Breast implants saves woman after Hezbollah attack

One Israeli woman has received an unexpected boost from her breast implants during the Lebanon war -- the silicone embeds saved her life during a Hezbollah rocket attack, a doctor said. "The young woman went through surgery two years ago to have a larger chest," he said. "During the war she was wounded in the chest by shrapnel" that got stuck in the implants instead of penetrating further.

I would like to make an honest and heartfelt plea to all you ladies out there. PLEASE think of your safety and go get breast implants. It is one way you can insure your safety during these crazy times. I would also ask that you email me with pictures of your implants so I can stop worrying about you. Before and after pictures would be good, but just before or just after will be fine, also. It really doesn't matter, just send them.
Thank you and be safe,
Big D

Let's hope England does the right thing

The Brits are actually thinking about profiling muslims. I hope they do it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Until we get over our squeamish-ness about potentially insulting people, we're going to lose the war.

You know what you say to an "innocent" muslim that you search before he or she gets on a plane or other method of public transportation? "I'm sorry for taking up some of your time. Have a nice flight." But, let's say you actually stop someone from blowing up an airplane because you did the right thing and profiled them? How many Scandinavian grandmas do we have to watch get stopped at the security checkpoints while the persian in the flowing robes walks right by before we wise up?

Ask any cop - profiling works.

However, the highest ranking muslim policeman in Britain has given warning that:

profiling techniques based on physical appearance were already causing anger and mistrust among young Muslims. Tarique Ghaffur, an assistant commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, said: “We must think long and hard about the causal factors of anger and resentment.

Let's think about that statement, shall we?? Basically what he's saying is that if the muslim community thinks they're getting the shaft, there will be riots, problems, etc etc etc. How asinine of a statement is that? I mean, really, let's substitute any other religious group for muslims and can you see that group rioting in the streets because they feel they're being discriminated against? I mean, really, if someone will riot, burn, loot, and kill people over a cartoon - who's to say what they'll do if they get profiled??

How about this? I'll be insulted, and severely mistrust the TSA if I'm pulled over to get checked out while the arab behind me does not. You don't see a lot of people worried about hurting my feelings, do you?

It's insanity.

Seven die in toilet accident

Five neighbours then rushed to the men's aid, lowering themselves into the pit, but succumbed to poisoning caused by accumulated gas, the site said.

Sounds like one of our road trips.

There is No Clash of Civilizations...

You may have already seen this clip, but I just did after someone pointed it out to me. It's brilliant. I'd love to see the whole thing unedited, because this woman hits the nail squarely on the head.

It is a clash between two opposites, between two eras. It is a clash between a mentality that belongs to the Middle Ages and another mentality that belongs to the 21st century. It is a clash between civilization and backwardness, between the civilized and the primitive, between barbarity and rationality. It is a clash between freedom and oppression, between democracy and dictatorship. It is a clash between human rights, on the one hand, and the violation of these rights, on other hand. It is a clash between those who treat women like beasts, and those who treat them like human beings. What we see today is not a clash of civilizations. Civilizations do not clash, but compete.

There's a brief appearance of some imam-looking guy who falls back to his dogma, and she sets him straight, but pronto. Watch it.

Sunday Night Football?

Is this weird or what? Yeah, I know it's only pre-season, but it's nice to have pro football back on TV. But watching Al and John on NBC, on Sunday night, is just plain weird.

For Outlaw 13

And all other Jack Bauer fans....

H/T to Kit.

Best Japanese Game Show Ever

Do as I say, not as I do

Is there anyone out there in reality land that is not surprised to find out that "Earth in the Lurch" author AlGore isn't nearly as green as he'd like to MAKE the rest of us be?

And to think this jackass was *that* close to being the President of the United States.

4x4 stump shoot

tell me this video does not look like fun!! Take several 4x4's, a bunch of guys with guns, and I'd say several hundred rounds of ammo, and see what happens next...

Video courtesy of Henning's site.

Amorous woman falls through floor of house

Funny thing - the article says nothing about a partner.

When this lady goes down, she really goes down, huh?

