at a service station nearAlliance Airport and needed medical attention. He said he heard gunshots and realized he'd been hurt but did not know who shot him. He was treated for a gunshot wound to the leg. Officers impounded his car and obtained a search warrant. Hidden inthe car, they found a bag of marijuana, $2,200 cash and a revolver with two spent shells. Officers questioned him and learned that he lied about the shooting. He said he felt suicidal and tried to shoot himself in the chest in Denia Park but somehow missed. Then he tried to fire at the ground to see ifthe gun was working and accidentally shot himself in the leg. He admitted that he has been dealing marijuana, according to the police report. On Feb. 13, he was arrested on a parole revocation warrant. On Tuesday, charges of false report to a police officer, unlawfully carrying aweapon and possession of marijuana over 2 ounces were added.

Are people really that stupid?

Ferrari Shattered

Pictures of the crashed Ferrari.

Speaking of someone who needs to be shot

I'm at a loss for words. Guy tanks a Ferrari Enzo on an apparently drunken binge. I'm hoping that the cops beat his ass when they find out who was behind the wheel, then throw him down the stairs and then break a finger or two or three.

Crashing an Enzo. Sheesh. That should be against the law all by itself.

Risk of Robbery Raising Stakes Of Poker Nights

Now this is funny. The last time we sat around the table to play Texas hold 'em I think there were more guns than people at the table! A couple of us had brought in our ARs that had new stuff on em and wanted everyone to see the new toys.

I can't imagine the look of shock on the wanna be robber's faces at that poker night....

A Rant - .40 Caliber Controversy in IDPA

This was a big discussion over on the IDPA Yahoo Groups list, and there were several things that really steamed me about this.

First, I fully expected this to become a big deal, as we had discussed this very topic not 2 weeks before this all started. Why? Because it makes a slightly larger hole (the difference between 1 down and 0 down is small), and it's a different kind of recoil than 9mm (more of an impulse than a snap). Heaven forbid!

Now, if you load down to the power floor (125pf), it IS a bunny fart. However, I don't load down to the floor, and I don't know many who do. I use a lighter bullet, and the same amount of powder for IDPA (155g bullet over 4.1g TiteGroup). It chronos at 149pf. It's a sweet load, very manageable (as most .40 loads are), and (MOST IMPORTANTLY) extremely economical. Just by changing the bullet, I use the same setup for my USPSA load that makes 170pf. Very convenient.

Secondly, most of the boneheads bickering over power factors are pretty much the same Freudian "man" gun owners that think the world should be CDP. For the most part, they're stiff-legged marksmen that are spending a lot of energy trying to figure out why they're always getting beat. Must be the ammo. Right.

Third, the reason I shot 9mm for so long was that Blazer 9mm ammo was cheap (about $80/1000). As several of us found out last year at the Double Tap Championship (a USPSA major match), factory ammo ain't always the hottest. I recall my factory Blazer ammo not being able to knock down steel (as does Dan), and having them recalibrate the steel so we could get a reshoot. Once I got the Glock 35 (.40 caliber), and started shooting Limited, well, the economics of shooting .40 became hard to overlook. Compound that with the fact that Blazer ammo prices have apparently gone up a dollar a box, well, there ya go.

Fourth, did I mention reloading is cheaper?

Fifth, when presented with the FACTS from the rulebook (125pf is the RULE, and it can be measured with a chronograph!), these folks wrap themselves in the "Purpose" section of the rulebook that uses terms that are subjective at best. When someone presses for WHAT the power floor is, well, it's 125! Like I said, THAT can be measured.

Finally, and this is the thing that really gets me seeing red: there are divisions and classifications in IDPA. Most of these self-righteous protectors of the "spirit" of IDPA are no longer content to compete against shooters of like skill, using like weapons (gee, sounds like something in the "Purpose" section of the IDPA rulebook). They're seeing other divisions (ESP, mostly) that are faster than they are, and consistently faster than they are. Why? Well, it must be that cheater ammo. Either be content to compete against those in your class or division, or move to another class or division. Then, take your time and energy invested in complaining and go get some training!

Some have even proposed that we all use factory ammo. Have you priced self-defense factory ammo lately? Try about $1/ROUND! That would run many out of the sport right there.

You want a division for .40 caliber? Then make one. Until then, just go by the rules, and shut up.

Shooters in this sport need to spend more time quantifying their rules, and stop using "feelings" and "spirit" to justify their silly positions. I could never chronograph "spirit" anyway.

Ah, the good ole days...

