Reaction Of The Proud Parents of Miss Teen South Carolina

Tribute Song for Miss Teen South Carolina's Answer

Touching.

Air-dropped damns could fix levee breeches

That's right, it's an actual headline on some tree-hugger site. Curse words from the sky could fix levee pants, apparently.

Damns formed of metal tripods and self-filling water bladders could be air-dropped to rapidly repair levees breached by storm damage, say US government researchers.

When Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans in August 2005, the levees created to protect the city from flooding were breached and the resulting deluge left 80% of the city underwater (see Flawed levees no match for Hurricane Katrina).

Should a similar disaster strike the US again, the researchers hope that make-shift damns, dropped from the air, could stem prevent the resulting flood.

Wow. Just...damn.

The Shocker!

The gesture, involving the middle, index and pinky fingers, goes by various names including "the shocker" when the connotation is sexual in nature.

That'll get you blurred. See the picture.

nasty bad naughty boy

Tell me this guy isn't a homo.

Republicans hammer Brit artist's Bush

Another great headline.

Hammering a bush is a hell of a lot better than soliciting sex in a bathroom from a dude.

Blown transformer cuts power to wiener plant

What? You think I make these headlines up?

Gun lovers disarm control advocates

Here's a taste of Liberal Chicago gun-control advocacy:

Let's get organized and shove tougher gun policies right down their throats.

Laura Washington hates guns, and apparently can't understand why everyone doesn't see things her way.

Is it because she's so rational and reasonable?

Our elected officials have either been bought off or are missing in action. The odds are against the majority of Americans who are terrified and sickened by the gun menace.

Nope, that's not it. Is it because she's got paranoid delusions about what constitutes responsible gun ownership?

Do you want to be standing in line for gas, popcorn or a gallon of milk and find yourself next to someone who's packing heat? If he takes the White House, we can all go shopping for embossed leather holsters and pearl-handled pistols. I'll be looking to accessorize that with rhinestone-studded boots.

That might be closer to the truth.

Laura can't understand why an ABC News poll showed overwhelming support for gun control, while letters to the editor demonstrated an overwhelming desire for her to STFU. Seriously, an ABC News poll? Did they call 25 inner-city residents at random and call that a sample?

Laura believes that gun control measures don't advance because gun rights advocates are so mean and vitriolic. Hmmm. The phrase "pot calling the kettle black" comes to mind.

Sen. Craig: 'I Am Not Gay'

Maybe not, but his boyfriends sure are.

100-year-old celebrates her birthday by smoking 170,000th cigarette

An iron-lunged pensioner has celebrated her 100th birthday by lighting up her 170,000th cigerette from a candle on her birthday cake.
Speaking at her 100th birthday party Winnie said: "I have smoked ever since infant school and I have never thought about quitting.

Happy Birthday Granny!

U.S. most armed country with 90 guns per 100 people

Well, 90% isn't bad, I guess. This surprised me, though:

India had the world's second-largest civilian gun arsenal, with an estimated 46 million firearms outside law enforcement and the military, though this represented just four guns per 100 people there. China, ranked third with 40 million privately held guns, had 3 firearms per 100 people.

Now I'm Pissed

Remember the toilet paper job from last week? Well, it just escalated. Ketchup, mustard, cola, meat, and what might be a milkshake decorated my daughter's car.






















Way over the line. Police report filed, parents, kids, and coaches are being called. Please let me catch you doing something else...

New Video Posting in Blogger!

It's a new feature in Blogger, and I'm trying it out. Enjoy a video from last year's Lone Star Adventures, showcasing our local shooting sports.

The Nuge!

This makes me laugh.

The Death of a Match

That flushing noise you hear is this stage. My extractor gave out, and I suffered a couple of major malfs. Oh, well - there's always next year.

Thai man dies wearing wife's bras

A 43-year-old Thai man was found dead wearing 15 bras and a mini-skirt belonging to his estranged wife, news reports said Wednesday. Jaran Khadphano was found dead Tuesday from a suspected heart attack at his home.