That's about it. I'm done.

Four penguins die after truck carrying Indy Zoo birds crashes

Awww. The cute penguins got killed near Marshall.

Four penguins traveling from the Indianapolis Zoo to a zoo in Texas died Tuesday in a truck accident. Two zoo employees suffered minor injuries when the truck overturned on a highway near Marshall in east Texas.

Oh, yeah - there were people injured, too. They don't say where it happened, but I'm guessing it was I-20, where there are more morons per mile than should be allowed. Slow down, people - save the penguins.

Save the jokes on how they blew a seal, k? BTW, with a little marinade, I hear they taste like chicken.

Reuters withdraws all photos by Lebanese freelance

After finding that two photographs that were posted by a Lebanese photographer that put the terrorists in a positive light and the Israelis in a negative light, Reuters pulls every photograph in its database by this so called "photo journalist".

Good for them - I think that's a step in the right direction. It's also called closing the barn door after the horse got out.

The one burning question that I have after learning of this is simple:

Has the news media been manipulating doctored photographs forever, all the while claiming they are "objective"? Is this a case that they are only now getting caught?

I mean, think of the impact that famous photographs have had on the national conscience. Think of the photographs that turned the American people against the war in Vietnam. How many of them were doctored to give a particular spin?

More and more the media needs to be put back in its place because what I know now is that they are failing us terribly.

KaleCoAuto, Hard to find automotive items!

This site is great. I was looking for a flux capacitor for my Honda, and not only found that, but a lot of other really good stuff, like muffler bearings, a tampon dispenser (for automatics), and a passenger noise reducer.

Texas School District Bans Cleavage

"It's gotten bad enough that, unfortunately, our young males are looking at more than their English book, their speech book, their science book," says school board president Sherri Wade. "And it's kind of nice to have something left to the imagination."

So, by this logic, we could get males to pay more attention to their books if they had boobies in them? Wait a minute - I think I see what's going on here...

While most parents support the new rule, some worry that enforcing it could be a challenge. "I think that's going to be a little tricky, because it puts a little bit of a policeman approach to the educators, and they really need to focus more on teaching," said Tom Pederson, AISD parent.

So we're encouraging the faculty to look at cleavage, but discouraging students from it? Sounds like trouble to me, based on the number of teachers being brought up on sex charges these days. Maybe it's not the kids that are the problem?

Loaded Gun Found on Back of Bank Toilet

You know what I would've done had I found a security guard's gun on a toilet seat? That's right - headed straight for the gun show, and added to my open gun fund.

If anyone would like to contribute to that fund, I'll be setting up a PayPal account soon.

Gun-Toting Granny Still Firing at Age 82

Go, Granny, go! Take it from a guy who has been beaten by a girl (The Girl) more times than he cares to count - smack-talk stings a little.

Roherty admits she sometimes can't resist asking competitors, "You let an old lady beat you?"

Double ouch.

OK GO!

Pretty funny video.

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

Outdoor workers can't escape beating sun

I swear I could work at a major newspaper. Here's a synopsis of this incredible piece of reporting: if you work outside, the sun will shine on you. Seriously.

Not only is this a fascinating news piece, but there's a human element:

She looks forward to going home to the Northwestside after a long day in the sun.

“I dive into my pool,” she said. “The first thing I do is get into the water.”

Must be a slow news day in Indy.

Qana?

I'm sure you've all heard, read, or seen reports about the tradgedy in Qana as part of the ongoing Israeli ass-kicking offensive against the terrorists.

I've heard rumors that the whole thing was staged by the terrorists, who have not been above using their own kids and families to get at the infidel in the past.

These pictures, in my opinion, go a long way towards verifying the whole thing was a sham put on by Hezbollah. Make up your own mind, but beware, the pictures are graphic and show images of dead children.

Castro Hospitalized

Click here for the truth about what happened to Fidel Castro.

3 Guns, 3 X the fun!

For your viewing pleasure...
















First person to correctly identify the 3 gun category this trio fits in wins a gold star!!

Gitmo Guards Often Attacked by Detainees

Those poor mistreated prisoners at Gitmo.

