Perry Caught Using Vulgar Language On Tape

Hey - he's the governor. He can say what he wants. Besides, "AMF" is a time-honored traditional farewell here in the Great State of Texas.

House Approves Flag-Burning Amendment

I personally don't think we need an amendment to protect the long haired, maggot infested hippies, losers, and malcontents when they choose to burn Old Glory.

As long as MY Constitutional Right of freedom of speech is allowed to be expressed by stomping the ever loving shee-it out of them.

Brain Areas Shut Off During Female Orgasm

'During orgasm, there was strong, enormous deactivation in the brain. During fake orgasm, there was no deactivation of the brain at all. None,' Holstege said.

So, how can you tell when a woman's faking an orgasm? Who cares?!?

Rush Hour Accident in Oklahoma

No word on whether alcohol was involved, or if mullets were injured in the accident.

ABC News: Mom Demands Recall of Daughter's School Yearbook

Anybody see this on Good Morning America? This 11-year-old girl hates her school yearbook photo which will be seen by 200 kids and their families, so what's the logical thing to do?

Make a huge stink of it with the media, and get the very same picture she hates posted all over the Internets, where millions will see how selfish, petty, and stupid you really are. I'm just doing a public service by passing this on:

Texas May Be U.S. Top Watermelon Producer

Yessir, if you're looking for the place with the most melons, we're #1. And they're good for you, too.

"It really is more nutrient-packed than people realize," said Tara Gidus, a dietitian in Orlando, Fla. "It's high in vitamin A, vitamin E, and lycopene. The thing I like about it too is it's kid-friendly."

Amen, sister. Amen.

Democrats Block Attempt to Confirm Bolton

I think Mr. Voinovich needs a serious ass-kicking. Or, maybe he should stop being a RINO and just switch parties.

Charges Against Teen Upgraded After Dog He Allegedly Raped Dies

I don't know what is more horrid.

The fact that this butt-cheese raped a dog.

OR

The fact that the same douchebag also raped two little girls and yet the entire bulk of this story is that a dog was raped. It's almost as if the author of this story finds raping girls to be somewhat normal and practically acceptable behavior and that raping the dog is the big story. The two little girls he raped are mentioned in two sentances. Un-freaking-believable.

This punk kid needs to be taken out to the landfill and shot in the back of the head. I'm sure he'll walk because his mommy was mean to him, or his coach in high school humiliated him in public.

This frankly disgusts me, and that takes a lot.

'The Hokey Pokey' really is what it's all about, ya know

The creator of 'The Hokey Pokey' has passed on. I heard he already had his left foot in the grave. Then it was out. Then it was in again, and he shook it all about.

You may send me thank-you emails for putting that song back in your head at your leisure.

HoustonChronicle.com - Cheerleaders disciplined for 'feces pizza'

Ah, the old pooperoni pizza gag.

I'm tellin' ya - don't mess with Texas cheerleaders (or their moms). It will get your ass kicked.

Sheriff bought eight assault rifles: two for his office and six for NPD

There once was a Sheriff from Nantucket...

I dare you to finish the limerick.

Looks like the county sheriff is a forward-looking guy. He purchased 8 real-live select-fire assault rifles - M4A3s - from Bushmaster for "homeland security" emergencies. Seems the city managerette didn't like them being stored, and asked them to be removed. I'd be glad to help them oblige.

Texas not planning raid to arrest Jeffs

Arizona charges: The leader of the polygamous FLDS Church was indicted on two felonies Friday

Seems a little redundant to arrest a polygamist, don't it?

Anti-BB Gun Project Deemed Too Dangerous

Man, you can almost taste the irony.

Massachusetts is SO anti-gun, they've outlawed an anti-gun science project because it's too dangerous. What a bunch of pansies.

"The scientific review committee does not consider science projects involving firearms to be safe for middle school students," Degon said.

FIREARMS? They're BB guns, people! For cryin' out loud.

You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

Everybody Likes a Little Head...

Heh.

Concealed weapons advocate in House sets up free firearms classes for governor

As most responsible gun owners know, education is the key to safety, whether you're talking about guns, cars, fire, etc. The more you know about a subject, and the more experience you've had in a certain area, the more likely you are to make an intelligent decision, right?

Not if you're a shill for the anti-gun minions:

"I object to this being framed as merely educational, with no larger political intent," Carabello said. "This is not government responding to the public. This is a special interest trying to affect lawmakers."

At least she knows she's losing this argument based on logic, and is now resorting to illogic to make her "case."

What was the impact of education?

A year later, Huntsman still doesn't carry a gun. The only firearm he owns is a .22-caliber rifle he got as a teenager. The governor says he went to the class mostly to learn about Utah's law.
"I was interested in seeing what someone off the street has to go through in order to qualify," he said. "I thought it was rigorous.
"I came out of it understanding how to carry and how to be responsible," Huntsman added. "I felt I could carry a weapon without hurting someone, but choose not to."