I say this is a man's man! 84 years old and still scoping out the chicks!

"That's so goddamn dumb, I can't believe it," Schaefer said when asked about the appropriateness of his remark. "She's a pretty little girl."She "ought to be damn happy that I observed her going out the door," Schaefer said. "The day I don't look at pretty women is the day I die."

Amen brother!

Not looking good for the new Bond

First, the new Bond-boy gets the sheeit scared out of him in his introduction by the Royal Marines. Then he tells us that he's afraid of guns. Now he gets his ass kicked in a fight scene.

They never should have tossed out Pierce Brosnan.

Ten die in Libya cartoon clash

You know, we may be on to something here. Get the fundy Muzzies all fired up, then let them kill each other. Simple, yet effective.

These people do not belong in the 21st century.

Bush's Chat With Novelist Alarms Environmentalists

If you haven't read Crichton's A State of Fear, you really should. It does a very thorough job (and is a fairly entertaining read to boot) of confronting the eco-nazis and their whacked out views on the environment. I no longer have the book as it's being loaned out at the moment, but suffice it to say that every single theory put out there by the loony eco freaks is thoroughly debunked.

"This shows the president is more interested in science fiction than science," said Frank O'Donnell, president of Clean Air Watch, after learning of the White House meeting.

Yep, the book is indeed science fiction. It also has a huge bibliography and a significant amount of factual data supporting the premises of the book. It's frankly the eco-nazi's worst nightmare - an entertaining and educational look into the quack science of their goofy religion. The very title sums up the state of our society today - one in which the news media is an active player in creating a climate of fear over practically everything they report on.

Can't wait for the movie....

The Cavalier Daily - Shooting for gun control

Ladies and gentlemen, I present your collegiate moron of the week. Marta doesn't like guns - this much is clear. She thinks that the Violence Policy Center (aka The Brady Brunch) is a reliable source of shooting data. She says things like this:
A person can buy an assault weapon as easily as he can buy a rifle.
Amazing how uninformed someone can be, isn't it?

But wait, it gets better.
These wise men gave the right to own a gun to the people in order to maintain "a well regulated militia," which is "necessary for the security of a free State." The vast majority of gun owners today are not part of militias. Thus, the Second Amendment essentially is irrelevant to the question of whether or not stricter gun laws should be imposed. Americans cannot hide behind vague statements of the great men who wrote the Bill of Rights over 200 years ago. Misinterpreting and manipulating the Amendment obfuscates the spirit of the law meant to guide, not suffocate, the American people.
There ya go, folks. Marta has declared the Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States "irrelevant."

So, here's the logical conclusion:
The best way to make sure guns do not get into the wrong hands is to make sure they get into few, if any, hands. The government needs to ban assault weapons, require background checks at gun shows and all other gun purchases, and mandate child safety locks. Although gun rights advocates will complain about the hassle of safety precautions, this seems a small price to pay for the promotion of the general welfare.
Folks like this person are everywhere, and they think they're right. I urge you to visit Marta's site, and leave a letter to the editor.

Online and on the Gas

We've had gun porn, I think it's time we had some bike porn (especially for Big D). And in honor of Italy's Reform Minister Roberto Calderoli, here is a little pick me up.

This bike absolutely rocks! From the perfect shade of red, to the stance, to the trick race parts. This is a get your blood boiling race machine. Imagine showing up for your local shooting match on this monster.

Those Italians, gotta love'em.

Note from the editor: don't know what happened to this post, but it apparently got deleted (I'm looking at you, Catfish...). Fortunately, I was able to restore from an e-mail copy. Sorry about that, Dan.

Pantalaine

From the WTF Clothing department.

Hear about guy with 5 penises? His pants fit like a glove!

Here's a jewel from this site:

As always, "if you don't see it on the the floor, we'll be happy to make it"

If you see anyone wearing anything from this site, I'm sure it's perfectly legal to kick their ass.

Dallas Dem admits former work as prostitute

Seems to me that this guy is over-qualified as a Democratic candidate for the Texas House of Representatives. But maybe he's not too liberal...

Malin, who once was a member of the Dallas Citizens Police Review Board, has also worked as a Mary Kay salesman and performed in Dallas-area theater productions. His candidate Web page describes him as a managing director for the marketing arm of a Dallas electricity provider.

Um, nevermind.

Full Auto, Baby!