How'd you like to have feces, urine, or vomit thrown on you? I am absolutely amazed at the restraint shown by our troops.

In my opinion, we should turn the Gitmo operation over to Sherriff Joe Arpaio. I'd be willing to bet this bullshit would stop within a week. Put 'em all in pink; get rid of the rooms and put 'em out in tents; feed 'em bolonga (yeah, sorry if there's pork in there fellas) and at the first sign of unrest, remind them who'd in charge.

But that's just me.

Wheelchair Assault

Yet another reason I'm glad I'm not a cop. I don't know that I could have taken this report without laughing my ass off..... From the Denton Record Chronicle (registration required, so I copied it for your convenience.)

Retirement home resident reports wheelchair assault
07:16 AM CDT on Friday, July 28, 2006

Staff report

A 72-year-old woman told police Wednesday that another elderly woman rammed her several times with a wheelchair. The victim said she walked out to the mailboxes of her retirement center in the 300 block of Coronado Street to pick up her mail and also collect mail for another resident. The other woman rolled up in her electric wheelchair and told her to get out of her way, the victim said. She told the woman she would move as soon as she collected her friend's mail. The other woman powered up the wheelchair and rammed into her, she said. Then she backed up and rammed her twice more. The victim told her to stop and an argument ensued. The victim turned the suspect's wheelchair in a different direction to avoid being struck again, but the suspect turned it around and hit her one more time. This assault occurred a few months ago but she waited to file a police report, hoping to settle the problem through the retirement community, but had no success, she said.

Donna Fielder
Denton County Crime Stoppers will pay a reward of up to $1,00for informationon leading to arrests in these or other crimes. Callers will remain anonymous. Call 1-800-388-TIPS (8477).

Strippers plan trip down New Braunfels river

So, ah...weren't we planning on a team trip down the Guadalupe, Blanco, or Comal river? I think we should revisit that idea...

Spammers

I hate spammers. I hate their every incarnation. Today, I'm hating one in particular, because he's invaded one of our Yahoo Groups to advertise his world-record attempts. What's he attempting, you ask? Hot-dog eating? High-jumps? Having 70 virgins slap his ass non-stop for 12 hours? No.

Now i am preparing for next world record of 101 hours marathon typing on a computer on 10 august 2006 in lal bahadur indoor stadium.

Seriously, who gives a red monkey butt about that? He's that kid who goes to jump off the diving board and screams, "hey, MOM! Lookit ME! Lookit ME, MOM!!," until everyone in the pool yells at the mother to "LOOK at him, before we all KILL him!" He's not even trying to sell me anything (oh, wait - need to buy some insurance?), but he's asking me to validate his paper-rocket-making, marathon-typing life?

And don't get me started on all the other email spam I get. Apparently, it's no longer enough to get English-language crap, but now I'm getting Spanish, Russian, and Thai(!) spam, written in the native gibberish that I've no desire to even attempt to decipher. If I need Vietnamese-produced bird-flu anti-viral medicine, guess what? I'll go to my doctor and ask for LEGAL drugs. Here's an example from an email I got today:

* єШ¤¤Е·СиЗд» ¤иТНєГБ 2,950 єТ·
* КБТЄФЎ Zolito Coffee Club ¤иТНєГБ 2,650 єТ·
К№гЁКНє¶ТБўйНБЩЕаѕФиБаµФБдґй·ХиЛБТВаЕў 02-715-0801-3 ЛГЧН
Info www.zolito.com

Coffee Club?

The death penalty for spammers. Make it so.

'Disabled' fans ejected for dancing

At first I thought this was just another funny headline, but it gets better.

Three Argentinian football fans were thrown out of their team's World Cup clash with Holland for pretending to be disabled. The fans bought wheelchairs and then bought special cheap tickets reserved for disabled fans to get into the match. But their ruse was discovered when one of the trio got carried away by the game and started jumping up and down.

That's genius, but the funniest thing is this...

"Our friend couldn't stop jumping and a person near us thought there was a miracle happening."