Here's the bottom line from both sides:

Oda says his purpose in arranging the free classes is to increase the level of understanding - and support - for concealed carry permits in Utah's Capitol.
"If someone wants to become informed about it, learn both sides and then criticize, great," he said. "Speak from education, not emotional rhetoric. Emotion is dangerous."
But Carabello says the free classes don't pass the proverbial "smell test." Oda's classes, she says, are a subtle form of lobbying for looser laws - something Utah doesn't need.

I'm guessing Ms. Carabello won't be taking a concealed carry class anytime soon - it would distort her bias, and that's something she couldn't cope with.

French men yearn for pregnancy

PARIS — Almost 40 per cent of French men told a recent survey that they would like to, science permitting, become pregnant.

I am speechless.

Giant Balls of 'Snot' Explain Ocean Mystery

Talk about a headline I never thought I would see, this is it.

Hooters Reunion

Speaking of pictures from Hooters, here is one from the 25th Hooters Reunion.

Surgery on the Range

This is my elbow being drained of some horrible crap after an injury the week before. It had swollen up pretty badly after smacking it hard, and the doc says it's "traumatic bursitis." I was at the Texas State IDPA match, and my friend Ginger (who's a nurse) offered to drain it. We set up shop on the tailgate of her boyfriend's pickup truck, and after I was properly anesthetized, she stuck me. 7cc later, it was much better. However, I've had it drained 2 more times since then. Photo courtesy of The Girl.

Update: make that 3 more times, and it still looks like Popeye's elbow.

Moblogging again...

Hooters!

Man With Chain Saw Allowed to Enter U.S.

The headline really doesn't do this story justice. This guy tries to enter the US with a sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles, and a blood-stained chainsaw. The crackerjack Customs agents seized the weapons, and let him in. Meanwhile, back home in Canada, this guy's left 2 bodies behind, one without his head attached. Here's where the real detective work begins.

Despres, 22, immediately became a suspect because of a history of violence between him and his neighbors, and he was arrested April 27 after police in Massachusetts saw him wandering down a highway in a sweat shirt with red and brown stains. He is now in jail in Massachusetts on murder charges, awaiting an extradition hearing next month.

When questioned about how a loony was let into the States, a spokesman quoted:

"Nobody asked us to detain him," Anthony said. "Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up. ... We are governed by laws and regulations, and he did not violate any regulations."

There ya go. Feel safer now?

Move over Rambo, you're cramping new man's style

It figures that this story is coming from France.

Macho man is an endangered species, with today's male more likely to opt for a pink flowered shirt and swingers' clubs than the traditional role as family super-hero, fashion industry insiders say.

After I finish this Blog entry I'm off to buy my first pink flowered shirt and then head to the swinger's club instead of picking my son up at school, then heading to the gun range for my normal Wednesday night IDPA match!

"The masculine ideal is being completely modified. All the traditional male values of authority, infallibility, virility and strength are being completely overturned," said Pierre Francois Le Louet, the agency's managing director. Instead today's males are turning more towards "creativity,sensitivity and multiplicity," as seen already in recent seasons on the catwalks of Paris and Milan.

We here in Texas have names for the males described in the above quote. "Queer and sissy" are two that come to mind immediately. Another thing, I don't think you can accurately judge the masculinity of males in the world by seeing what nancy boys like these are wearing on the catwalks in Paris and Milan.

Geeks With Guns - Texas Legislature Passes Nine Pro-Gun Bills

Just to keep things topical, here's a gun-related item.

As if there weren't enough good reasons to live in Texas, here's nine more.

US chicken ducks jaywalking fine

This is exactly why the chicken shouldn't cross the road. I can't believe this is international news.

Karaoke toilet death mars school fundraiser

Now there's a headline you don't see every day, huh?

Sherlock Holmes returns in new books

This one's for Catfish. Ask him about his story...

Book: Lindbergh had 7 German children

Lucky Lindy, indeed. So the whole thing with flying across the Atlantic was a booty call.

AP Wire | 05/30/2005 | Men in Florida, New York charged in plot to support al-Qaida

I find it hard to believe that all these alleged slimebags could get is 15 years in prison.

In the old days, treason got you hanging from a rope from the nearest tree.

Protests Hit Illegal Immigration Summit

Ah, the state of liberal discourse in our country today. 2+1 does indeed seem to make 4 nowadays.

For example:
You're against illegal immigration.

that now means, wait for it, wait for it.... That you're a racist.

And, by monitoring the border, the Minuteman project is creating divisions among Americans!!

Unbelievable.

Muslim Protestors Burn Cross on Streets of London

Where's the outrage? Where's the news coverage? Where's the rioting Christians in the streets protesting the desecration of one of the most sacred symbols of Christianity? Where's the article in the New York Times, Newsweek and the Washington Post??

When will we wake up and realize that no matter how hard we are fighting a cultural war between the West and Islam; no matter how hard we pretend otherwise.

Some people have no sense of humor

Hat tip to American Drumslinger.

I stole this straight off his site. Is this true? Has this memo ever been written?

Who knows, but it sure made me chuckle this morning.


Military E-Mail

To: All Commands

Subject: Inappropriate T-Shirts

Ref: ComMidEastFor Inst 16134//24 K

1. All commanders promulgate upon receipt

2. The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:

"Eat Pork Or Die" [both English and Arabic versions]

"Shrine Busters" [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artilleryshells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]

Calvin cartoon figure urinating on the Koran.

"Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy" [Both English and Arabic versions]

"Goat- it isn't just for breakfast any more." [Both English andArabic versions]

"The road to Paradise begins with me." [Mostly Arabic versions but some in English. Some show cross-hairs from sniper scope.]

"Guns don't kill people. I kill people." [Both Arabic and Englishversions]

"Pork. The other white meat.' [Arabic version]

"Infidel" [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]

3. The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive.

4. The following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:

"For Sale. Iraqi Government Rifles. Never Fired, only dropped once."

"Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing RangeAt 0800 Daily."

"Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?"

5. All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt

Guantanamo Bay

Now, I wonder why the press is so eager to report anything anti-American, but anything pro-American gets left to wither on the vine. Could it be because anything positive about Americans, and anything potentially damaging to our enemies doesn't fit the template of American arrogance?

Now, why hasn't this made the news:

'Americans are very kind people,' one English-challenged detainee said in the March 4 paper. 'If people say there is mistreatment in Cuba with the detainees, those type speaking are wrong, they treat us like a Muslim not a detainee.'

Detainees eat culturally sensitive meals and follow arrows painted on dorm floors to face Mecca. 'Prayer calls are broadcast over loudspeakers five times a day...'

One detainee 'identified a complex detonation system…that had been used in the Chechen conflict, and now is being used on IEDs [Improvised Explosive Devices] in Iraq, helping U.S. forces to combat this lethal weapon.'

Or, why don't we hear about the poor helpless little muslims wanting to go back and start chopping heads when/if they're released:

'I will arrange for the kidnapping and execution of US citizens living in Saudi Arabia,' one detainee threatened, if freed. 'They will have their heads cut off.'

'There is no need to ask for forgiveness for killing a Jew,' another said. 'Israel should not exist and be removed from Palestine.'

Yep, sounds like the Gulag to me allright.

'Green Acres' Star Eddie Albert Dies at 99

And so, the trifecta is complete.

'Green Acres' was one of my favorite shows growing up, next to 'Leave it to Genie', and 'I Dream of Beaver'.

Victor Davis Hanson on Anti-Americanism

Brilliant:

There are easily identifiable constants in these sad examples. Rhetoric is always at odds with lifestyle: A novelist who tours and writes in English is the epitome of the Western liberal tradition that allows freedom of expression, promotes book sales through open markets, and enjoys unfettered peer review. Ms. Roy will always operate deeply embedded in the system she ridicules, and Western grandees will always pay her well for making them feel badly for a few hours. Islamists, Communists, and theocrats - in a Saudi Arabia, Iran, Cuba, or China - would not only not pay her, but might well issue a fatwa, jail time, or a death sentence for what they didn't like to read or hear.

And the coup d' grace:

It is not that we Americans are mad at what you say. It is just that you have all become so hypocritical, then predictable, and now boring — you are all so boring.

About what my good buddy PD says "Frankly, you bore the sh!t out of me."

Amnesty International

Amnesty International is a joke. They have been around as long as I can remember, and continue the long slide into obscurity.

I wonder if they realize that the terrorists would be just as likely to hack their heads off with a dull knife as they would look at them.

Poll majority say they'd be likely to vote for Clinton - Yahoo! News

Only in these here United States would the headline read "Majority say they'd be likely to vote for Clinton."

Read the fine print, dear readers.

A whopping 29% say they'd be VERY likely.

The story also mentions that she was "slightly ahead" of Algore at the same time in his attempt to win the Presidency. Boy, and Algore sure set the polls on fire, didn't he?

Perhaps what's the most telling to me about this poll and it's complete lunacy compared to the headline:

"Significant differences by age. Two of three voters under 30 were likely to support her, compared with fewer than half of those 50 and older."

Now, I think we all know that the youngsters do not vote in nearly the same proportions as the old timers do. Throw in the disproportionately high number of baby boomers vs. the young kids, and I think it doesn't bode well for the good Senator.

That, and she's a bitch and everyone knows it.

Turmoil as Chirac plots to disregard 'non' vote - World - Times Online

Ahhh, ze French. You gotta love em.

One of the many reasons the EU is doomed to fail.

Happy Birthday!

Happy 50th Birthday JR!!!

Now you can shoot in the Senior division!!

Thousands rally in Pakistan in new protests over Koran abuse report - Yahoo! News

Note to Muslims who might be upset worldwide:

Get over it.

If your God is the God you would like to believe, then anyone who desecrated your holy book will burn in hell. I think Allah can handle that, don't you?

Or, do you just need an excuse to act like an asshole?

Doctors' kitchen knives ban call

Just when you think we've got it bad here in the states, you can always rely on the liberals in England, Canada, or Europe to bail you out from an otherwise bad day.

Here's a news tip - how about giving the honest, law-abiding folks the ability to defend themselves???

It'd never work, it's just too simple a solution.

Vital clues over 'Piano Man'

This strikes me as a real life Bourne Supremacy type thing.

Maybe he'll figure out who he really is after running around England with a beautiful lass being chased by MI-5 and the CIA?

