The Great John Daly

JR's post on Wie got me thinking about the well conditioned golfer. Sure, there are some, but give me the John Dalys of the world to root for.
This is a man with natural ability who truly doesn't care about anything but doing what he enjoys, like drinking, playing golf, gambling, and eating. The Great John Daly has won two Majors. The first one he showed up in a Buick station wagon with a girl he barely knew and had an extreme hangover. He won it. He also won the British Open played at the goat range known as St. Andrews.
I love this picture of him. He is sporting a massive hangover (over his belt), he is sponsored by 84 Lumber, and has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Heat exhaustion forces Wie to withdraw from Deere Classic

Michelle Wie may be hot, but she can't take the heat.

The temperature Friday afternoon was 88, with the sun and humidity making it feel as if it was five degrees warmer. Wie teed off shortly before 2 p.m. CDT, and was looking listless by the time she approached the fifth green. She sat on her bag with her head bowed, a towel to her face, until it was her turn to putt.

Gee, you'd think she was a teenage girl with that kind of drama. Oh, yeah.

As I type this, it's 86 degrees outside, with 62% humidity - that's a temperature/humidity index of 91 degrees. I just ran 3 miles, and I'm OLD. It'll be 101 here in North Texas today.

Golf. It produces some real athletes.

Crack was disguised as chips

Mmm...a tasty new variation: Crack-flavored Pringles.

[Austin] Police then obtained a search warrant for Landry's car where they found 168 grams of crack cocaine. The drugs were hidden in potato chip containers and shaped like wafers.

I bet the Austin police were disappointed to find drugs in the Pringles can, anticipating a snack.

Betcha can't eat just one!

Zidane Compilation

Updated! This one is even better.

Nation's Capital Declares Crime Emergency

Two groups of tourists were robbed at gunpoint on the National Mall, just hours after the police chief declared a crime emergency in the city in response to a string of violence that included the killing of a British activist.

But...but...

On Tuesday night, two women from Texas were robbed at gunpoint by two men dressed in all black, said U.S. Park Police Sgt. Scott Fear. About 15 minutes later, a family of four from Missouri was robbed by suspects with the same description, he said.

This can't be! Guns are illegal in Washington, D.C.! How can crime be increasing?

Robberies are up 14 percent, and armed assaults have jumped 18 percent in the past 30 days.

I guess I'm just not as smart as the politicians who banned guns in D.C. I know I'm just a common citizen, and I know they're elected officials that represent their constituency, but damned if I can see the sense in this whole situation.

Japanese gadget records, replicates odor

The new device, developed by scientists at the Tokyo Institute of Technology, analyzes smells through 15 sensors, records the odor's recipe in digital format and then reproduces the scent by mixing 96 chemicals and vaporizing the result.

That sounds a whole lot more complicated than just farting into a zip lock baggy.

School District Bans Mouth Jewelry

Ho-hum. We posted this way back in February of 2005. Gold, diamond, and SPINNER teeth. Those whacky teens:

"Really, a grill is just like an earring. It's fashion," said Sam Houston junior Devonte Wright, 16.

Amen, Devonte. Amen.

"If they bought it, they should be able to wear it," said Sam Houston senior LaVeda Antwine, 17.

Preach on, LaVeda!

Leave it to some mean, crusty old administrator to lay down the law:

"We want to instill in them a sense of modesty and a sense of community," said school board trustee Gloria Pena. "We're preparing them for the work force, and in the work force there are rules."

Yes, there are. Such as: you must wear your name tag at all times while serving fresh, hot, tasty food.

Explosion of joy in Rome as Italy wins World Cup

Thanks god it's over. I thought it would never end. I can't believe how popular this sport is around the world. The only thing more boring than Track is Field, but soccer runs a close third.

Only 18 days until the Cowboys start training camp!

Ka-boom!