Tailor-made condoms

Individually tailored condoms that are anatomically designed to fit each penis perfectly are going on sale in Germany.

Thanks goodness, those Magnum condoms I've been using are really tight.

Gothe said: "These condoms will fit so well you will hardly notice you are wearing one. We can make them wafer thin or fist thick and 'engrave' them with your signature wrapped around the base."

Fist thick?

Men Assume Sexual Interest When There May Be None

Here's an article that I'm sure the ladies here will get a kick out of, whereas I think it's a lesson in overtly obvious over-generalization, based on social norms established by one's environment. More succinctly, it's a bunch of plain-as-the-nose-on-your-face BS. Who gets paid to say crap like this?

Levesque doesn't know why all the men in the study seemed to over-sexualize women, but he speculated that "it's got to be something about socialization, that men are being taught in some way to view women as sexual objects."

Well, I think that's mostly a load of crap. It might be that some men have a somewhat inflated self-image, sure. Or is it that men tend to be horn-dogs?

"If he found her to be physically attractive, he would tend to rate her as sexier," he said, adding that other studies have found the same over-sexualization effect and that men give physically attractive women higher marks for sexiness.

Oh, wait. Maybe, just maybe, it's because some men think of sex more than women.

I've got only this to say:

3 NYC Cops Shot in Friendly Fire Incident

This is why the infamous Glock "New York" trigger was invented:

Three police officers were accidentally shot Sunday as one or more officers took aim at a pit bull attacking a member of their crew, police said.

Evidently, no sort of firearms training is required in New York, so they try to make the guns safer. Guess that didn't work, either.

Prepared to astronauts them die

Another fabulous headline from Australia. WTF?

Wonder if they'll fix it before this gets all around the world?

Shooting, part deaux

Quick stage from the match today at Elm Fork; about the only stage I ran worth a crap today. If you ever work or MD a match, you pretty much are going to get hosed and today was no exception... But, that's just part of the deal and it's the least I can do to give back to the sport that entertains me so much.

Shooting???

Finally, something shooting oriented!! Here's a stage from Wichita Falls yesterday....

16

According to court records and Anderson's confession, he forced the girl to accompany him into the house and tried to rape her, then choked her and beat her with a footstool. When he discovered she still was alive, he drowned her in a bathtub. He stuffed her body into a large foam cooler, pushed the cooler along the street in a grocery cart and dumped it in a trash bin.

Euro Trip; part II

Leaving Athens we were greeted with yet another fantastic sunset.

It was easy to picture in my mind the great battle that took place in and around these waters - in the straits between Salamis and Piraeus - in 480 BC. In the first great defeat of Xerxes' Persian Empire, the Athenian navy defeated a significantly larger Persian fleet; setting the stage for the major land battle at Plataea where a large force of Spartans, Athenians and other Greek states annihilated the Persian army. But... I digress. Considering that the Battle of Salamis has been called by many historians as the most important battle in western civilization, I'm sure you can understand the awe I had for those waters.

After an overnight cruise to the island of Mykonos, we debarked and set out on a tour around the island. The main town on the island was also called Mykonos; and it was a fantastic little town right on the water with an ancient port.

They said the streets of the city were deliberately twisty, narrow and meandering on purpose, to get the occasional raiders lost and confused. Regardless of the reason, the streets and alleys were quiet pleasant, and very pleasing to walk around.

Mykonos is well known for its churches(Greek Orthodox), of which there were many. All of them were pretty tiny, with space for a congregation of only 20 or so people.

We took a quick boat ride to the island of Delos. Words honestly cannot describe the awe I felt there. Delos was a sacred island before the Greeks created their system of gods and goddesses. For the Greeks, they claimed their god of the sun - Apollo - was born on that island; in addition, other cultures also built temples there - the Egyptians built a temple to Isis as well, you can see it in the valley in the center of the hills here.

It was simply boggling to my mind to be walking on a street that someone else was walking on over 2000 years ago.

Simply boggling.

Next stop.... Croatia!

Man shot during robbery, police say

The sheer karmic beauty of this story leaves me breathless.