I don't know why, but after reading this story I can't stop thinking about my wife's panties. In fact, the first thing I'm going to do when I get home is rip her panties off.
They are crushing my testicles!

Police Need Help Identifying Amnesia Victim

I know this woman! She is my wife. She loves me unconditionally, loves to clean house, cook, do lawn work, clean guns, load ammo, and is a total nymphomaniac. I'm off to Tyler to get her and remind her of all this.

Immigration Activist Deported to Mexico

An illegal immigrant who took refuge in a Chicago church for a year to avoid being separated from her U.S.-born son has been deported to Mexico, the church's pastor said.
Elvira Arellano became an activist and a national symbol for illegal immigrant parents as she defied her deportation order and spoke out from her religious sanctuary. She held a news conference last week to announce that she would finally leave the church to try to lobby U.S. lawmakers for change.

Damn right we need a change. I'm tired of saying it, but we need to get serious about the illegal immigration problem. One change that needs to be made is the law that automatically makes their babies US citizens. Just because they calve over here shouldn't automatically make the baby an American. Only babies of US citizens should be US citizens at birth.

"We are sad, but at the same time we are angry," said Javier Rodriguez, a Chicago immigration activist who worked with Arellano. "How dare they arrest this woman?"

How dare they arrest and deport somebody that has entered the country illegally? Give me a break. How dare these people. I'm sick and tired of hearing these people and their whining. I'm also sick of these people and the liberal left trying to paint me, and others that feel the same way, as Mexican hating racist. I am not a Mexican hating racist. I am intolerant of people that have no respect for our laws and our sovereignty.
I do hope her baby makes it to Mexico safely to be with it's mother, and I hope they both stay there.
One down, 20 MILLION to go.

BOO!

Ha,ha! Did I scare you? Oh, mercy, I crack me up. Al hamsandwich!

Hi, Adam Gadahn here. You may know me as Adam Yahiye Gadahn, Adam Pearlman, the American Al-Qaeda, Azzam the American, or as my pals here in Pakistan call me, "Stinky."

You may remember me from such videos as "Knowledge is for Acting Upon," "Becoming a Muslim," "Driving Miss Car Bomb," "Dude, Where's My Camel?," and all those stupid-ass "training" videos with carpet-covered homies swinging from monkey bars and grabbing hot rifle barrels with their bare hands. I swear, they're so embarrassing sometimes, but they mean well. Plus, they want to cut your throats.

Okay, listen up, infidel dogs. We need to talk. More accurately, I need to talk and I need you to listen. You simply are not taking my threats to America seriously. Look - I'm not just wearing all this laundry on my head because it's so fashionably fabulous (not to mention slimming when it's in black), I'm hard-core, and I mean business. No, seriously. I'm street. And by street I mean AQ street (that's what the boys here in the cave call Al Qaeda). Street in the sheet - that's us. And we're not in it just for the virgins, either. Although, I have to admit, that does have some appeal. I'm not exactly Al Smootha with the houris, ya feel me?

Anyhoo - Allah say (peanuts be unto him) you best be squarin' up and paying attention, because we're gonna bust some shit up, Allah willing (we alway say that in case nothing actually happens. Which it mostly doesn't. But it will. Someday. Seriously. Quit laughing, Allah dammit!). I mean it, because we may or may not have some big, scary plan all cooked up and ready to go. Hey - stop giggling - we really are bad-asses, with training camps, guns, and super fashion sense.

You think I'm kidding, don't you? Do you think global warming is an accident, kafir? Allah (pizza be unto him) says you will drink the wine of your iniquities, and have the chips and dips of your sins. Or something like that. In any event, you really don't want to open up that can of camels. We are stupid, but we are patient, and um...where was I?

Now go put on your American cowboy boots so you may shake in them.

BBC drops fictional terror attack to avoid offending Muslims

Yep, wouldn't want to offend those peace loving muslims now, would we?