Texas Family Finds Baby Opossum in Toilet

Yessir, nothing says lifetime emotional scars for children like wild animals in your toilet. And just for the record, it's "possum."

Minnesota Company Closes Texas Tortilla Plant

Welcome to Texas. Now go home.

Just like "Dave's Famous Barbecue," also from Minnesota. The most awful so-called "barbecue" I ever assaulted my mouth with. If by "famous" you mean "soaked in salt like so much pork in a barrel of brine," then yeah - it was famous. It was also crap. I predicted they would last no more than 6 months here. They lasted 3 months.

Minnesota-made tortillas? No es bueno por ca-ca.

Voice of Tony the Tiger dead at age 91

Dang. Two icons of my youth dead in the same week. Good thing I'm not getting any older...

Geez. I couldn't think of a smart-ass remark for this one.

National Masturbation Month Reaches Climax On May 28

This year marks the 10th anniversary of National Masturbation Month and while most people will “celebrate” in private, organizer and sex expert Dr. Carol Queen expects at least 100 self-proclaimed self-lovers will gather in San Francisco for a hands-on charity event benefitting the Center for Sex and Culture.

I hope somebody busts these nuts.

GOP gunslinging in D.C.

I really don't like the Christian Science Monitor. First off, the whole Christian Science cult deserves a good fisking, but I'm not up to that task. Here's where they're really tickin' me off: they're gun-control advocates. This editorial I've linked is a prime demonstration of the type of crap people have been brainwashed into believing. Vis-a-vis:

Apparently those of us living in the nation's capital are being denied our Second Amendment rights and, well, she's just trying to help.

This just in: you are being denied your Second Amendment freedoms. Washington, D.C. enjoys one of the highest gun crime rates in the nation. Any clues why? Hello? Anyone? Bueller?

The whole tone of this "editorial" is utterly condescending and completely anti-gun. It's uninformed, and filled with half-truths and out-and-out lies:

There's the fact that the courts have decided that laws like the District's, which prohibits handguns, aren't any sort of violation of the Constitution, so we aren't really being denied anything - that's probably why the senator and her friends aren't going to court to have the D.C. rules thrown out.

But wait, don't forget ignorance:

But perhaps the most confounding part of this proposal is this: why is the Republican Party, the party of states' rights, deciding that in this case the federal government should supersede the will of the people living in the District? When did the GOP suddenly become the party that believes the federal government knows best?

State's rights? Washington is unique in that, under the Constitution, Congress has ultimate say over how it is governed, even though the 563,000 residents have no senator and only a nonvoting delegate in the House.

Once again, it's just proof that anti-gunners will say anything to advance their misguided cause.

Gun control activist to auction off finger-cutting device

This is a story about an anti-gun activist who cut off the tip of his finger as a protest.

'When I did it, people said I was crazy,' said Gonzalez, a former Bridgeport city councilman. 'I wonder what they are saying now.'

Oooh, ooooh!!! I know the answer!

Still crazy. $50,000 is the price he's looking for. Unless that finger's a viable kidney, good luck, ya loony.

UPDATE:
I actually visited the eBay auction and offered a comment. Within moments, I got a reply. Here's the exchange in it's entirety:

Dear JR,

You asked:
"I'll open the bidding if you'll use that thing on your head. Idiot."

PLEASE SPECIFY WICH HEAD .

Touche' man. Touche'

Voice of Fred Flintstone, Henry Corden dies at 85

Yabba-dabba-dead!

Science Forum

I was doing a little self-affirmation, and searching for "Texican Tattler" on the Internets. The link above goes to a forum where none other than Archimedes Plutonium (super genius) is prattling on about how his name is somehow associated with porn sites or somesuch. In any event, the Texican Tattler has somehow gotten into this embroglio. What's sad is that a so-called super genius doesn't know the difference between random spam and the results of a Google search.

We need some smarter geniuses, people.

Eight

Cartwright and two other men duped the victim, Nick Moraida, 37, into thinking they were homosexuals offering to share beer with him at a park along Corpus Christi Bay in 1996. Instead, Moraida was stabbed then shot to death while being robbed of his watch and wallet.

Seven

Wolfe, 44, was on parole from Louisiana and had fled a work-release program when he was arrested for the 1992 slaying of Bertha Lemell in her Beaumont home. Lemell had been stabbed 26 times. Around $40 was believed taken from her change purse, which also contained some black-eyed peas she carried for good luck.

Gun control plan full of holes - PittsburghLIVE.com

This is a great little op-ed on Pennsylvania's latest attempt to control your life. My favorite quote:

Besides, the priority should not be disqualifying identified terrorists from possessing firearms. A much more effective tack would be to disqualify identified terrorists from possessing a pulse.

Cops: Tattoo fits the crime

Granted, this guy is incredibly stupid, but you have to admire his appreciation of crappy firearms.

I guess what caught my eye was that this guy had not committed any gun crimes per se, aside from possession of illegal firearms (2 sawed-off shotguns - really bad). Because it's Massachusetts, though, this guys in deep doo-doo.

Nice profile picture of his well-trained beer belly, too.