A man who tried to rob a Greenfield gun shop at knifepoint Thursday afternoon was shot in the chest by the shop owner, police said.

Imagine, if you will, what must have been going through a person's mind that led to this act of lunacy. "I have a knife, and I'm going to rob a gun store." Good plan. Only one problem: there are guns in gun stores, and gun store owners usually carry guns.

He said the store owner, 44, shot the man once in the chest and that apparently no one else was inside the store when the shooting took place. The store owner was not injured.

A Darwin Award nominee, for sure.

Jump!

Michelle Malkin talks about some crap, then SHE JUMPS ON A TRAMPOLINE.

You're welcome.

Euro Trip; part I

Last week I was able to take a fantastic European vacation. My wife, father, stepmother and little brother took a cruise to the cradle of western civilization; leaving from Venice and sailing to Athens and a couple of small Greek islands; hitting Dubrovnik and then finishing up with a full day in Venice. It was simply magnificent!!

I didn't have a bad meal on the trip, was able to see some absolutely fantastic sights, and met a lot of nice folks; except of course, for the Frogs. It was nice to see that the ugly American has been replaced by the ugly Frenchman - who was universally despised by everyone.

Our first stop on the trip was to Athens. What can you say? Athens is the cradle of western democracy, philosophy, architecture and so on and so on. I think what stunned me more than anything else is that there I was, walking around where only a few thousand years ago people like Aristotle, Socrates, Alcibiades, Xenophon and practically anyone else from classical history walked and lived their lives. It was, frankly, humbling. What visit to Athens would be complete without seeing the Parthenon, the temple to the Greek god Athena on top of the Acropolis?

It was funny to learn that the temple was built in about 9 years time - but the Greeks have been trying to restore it for the last 20-25 years or so!!
A short distance away from the base of the Acropolis was a temple to Zeus - you could clearly see the temple from the top of the Acropolis and vice versa. Stunning. Simply stunning.

We then piled into our guide’s van and headed over to the main Greek museum in Athens. Again, all I can say is, wow. Agamemnon’s mask was there (although it couldn’t possibly have been Agamemnon, but the name given to it originally when it was discovered stuck…)

There were hundreds of statues there, and let’s just put it this way - all the stuff that you see in art books or history books - was in this museum. I am not what I would consider to be an artsy person but I was simply overwhelmed.

We concluded our day in the Plaka - a huge shopping and eating area that is among the oldest places in Athens. It’s here that I had probably the best meal on the trip - a gyro sandwich with traditional pita bread and shredded pork - but what made this gyro so damn good was the Tzatziki sauce, which is made from yogurt, spices, and sliced cucumbers. This Tzatziki sauce was completely different, and had some mustard in it, not to mention being a little sweet.

Next stop, Mykonos!

Cornholing tourney planned in Terry

Another great headline.

Registration will begin at 1 p.m. at Murn Park with competition beginning at 3p.m. The registration fee is $10 per team, and the tournament is limited to 64 teams.

Better Terry than me.

Garage door remote triggers man's erection

Seeing how I am usually hornier than a three peckered billy goat, a strong breeze might do it for me sometime, but never a garage door opener.

An anonymous Merseyside man who had an implant to "help with erection problems" has found he becomes uncontrollably aroused every time his neighbour pulls up in his 4X4, the Scottish Daily Record reports. "It's not funny for me, when I can't leave the house because I'm walking around with a big erection. "

Indeed.

Deputies terminated after scandalous acts

I always thought the living was easier in places like Bandera, TX. Apparently, more than the living is easy.

Deputy Amy Price was relieved of her duties June 27, following a complaint filed against her by Bandera County resident Brett Day. On June 25, Day arrived at his Lakehills home to find his wife, sheriff's dispatcher Kimberly Day, hosting a gathering-of-sorts with sheriff's deputy David Moore, Price, another sheriff's dispatcher and her husband, and Texas Ranger Lance Coleman.

I'm guesssing it wasn't a Tupperware party.