Wanna see something really scary?This belongs to our friend Patty, and she was shooting with us today in Greenville. She had a squib round (primer, but no powder) that ejected the bullet a short distance down the barrel. She then fired another round that struck the bullet already in the barrel. The result was nothing short of catastrophic for her after-market (not a Glock) barrel. I've seen a few KBs, but nothing that has split the barrel the entire length. This one was a doozy. Patty got a little bruise on her left hand, nothing more. Not sure if the rest of the gun was salvageable, but it appeared to be okay. I expect they're going to need to replace a few things (I'd have to replace my underwear...). I also expect they want to invest in a powder-checker. The rest of us hand-loaders are knocking on wood, because this really could happen to anyone.

Safety tip: if the round you just fired doesn't sound just right, go ahead and be paranoid. If there's no bullet stuck in the chamber, you'll get a reshoot if the RO thought so, too. If so, well - you probably just saved your gun. Safety/Range Officers: you should be watching the gun, not the targets. I don't know who the RO was during this incident, but I wonder if he/she recognized what was happening. If you've seen it once, you KNOW when it happens, and you need to react quickly to prevent a problem.

All in all, everyone was okay, but the gun is a bit of a mess. Thank goodness nobody was hurt.

Something Tells Me He Didn't Make It

The Six Most Feared but Least Likely Causes of Death

This article is just for my pal Catfish, who has a fear of at least 3 of these things. He's going on a trip, where he's liable to be in a plane crash and survive crashing into the ocean, only to be eaten by a shark. The shark will throw him up, and he'll wash up on shore, where he'll be kidnapped by terrorists, who will murder him by tossing him off a cliff, which will then cause an earthquake. But he won't care by then.

The Declaration of Independence

Happy Birthday, America.

Take a moment away from your beer and brisket today, and read the Declaration. Complain if you like about how things are today, but at least consider what got us here in the first place. It's a very powerful document, and helps us today to understand the outrageous wrongs foisted on the Colonies by the King of England. It's proof that people will only live under tyranny for so long before rising up against it.

U.S. Pins Wiener-Eating Hopes on Chestnut

The biggest challenge of his life awaits Joey Chestnut on the Fourth of July - and he doesn't want to choke.

Mercy. I want to write for a newswire.

Hey, Look! A Monkey!

Pigs die in trailers parked at Texas border

Texas One-hundred-thirty-five pigs en route from Ohio to Mexico have been found dead inside trucks waiting to go through border inspection in Texas.

I understand you can get a great deal on ribs at the local truckstop.

Texas Tops Nation's Dry-Eye Spots

We're number one!

Apparently, the eyes of Texas are red and itchy.

"With the heat, patients particularly spend a lot of time in air-conditioned environments. The air conditioning leads to less humidity, which in turn leads to the dry eye."

Well, that explains it. The transplanted, out-of-state weenies that can't take the heat go inside, then get all pasty white and red-eyed, and next thing you know, we've got a bad rap.

You kids need to go outside where I've been the last couple of days. Sure, it's hot - but at least it's really humid.

Mounties to marry in N.S. in first-ever union of two male RCMP officers

Reaction to the wedding - the first between two male RCMP officers - has befuddled the couple, who have been overwhelmed by interview requests from reporters and congratulations from well-wishers they've never met.

Brokeback Mounties? Dudley Do-right must be spinning in his cartoon grave.

Mom Accused Of Leaving Baby Home Alone To Buy Beer

Dammit, people. You cannot expect your children to buy your beer.

Doesn't anyone proofread anymore?

Operation removes lightbulb from anus

Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus. Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.
"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else,"
He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

Maybe his colon got an idea about something.

There is a nice picture of the x-ray.

Me and You and a Really Horny Bear Named Boo

He said the bear bashed a nearly 400-pound steel door off its four bolts, destroyed an electrical box while tearing through two electric fences and scrambled over a 12-foot fence anchored with 2 feet of steel below ground.

"I think he just kept charging it (the door) and charging it until it broke off its bolts," Dalzell said. "Everything was completely trashed. We are dealing with a pretty smart and determined bear."

Poor Boo. Determined my arse - that bear wants a taste of something, and I'm betting it's not freedom.