Fonda flick doesn't fly in Hardin County

This is the best article I've seen in a long time! I want to send this guy $7 for the movie ticket I'll never buy.

May Hanoi Jane rot in hell for what she did and the suffering she caused. To abuse the very people that guarantee the freedoms she takes for granted. It is not the writer that gives you free speach, it is the soldier.

It's good to know that there are still people in this country that have the moral backbone to give up a few dollars to stand by their principles.

'Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith': Some Surprises in That Galaxy Far, Far Away

At one point, Darth Vader, already deep in the thrall of the dark side and echoing the words of George W. Bush, hisses at Obi-Wan, 'If you're not with me, you're my enemy.' Obi-Wan's response is likely to surface as a bumper sticker during the next election campaign: 'Only a Sith thinks in absolutes.'

Only the New York Times would try to rub their BS politics into this movie. How typical.

I still can't wait for the movie to come out, however.

Newsweek says Koran desecration report is wrong -

You may have noticed, dear reader, that I was pretty freaking pissed off about the report that our forces desecrated the koran in Gitmo.

Now I am totally pissed off. Turns out it looks like Newsweek pulled this story out of their ass. It's almost deja vu, all we need now is Dan Rather reporting it and it will be George Bush's records all over again.

When will the American Media remember that they are first and foremost, American?

When will the American Public realize that the American media is full of shinola?

It is starting to look very much to me like the American media is nothing but a bunch of traitorous whores and I for one ain't paying their bar tab any more.

Woman seriously injured after crashing into tree in Boynton: South Florida Sun-Sentinel

After Boynton Beach Fire Rescue freed her, she was flown to Delray Beach Medical Center, where crack cocaine was found in her underwear, police said.

Yeah, but was it clean underwear?

Protests Spread After Report of U.S. Desecration of Koran

How special. Anyone doubt that Islam needs to come into the 21st century? Hell, I'd be happy if they'd embrace the 18th century as a start.

I am sick and tired of hearing the whining and complaining around the world when the United States does something that some third world asshole finds offensive. How about drinking a nice can of STFU, eh?

I don't recall seeing folks on the Gaza strip upset when the planes hit the WTC. In fact, I seem to recall seeing those fanatics dancing in the streets.

I also don't recall seeing any Christian martyrs blowing themselves up (not even the Catholics!) when pieces of "art" went on display showing holy images to the Christian faith imersed in urine, or stained with feces.

But hey! Whenever the big bad United States of American offends some turd somewhere in the world, let's start burning the flag and blowing up innocent civilians.

Typical BS , and frankly, I'm sick and tired of it. Screw them and the horse they rode in on.

Print Story: Rice: Gun Rights Important As Free Speech on Yahoo! News

Print Story: Rice: Gun Rights Important As Free Speech on Yahoo! News

Oh my gosh! A politician that makes sense, can think for herself and doesn't simply blow the party line.

The 2nd Amendment is not about sport, hunting or even concealed carry. It is about preventing a repressive government from taking control of the people. It's about the people having a means to defend itself from such a government.

And Condi understands this concept. I know a lot of people don't like Condi, I don't understand why, but she sounds pretty smart to me. And obviously she has a spine because she's not pandering to the gun-nazis by trying to find the illustrious "middle ground."

Way to go Condi!

Alex Chiu's Eternal Life Device

If you scroll down the page, you'll see I have a couple of banners to Alex Chiu's web site, where you can order your own immortality devices. That's right, kids. Just wear these rings and live forever. Get younger, even! Do they work? Well, any immortality device that comes with a 90-day guarantee is good enough for me!

Click away - it'll get me my very own immortality rings, and I can update this blog forever!

Texas cheerleaders can still 'Drop It Like It's Hot'

The update you've all been waiting for.

Florence Shapiro, who chairs the Senate Education Committee said senators have been "cackling" about the bill and were surprised the House took time to debate it.

"We have so many big issues that haven't been resolved," Shapiro said, citing school finance and a tax bill among others.

"This isn't even on the radar."

Yep - she's my senator.

Texas bank robber with toy gun slain

A 60-year-old woman dressed in black, armed with a toy gun and driving a motor home robbed a bank in east Texas on Thursday, then led police on a low-speed chase before she was shot and killed when she allegedly pointed her fake revolver at officers.

The woman was identified by Tyler, Texas, police as Peggy Jo Tallas, an ex-convict who became known as 'Cowboy Bob' in 1992 after she pleaded guilty to robbing a bank in Mesquite, Texas, of $13,000 while dressed in a cowboy hat, sunglasses, a fake beard and mustache, and other Western attire.

If ABC doesn't make a TV movie of this, I will.

Unfortunate name

'Orgasm Day' Celebrated As Official City Holiday

Those crazy Brazillians. Dammit, I miss all the fun! Oh well, maybe next year...

Master Yoda's Blog

Help you get warmed up for the new movie it will. Amusing it is.

Lamborghini Murcielago Roadster: A bat out of hell

The Lamborghini Murcielargo Roadster - the road test co-driver got a nosebleed from the power of its brakes.

I have got to get me one of these.

Florida boosts gun rights, igniting a debate

Ah, the Christian Science Monitor. THE news outlet for a cult. They were basically benign, as far as I'm concerned, until this article. I always thought their politics were liberal, but this tears it.