According to Chief Deputy Don Berger, Day found his wife in a "compromising position" with another individual present. After taking photographs, a disturbance reportedly broke out between Brett and Kimberly Day, Moore and Price. Sheriff's Office deputies responded to a 9-1-1 call issued by Day at approximately 2:30 a.m.

Okay, maybe they were playing Twister.

The Great John Daly

JR's post on Wie got me thinking about the well conditioned golfer. Sure, there are some, but give me the John Dalys of the world to root for.
This is a man with natural ability who truly doesn't care about anything but doing what he enjoys, like drinking, playing golf, gambling, and eating. The Great John Daly has won two Majors. The first one he showed up in a Buick station wagon with a girl he barely knew and had an extreme hangover. He won it. He also won the British Open played at the goat range known as St. Andrews.
I love this picture of him. He is sporting a massive hangover (over his belt), he is sponsored by 84 Lumber, and has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Heat exhaustion forces Wie to withdraw from Deere Classic

Michelle Wie may be hot, but she can't take the heat.

The temperature Friday afternoon was 88, with the sun and humidity making it feel as if it was five degrees warmer. Wie teed off shortly before 2 p.m. CDT, and was looking listless by the time she approached the fifth green. She sat on her bag with her head bowed, a towel to her face, until it was her turn to putt.

Gee, you'd think she was a teenage girl with that kind of drama. Oh, yeah.

As I type this, it's 86 degrees outside, with 62% humidity - that's a temperature/humidity index of 91 degrees. I just ran 3 miles, and I'm OLD. It'll be 101 here in North Texas today.

Golf. It produces some real athletes.

Crack was disguised as chips

Mmm...a tasty new variation: Crack-flavored Pringles.

[Austin] Police then obtained a search warrant for Landry's car where they found 168 grams of crack cocaine. The drugs were hidden in potato chip containers and shaped like wafers.

I bet the Austin police were disappointed to find drugs in the Pringles can, anticipating a snack.

Betcha can't eat just one!

Zidane Compilation

Updated! This one is even better.

Nation's Capital Declares Crime Emergency

Two groups of tourists were robbed at gunpoint on the National Mall, just hours after the police chief declared a crime emergency in the city in response to a string of violence that included the killing of a British activist.

But...but...

On Tuesday night, two women from Texas were robbed at gunpoint by two men dressed in all black, said U.S. Park Police Sgt. Scott Fear. About 15 minutes later, a family of four from Missouri was robbed by suspects with the same description, he said.

This can't be! Guns are illegal in Washington, D.C.! How can crime be increasing?

Robberies are up 14 percent, and armed assaults have jumped 18 percent in the past 30 days.

I guess I'm just not as smart as the politicians who banned guns in D.C. I know I'm just a common citizen, and I know they're elected officials that represent their constituency, but damned if I can see the sense in this whole situation.

Japanese gadget records, replicates odor

The new device, developed by scientists at the Tokyo Institute of Technology, analyzes smells through 15 sensors, records the odor's recipe in digital format and then reproduces the scent by mixing 96 chemicals and vaporizing the result.

That sounds a whole lot more complicated than just farting into a zip lock baggy.

School District Bans Mouth Jewelry

Ho-hum. We posted this way back in February of 2005. Gold, diamond, and SPINNER teeth. Those whacky teens:

"Really, a grill is just like an earring. It's fashion," said Sam Houston junior Devonte Wright, 16.

Amen, Devonte. Amen.

"If they bought it, they should be able to wear it," said Sam Houston senior LaVeda Antwine, 17.

Preach on, LaVeda!

Leave it to some mean, crusty old administrator to lay down the law:

"We want to instill in them a sense of modesty and a sense of community," said school board trustee Gloria Pena. "We're preparing them for the work force, and in the work force there are rules."

Yes, there are. Such as: you must wear your name tag at all times while serving fresh, hot, tasty food.

Explosion of joy in Rome as Italy wins World Cup

Thanks god it's over. I thought it would never end. I can't believe how popular this sport is around the world. The only thing more boring than Track is Field, but soccer runs a close third.

Only 18 days until the Cowboys start training camp!