Ok, I'll admit it. All of this kee-rap about pictures of Muhammed, and the chicken shit liberals taking their opportunity at the microphone at CS King funeral and the constant harping over Cheney's accident have me really pissed off. Rather than rant and getting more freaking irritated and worked up than I am right now, I figured I'd talk full auto.

A few years back, several of us (JR, Dan, Big D and the Girl) were asked to go up to Tulsa, OK and help some buddies of ours demo full auto weapons. In the amount of time it took me to say lemmethinkaboutitYES! We were soon on the road to Tulsa.

Dan, Big D and myself drove up there in Big D's minivan. Well, ok, it wasn't his minivan per se, it was a previous employer's minivan. Big D doesn't have a lead foot. Take whatever element that exists that's 100% heavier than lead, and that's D's foot. Anyway, we're hauling ass through smallville Oklahoma. Speed limit 55. BD was doing 95 slowing down when the cop hit us with his radar and proceeded to pull us over. I did mention we were going to a shooting demo, right? There were at least 3-4 carbines, 2-3 shotguns, and at least 9-10 handguns, with a shitload of ammo to boot. There was so much stuff, in addition to our gear, clothes, and weapons, that the guns were pretty much in plain view as there just wasn't anywhere to put em. When we stopped, I looked around my little area in the back seat of the van. I had an AR under my feet, a shotgun riding down the middle of the van, and another rifle laying on the seat next to me. I pretty much figured that I was going to get shot by a jumpy small town policeman so I just went ahead and put my hands on my head and tried to look innocent, which frankly was harder than I imagined.

Cop comes to the door and knocks on BD's window, and asks him to roll it down. Well, the window had earlier been shot out by a richochet or something at a big IDPA match and when it was fixed, it wouldn't roll down. So, BD opens the door and goes "NO!" That's when the cop looked in the car and that's when I figured we were all going to jail. The cop asks BD "ummmm, sir, do you have any guns in the car?" BD responds, "ahhhhhhhhhh, well..... yessir. There's one there, one there, one there, one back there, one on my hip, one in my pocket, one in the glove box..." etc etc etc. Cop goes "step out of the car sir".

Well, Dan and I both figured the jig was up. In fact, he was on the phone with our host from Tulsa, who happens to be a cop.... Before Dan and I could figure out who was going to post our bond, BD comes back to the car starts it off, and takes off!

I'm thinking - tell me you're not running from the cop! BD said, "you are not going to believe this, but when I told him where we were going, he handed me back my licenses and told me to be careful!" (or something to that effect, I'm sure BD will remember...)

So, long story short, we get to Tulsa safe and sound with no prison record, which was a good thing. Because if we'd been busted, we wouldn't have been able to do this:

JSOC to become three-star command

The structural changes in the organization, the Joint Special Operations Command, will give its chief more authority and influence in dealing with other leaders and give his headquarters greater ability to simultaneously command and control multiple task forces in the field, said several sources familiar with the report.

JSOC is about to open up a fresh new can of whoopass on the terrorist community.

JSOC, headquartered at Pope Air Force Base, N.C., commands and controls the military’s three special mission units — the Army’s Delta Force, the Navy’s SEAL Team 6, and a joint unit based on the East Coast designed for clandestine operations and what the Pentagon calls “operational preparation of the environment.”
JSOC also controls the Army’s 75th Ranger Regiment and 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment and the Air Force’s 24th Special Tactics Squadron.

Too bad we don't get news reports on what these folks do...

Italian minister puts Mohammad cartoon on T-shirts

"I have had T-shirts made with the cartoons that have upset Islam and I will start wearing them today," Ansa quoted Calderoli as saying.
He said the T-shirts were not meant to be a provocation but added that he saw no point trying to appease extremists.

First Italian food, then Ferrari, then Ducati, now this guy. Italy rocks!

Japanese women bitter at Valentine chocolate duty

Japanese women are fed up with a longstanding Valentine's Day custom requiring them to give chocolates to men without getting any in return. According to an Internet survey, 70 percent of working women said they would be happy if there was no tradition of giving "obligatory chocolates" to their boyfriends or colleagues.

Welcome to the party, bitches!

Happy Valentine's Day!

With love, from all of us here at The Tattler.

Gore Laments U.S. 'Abuses' Against Arabs

Former Vice President Al Gore told a mainly Saudi audience on Sunday that the U.S. government committed "terrible abuses" against Arabs after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, and that most Americans did not support such treatment.
"The thoughtless way in which visas are now handled, that is a mistake," Gore said during the Jiddah Economic Forum. "The worst thing we can possibly do is to cut off the channels of friendship and mutual understanding between Saudi Arabia and the United States."
Gore told the largely Saudi audience, many of them educated at U.S. universities, that Arabs in the United States had been "indiscriminately rounded up, often on minor charges of overstaying a visa or not having a green card in proper order, and held in conditions that were just unforgivable."