When 16-year-old Mark Drewes knocked on a neighbor's door in Boca Raton, Fla., and then ran away as a prank, he was shot dead by homeowner Jay Levin. Mr. Levin, who said afterward that he mistook the boy for a robber out to attack him, was sentenced to 52 weekends in jail for manslaughter.
Now, 18 months later [emphasis mine--jr], the state has enacted a law that opponents fear will only encourage more gun owners like Levin to adopt a "shoot first, think later" approach - and this time get away without punishment. But others see the new measure, which allows people to meet "force with force" in public places without fear of punishment, as a vital way for people to protect their homes and families.

We've been down this road before on this blog. Back in the day (18 years ago), when concealed carry was passed in Florida, anti-gunners predicted "blood in the streets." Now that you don't have to retreat from being attacked, they're predicting OK Corral scenarios.

Give it up, people. This argument is just as lame as the ones you used 18 years ago. As for the kid above, well, that sucks. No doubt about it. But it's got not one damned thing to do with this law. It's just anti-gunners dancing in the blood of innocents. In case you've not yet noticed, it's one of their favorite tactics, and it's just as distasteful as it sounds.

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

FYI: This story's a fake.

In other news, there's a Cambodian Midget Fighting League.

The Cambodian Government allowed the fight to take place, under the condition that they receive a 50% commission on each ticket sold, and that no cameras would be allowed in the arena.

The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.

Sihamoni was quoted before the fight stating that he felt since his fighters out-numbered the lion 42 to 1, that they “… could out-wit and out-muscle [it].”

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

Well, it's official. I've seen everything now.

Death row inmate dies of apparent suicide

Huh. Guess he couldn't wait.

Reason: Straight Shooting on Gun Control: A Reason debate

Pretty good read. I'm still digesting it, but it presents a more reasonable approach to the issue of gun control. I don't agree with the concept of "gun control" (as commonly referenced) at all, but I agree there need to be gun laws. What's "reasonable" is apparently pretty subjective, and to date, hasn't been dictated by logic (the so-called "assault weapons ban," for example).

There's a counter-point, too. Comments?

Texas lawmakers vote to ban suggestive cheerleading

Since I've got a horse in this race, I'm gonna give you my $.02 worth. My daughter has been a competitive cheerleader for several years now, and recently tried out for and made the freshman cheerleading squad at the high school she's attending in the fall. Not only that, but she's one of 3 freshmen selected for their competition squad, composed of upper classmen.

I've seen a lot of cheerleading over the years. I've even been the announcer at the NCA National Cheerleading Championships back in the day. I can't even begin to imagine what the definition of "suggestive cheerleading" might be.

What's the standard that will be used to determine what is suggestive, lewd, or inappropriate? This hearkens back to the 60's debate over what constituted "pornography." The Supreme Court won't want any part of this debate, either.

Texas lawmakers need to stay away from this one. In Texas, cheerleader moms can have you whacked.

Burrito Leads To School Lockdown, Armed Officers On Roof Tops

Gee, do you think that we're carrying this zero tolerance a little too far?? Nahhhhh.

But I will say this:

If the Pimp Daddy had eaten that burrito, it likely could have been used as a lethal weapon.

Trust me.

Jury Returns Death Sentence in GI Killings

I'm glad to hear this SOB gets the needle. Deliberately killing your team-mates in wartime should get the hangman. Period.

Now, does anyone else find it odd that the media has pretty much been dead quiet about this? Have you also thought that if this was a white guy, who happened to be, let's say, Catholic - that this wouldn't be plastered all over the place as a racist act of a desperate religious zealot.

But, as has been pointed out here before, if you are of minority status and of a peaceful, loving religion like Islam, then we don't really like talking about this stuff.

I mean, it's not till you get mid-way through this story that you see: "My life will not be complete unless America is destroyed."

Good riddance.

Ga. Woman Found, Reportedly Got Cold Feet

All we have been hearing since Tuesday was how this woman had gone missing. It led every news show I have seen. She left her wallet, keys, and everything else at home and went jogging. Nobody had seen or heard from her since.
I fell asleep on my couch last night while watching The Fox News Channel. I woke up about 3am to Greta Van Susteren interviewing the woman's relieved and elated family members. They had been told that she was abducted by a Mexican-American male and a white woman who were driving a blue van, and was released in New Mexico. I was genuinely relieved and happy for everybody whose world had been turned upside down because they had feared the worst for the last four days. I also thought about how lucky she was that she didn't end up dead at the hands of her kidnappers. One of the things I have hammered into my wife's head is NEVER go to crime scene number two. If somebody is trying to get you to go someplace, avoid it at all costs. If they are going to harm you, make them do it right there and hopefully you will get help from a witness or somebody that happens by. If they are taking you someplace, it will likely be to a remote area with no help for miles. I thought to myself "Well, she went to crime scene number two and was let go. Lucky."
When I woke up this morning after finally going to bed, I turned on the news to find out that she had made it all up.
The man who owns the Cafe where she lives, who had provided the searchers with coffee and sandwiches said it best.