Ka-boom!

Wanna see something really scary?This belongs to our friend Patty, and she was shooting with us today in Greenville. She had a squib round (primer, but no powder) that ejected the bullet a short distance down the barrel. She then fired another round that struck the bullet already in the barrel. The result was nothing short of catastrophic for her after-market (not a Glock) barrel. I've seen a few KBs, but nothing that has split the barrel the entire length. This one was a doozy. Patty got a little bruise on her left hand, nothing more. Not sure if the rest of the gun was salvageable, but it appeared to be okay. I expect they're going to need to replace a few things (I'd have to replace my underwear...). I also expect they want to invest in a powder-checker. The rest of us hand-loaders are knocking on wood, because this really could happen to anyone.

Safety tip: if the round you just fired doesn't sound just right, go ahead and be paranoid. If there's no bullet stuck in the chamber, you'll get a reshoot if the RO thought so, too. If so, well - you probably just saved your gun. Safety/Range Officers: you should be watching the gun, not the targets. I don't know who the RO was during this incident, but I wonder if he/she recognized what was happening. If you've seen it once, you KNOW when it happens, and you need to react quickly to prevent a problem.

All in all, everyone was okay, but the gun is a bit of a mess. Thank goodness nobody was hurt.

Something Tells Me He Didn't Make It

The Six Most Feared but Least Likely Causes of Death

This article is just for my pal Catfish, who has a fear of at least 3 of these things. He's going on a trip, where he's liable to be in a plane crash and survive crashing into the ocean, only to be eaten by a shark. The shark will throw him up, and he'll wash up on shore, where he'll be kidnapped by terrorists, who will murder him by tossing him off a cliff, which will then cause an earthquake. But he won't care by then.

The Declaration of Independence

Happy Birthday, America.

Take a moment away from your beer and brisket today, and read the Declaration. Complain if you like about how things are today, but at least consider what got us here in the first place. It's a very powerful document, and helps us today to understand the outrageous wrongs foisted on the Colonies by the King of England. It's proof that people will only live under tyranny for so long before rising up against it.

U.S. Pins Wiener-Eating Hopes on Chestnut

The biggest challenge of his life awaits Joey Chestnut on the Fourth of July - and he doesn't want to choke.

Mercy. I want to write for a newswire.

Hey, Look! A Monkey!

Pigs die in trailers parked at Texas border

Texas One-hundred-thirty-five pigs en route from Ohio to Mexico have been found dead inside trucks waiting to go through border inspection in Texas.

I understand you can get a great deal on ribs at the local truckstop.

Texas Tops Nation's Dry-Eye Spots

We're number one!

Apparently, the eyes of Texas are red and itchy.

"With the heat, patients particularly spend a lot of time in air-conditioned environments. The air conditioning leads to less humidity, which in turn leads to the dry eye."

Well, that explains it. The transplanted, out-of-state weenies that can't take the heat go inside, then get all pasty white and red-eyed, and next thing you know, we've got a bad rap.

You kids need to go outside where I've been the last couple of days. Sure, it's hot - but at least it's really humid.

Mounties to marry in N.S. in first-ever union of two male RCMP officers

Reaction to the wedding - the first between two male RCMP officers - has befuddled the couple, who have been overwhelmed by interview requests from reporters and congratulations from well-wishers they've never met.

Brokeback Mounties? Dudley Do-right must be spinning in his cartoon grave.

Mom Accused Of Leaving Baby Home Alone To Buy Beer

Dammit, people. You cannot expect your children to buy your beer.

Doesn't anyone proofread anymore?

Operation removes lightbulb from anus

Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus. Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.
"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else,"
He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

Maybe his colon got an idea about something.

There is a nice picture of the x-ray.

Me and You and a Really Horny Bear Named Boo

He said the bear bashed a nearly 400-pound steel door off its four bolts, destroyed an electrical box while tearing through two electric fences and scrambled over a 12-foot fence anchored with 2 feet of steel below ground.

"I think he just kept charging it (the door) and charging it until it broke off its bolts," Dalzell said. "Everything was completely trashed. We are dealing with a pretty smart and determined bear."