My ass! What about lamenting the terror attacks committed by Saudi nationals? What about lamenting the fact that the Saudi’s are doing little or nothing to stop the terrorists that are pouring over their borders into Iraq? What about the abuses to women and children by Muslims? I for one am glad they are rounding up these people. How safe would we really be if they were left to run around and possibly plan or commit other acts of terror? If they are over here illegally or are people of interest, pick them up, hold them, question them, and then ship them back to where they came from if their freedom is warranted. Better yet, close the boarders. Gore, just does not support the United States on issues of homeland security. It's obvious who holds our safety and well being as a high priority, and who doesn't. This is just another reason I thank God this guy isn't the President of the United States.

Brokeass Mountain

This video caused me to spew.

Cheney Accidentally Shoots Fellow Hunter

Let's get a count of hands here. Who hasn't been peppered by birdshot on a bird hunting trip? Nobody? Me neither. Grow a set, then go find me some real news.

Range Report

Shot at Wichita Falls today. Damn cold at the start, and very, very windy. 5 fun run and gun stages and the classifier. Dan, the Pimp and I made the trek to the range, leaving at oh dark thirty, grabbing something to eat and getting to the range by about 9:45.

Stage 1 - start kneeling, "praying for a good run", get to your gun, shoot four targets through the port, then haul ass to engage two more arrays of 4 around the corner. A few of us got to reshoot this stage - what we thought were ports turned out to not be so. No biggie - more shooting is good shooting. Here's some pics of Dan and I:

Stage 2 had us starting in a box of our choice (on either the left or right side of the stage) and engage 3 paper, one popper, and then a mirror image (almost) on the opposite side. Advance into a narrowing hallway, and engage 1 paper in the middle of the bay, 1 paper on either side of the bay, and a popper next to the outside paper targets.

Stage 3 was a longish hallway type stage. Start with hands on the table, engage 4 poppers about 15m downrange, and one paper target. Advance down the hallway and two ports on the left with two paper each, then a quick step to the right with 3 paper, then about 5m down the hallway there were 4 more paper, and at the end of the hallway a paper covered partially with a no shoot and then "around" the corner a low paper target. Here's the Pimp and I at work on this stage:

Stage 4 seemed to have some bad karma. Start with your unloaded gun on the table with mag next to it. Engage 3 paper through the port, then 4 small pieces of steel in between the starting port and the door we had to run to about 10m away. Open the door, engage 3 paper targets IN the doorway, and then haul ass to the final position to engage 4 paper targets 10-12m away through a window. My camera crapped out of batteries so no more pics.... I got ultra lucky here. I wasn't paying attention to the COF and didn't hear the part about not engaging the steel through the first port. And did. At the last shooting position, my pistol decided to crap out on me (thanks to very cold conditions, very windy conditions blowing the ultra fine dust EVERYWHERE, and my pistol not being quite broken in yet after the hard chrome job...) But anyway - I earned two procedurals and the mother of all jams which cost me 20 seconds. How do I know it cost me 20 seconds you ask??? Well, that's because it turns out most of our squad, myself included, started in the wrong spot and had to reshoot! C'est la vie!

Stage 5 was a repeat of a stage last month, with a slight twist at the end. 4 big ports in a row, made of barrels. Behind each port at about 1m were arrays of 4 shoot targets with a no shoot covering 2 of them. At the end of the wall, you then got to engage a Texas Star. Fun, down and dirty stage.

Stage 6 was the classifier. 3 targets, two strings. String 1 at 15m had you shoot the 3 targets, reload then re-engage with strong hand only. String 2 at 10m had you shoot the 3 targets, reload, then re-engage with weak hand only. Gun issues for me again on the strong hand part; I think I was limp wristing with a combination of just general gun grunge. Got all my hits though, and even though the first string cost me about 10 seconds more than it should have, I still finished 5th on the stage thanks to good hits and reloads.

Wound up 3rd overall, not too shabby, Dan finished 10th with his new limited setup, and the Pimp finished well in open - having a lot of dirty gun issues himself.

The elements were pretty tough - the wind was brutal and I still haven't removed all the dust from my mouth and ears. Very very cold this morning, but hey, any day at the range is better than a day NOT at the range!