Ryan Kelly, owner of the Park Cafe a few blocks from Wilbanks' house, which gave out coffee and sandwiches to searchers, said he was glad Wilbanks was alive and healthy. "But that being said, this is one of the most selfish and self-centered acts I've ever seen. We saw her parents, and you could see the anguish in their eyes. It was terrible," he said. "I don't care where you are — unless you're in the Amazon rainforest, you'd know everybody was out looking for you."

If her fiancee wants to go through with the wedding he should take the appointment after hers to get his head examined.

Happy Birthday, You Murderous Bastard!

It's Saddam Hussein's Birthday. I can only hope it's the last one he will see.
I posted a picture of him celebrating with some friends on a previous Birthday. ; )

A Meme That Stinks

Julie with a B tagged me with the turd in a punchbowl meme. So, I cogitated for all of about 5 seconds and penned this pearl of pulchritudinous potty poetry:

Turd in a punchbowl
What a crappy meme
Turd in a punchbowl
What a poopy theme

Don't like it? Tough. It's my blog.

Officer's Gun Falls From Pants, Shoots Man In Other Bathroom Stall

Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark. On the cop and the San Antonio Police Department, that is. Kids, the lesson to be learned here is NEVER, EVER try to catch a falling gun, m'kay?

Wild Hogs Mangling Fields in Texas

"Bring an AK-47, because that's what you'll need," Canton cattle rancher Don Metch said.

'Nuff said. Sounds like a hog-hunting trip is in order...

Florida Governor Signs Deadly Force Law

Florida no longer requires you attempt to flee before you can use deadly force in self-defense.

I'd say it's about time. In Texas, deadly force is justified if you are in "imminent and immediate" fear for your (or another person's) safety (as in fear of death or bodily injury), just the same as law enforcement. There is NO requirement to flee, particularly in your own home. The states that still require attempted retreat are kidding themselves, and just opening themselves up for lawsuits.

Altered Pledge of Allegiance stuns students

Instead of "one nation, under God," the voice said, "one nation, under your belief system."

Principal Kathleen Norton, who normally leads the Pledge but was out of the building at the time, apologized to students Thursday and sent home letters of apology yesterday.

It's good to see the school officials actually condemning this idiot. It seems like more often than not, schools land on the wrong side of issues like this. We are not talking about school prayer here. We are talking about the Pledge of Allegiance. If someone has a problem with pledging allegiance to the flag, then they have a right to stand there and be quiet. Then, hopefully during recess they become the victim of an atomic wedgie at the hands of good America loving children.

Mexican army's poorer weapons may have cost it Texas

I read this article today and wanted to revisit the subject of the Battle of San Jacinto. This article is about a Texas high school teacher's hypothesis that Santa Anna's men were outgunned by General Sam Houston's men and their weapon of choice, The American Kentucky Rifle. It's pretty interesting. I also included a link below for more information on the Kentucky Rifle.

There were Springfields in Houston's army, muskets of various manufacture, maybe even a few Brown Besses. But the vast majority, probably over 500, carried the weapon of choice — the American Kentucky rifle."

http://www.americanlongrifles.com/american-longrifle-kentucky-rifle-story.htm

Pope Benedict XVI

I have heard people talk about everything from his conservative stance on homosexuality to his days in the Hitler youth, but I find it strange that nobody ever mentions his acting career.

Big Gay Elton Gets Ready To Take the Plunge

They're so darn cute, just makes you want to puke. No wait, scratch that - it just makes you want to puke, period.

Why the Liberals Can't Keep Air America From Spiraling In

I almost choked on my water when I saw this had been printed in the LA times....

ABC News: Secret FBI Report Highlights Domestic Terror

Another interesting report about domestic terror groups - and this one from the FBI appears to take the opposite view from the DHS report. Far as I can tell, no right wing groups listed here?

Maybe the DHS is going after the lefties and the FBI is going after the right wing kooks??

Who knows. But I find it interesting to note that you don't find the same tone in the ABC story about how no left wing groups were listed....

CQ.comAnimal Rights Groups and Ecology Militants Make DHS Terrorist List, Right-Wing Vigilantes Omitted

I wish we were to the point in our society when we could call a spade a spade. It would appear that CQ is upset that militant white guys didn't make the list of terrorists for the DHS. Well, for the record, if you're a terrorist asshole, white, green, yellow, brown or red, your ass outta be on the list.
I am happy that we have at last labled the leftists groups as terrorists. Now, if the DHS can just get its shit together and list em all, regardless of political persuasion, we'll be better off.
The tone of this article does lead me to wonder if it would have been written if the white terror groups were listed and the leftist groups were not?

The Battle of San Jacinto

On this day in Texas history the battle of San Jacinto was fought. It was the decisive battle in the Texas revolutionary war. This is a very interesting read that covers the battle as well as the events prior to the battle.

According to Houston's official report, the casualties were 630 Mexicans killed and 730 taken prisoner. Against this, only nine of the 910 Texans were killed or mortally wounded and thirty were wounded less seriously. Houston's ankle was shattered by a rifle ball. The Texans captured a large supply of muskets, pistols, sabers, mules, horses, provisions, clothing, tents, and $12,000 in silver. Santa Anna disappeared during the battle...

This sounds like an ass kicking of monumental proportions.

Chinese men measure up below the belt

Yeah, whatever. But here's the important part:

It found that a man's height bore no relation to the length of his member, but those with higher body mass indexes, or fat content, appeared to have shorter penises.

So you fat guys may live longer, but but us skinny guys will live "longer."

Execution by injection far from painless

They examined post-mortem blood levels of anaesthetic and believe that prisoners may have been capable of feeling pain in almost 90% of cases and may have actually been conscious when they were put to death in over 40% of cases.

This is just heartbreaking. To think some murderous scumbags may have suffered momentarily as they receive their punishment. That is what I call justice.

Fla. man puts car 'out of its misery' with pistol

A 1994 Chrysler LeBaron. He goes to jail for killing his POS car, but Terry Schiavo...ah, nevermind.

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Your Linguistic Profile:
60% General American English
30% Dixie
5% Midwestern
5% Yankee
0% Upper Midwestern

That's me. Surprised at the Yankee, though. Must be the people I run with...

Verizon CEO scoffs at technology hopes

Uh-oh. This guy's made all the geeks mad now. Not only does he think we're too demanding for expecting our mobile phones to work in our *gasp* homes, but he's saying municipal Wi-fi is a bad idea, too. Gee, I wonder why the phone company would have a problem with that? I guess all that money we're paying for our phone service doesn't entitle us to continuous service improvements, huh? We should just pay our bills, and be happy we even get to use their crappy service.

CDC Links Extra Pounds, Lower Death Risk

Packing on the pounds is not nearly as deadly as the government thought, according to a new calculation from the CDC that found people who are modestly overweight actually have a lower risk of death than those of normal weight.

WOO HOO, I WIN!

Double-Header, Texas Style

Texas leads the nation with 340 executions since resuming capital punishment in 1982 after the lifting of a death penalty by the U.S. Supreme Court. It was the last state to kill two people on the same night.

That was almost 5 years ago. Now, 2 more murderers will face the Reaper tomorrow night.

Something Awful (Reprise)

I recently had a post about Engrish, and another one about Something Awful. As if they were reading my blog mind, Something Awful did a Comedy Goldmine piece on Engrish.

This is making happy my super fun time.

Ted Nugent to Fellow NRAers: Get Hardcore

"To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."

I love this guy. As radical as this may sound to the libs, I want to ask them, why should we as a society let criminals victimize us? Why, if I wake up in the middle of the night and somebody is in my home, or if an armed scumbag is trying to rob me, or if they are attempting to rape a woman, or kidnap a child, should we be okay with letting them go and hoping they are caught and punished by our criminal justice system? I am not advocating vigilantism, what I am advocating, as Mr. Nugent is, is the right for us to protect ourselves as well as our friends and families. Go armed and be prepared to defend yourself against criminals.

COULTER RIPS MAG PHOTO 'DISTORTION'

Ann Coulter is not happy about her picture on the cover of Time magazine. Granted, it does make her nice legs look like pencils, but for those of us who love her, I can assure you it looks fine. I happen to think she is a very attractive woman. I have seen and heard liberals bashing her and trying to make fun of her looks, like the other night on Saturday Night Live, but I just don't get it. She is hot!
They cannot compete with her on the issues so they resort to doing what liberals do best. They attack her personally. It's like what is going on with Tom DeLay. They can't beat him at the ballot box, so they try to ruin his credibility as well as attack him personally. Don't worry about it Ann, you look great.

To be fair and balanced I am also posting a couple of magazine covers of President Clinton that were not very flattering.

Eureka! Extraordinary discovery unlocks secrets of the ancients

Thousands of previously illegible manuscripts containing work by some of the greats of classical literature are being read for the first time using technology which experts believe will unlock the secrets of the ancient world.

Among treasures already discovered by a team from Oxford University are previously unseen writings by classical giants including Sophocles, Euripides and Hesiod. Invisible under ordinary light, the faded ink comes clearly into view when placed under infra-red light, using techniques developed from satellite imaging.

The Oxford documents form part of the great papyrus hoard salvaged from an ancient rubbish dump in the Graeco-Egyptian town of Oxyrhynchus more than a century ago. The thousands of remaining documents, which will be analysed over the next decade, are expected to include works by Ovid and Aeschylus, plus a series of Christian gospels which have been lost for up to 2,000 years.

This is pretty incredible. Imagine what was lost when the library at Alexandria burned. This doesn't make up for it, but it's bound to produce some interesting insights to the ancient world.

Mouth to Pecker for Choking Chicken

It warms my heart to see what friends will do for each other.

Woman reports apartment’s third burglary in five months

Can't make this stuff up, folks.

"Sometime between 7:35 a.m. and 4 p.m. Wednesday, someone entered an apartment on the 5300 block of East McKinney Street and stole several items.
According to a police report, the tenant said she was missing a game player, several games, a digital camera, a DVD player and several pieces of jewelry.
The resident said this is the third time her apartment has been burglarized since December. She believes entry is being made by using a key she leaves under the welcome mat."