Poor Boo. Determined my arse - that bear wants a taste of something, and I'm betting it's not freedom.

Lucky #13

The great state of Texas has rid the world of one more useless wad of flesh. A real charmer, Resendiz was convicted of brutally killing Claudia Benton in 1998, and was linked to at least 15 murders near train tracks across the country.

Resendiz’s lead appeals lawyer, Jack Zimmermann, had argued that his client, who described himself as half-man and half-angel, told psychiatrists he couldn’t be executed because he didn’t believe he could die.

Heh. Guess he was wrong. Go Texas!

Gator-guzzling python comes to messy end - Science - MSNBC.com

Talk about heartburn. I just thought it was a bizarre picture and had to share.

Wait, Don't Shoot! I Forgot My Password!

@ Alice Hill's Real Tech News - Independent Tech

Another brilliant plan to prevent evil guns from shooting people all by themselves.

The way to make firearms really safe, says Hebert Meyerle of Germany, is to password-protect the ammunition itself.

Meyerle is patenting a design for a modified cartridge that would be fired by a burst of high-frequency radio energy. But the energy would only ignite the charge if a solid-state switch within the cartridge had been activated. This would only happen if a password entered into the gun using a tiny keypad matched one stored in the cartridge.

The best part of this article is the comment section. Looks like most geeks are pro-gun!

What a great idea! We could also use this technology on Rosie O’Donnell’s fork, Jimmy Swaggart’s Bible, Ozzie’s liquor bottles, Ted Kennedy’s cars, Dick Cheney’s shotguns, … We can finally eradicate stupidity and dysfunction without any twinge of personal responsibility. Sound familiar?

Smuggled Child Camel Jockeys Sent Home

Wow, that has to be the most racist headline I have ever read.

Larry The Cable Fraud

MILF to hunt down Islamic militants in Mindanao

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Redneck Hillbilly Video

True greatness.

Texas man earns $65,000 in Big Bass Splash

And just in case you're feeling too good about yourself, here's a story that shows how wrong life can be. In a sport where you can't be too drunk to compete, a mans pulls this down:

His 12.38-pound catch earned him the hourly first-place award of $1,500 during the noon "T-shirt bonus hour" on Friday plus a brand new Hummer and Triton TR176 bass boat at Sunday's ceremony -- almost $65,000 in cash and prizes

I have no idea what a "T-shirt bonus hour" is, nor do I want to know, but dammit all to hell - it pays off, apparently.

The second place overall bass for the weekend weighed in at 10.76 pounds and won a black Dodge pickup truck Ricky Broadman of Marthaville. Eddie Rhea of DeRidder won a Cherokee travel trailer for his third place 10.25 pound-catch and Alexandria's Tri Brewer placed fifth and received a Honda ATV for a 9.46-pound bass.

The last time I went fishing, all I got was a sunburn and an ass-chewing.

Life isn't fair, people.

Aggressive Peacocks Ruffle Texas Feathers

Oh, my mercy.

With attacks reported on people and cars, residents of an Arlington neighborhood say a flock of peacocks has become uncharacteristically aggressive as four males seek the attention of one hen.

Won't someone think of the children?

One woman said her daughter was scratched on the stomach by one of the peacocks.

The humanity.

But wait, what's this?

"What happens sometimes is the peacock male will see its reflection in the car's paint and think it's another male peacock, then move to protect his territory."

Well, that tears it. With a little tequila-lime marinade, and a good mesquite wood fire, them's good eatin'!

Transvestite gang pesters Magazine Street

I wonder if this is the REAL reason school bus Nagin called out the National Guard??

And I cannot begin to imagine how anyone could write an article like this without laughing their asses off...

To wit:

Ogle and Bonga say they regret being forced to resort to such profiling but they feel they have no other choice. The transvestites, Ogle said, appear to be drug-addicted and fearless in their lust for designer shoes, jackets and jewelry.

giggle. snort.

This Week's Prostitution Photos -- Saint Paul Police

Remember, boys and girls: drugs are bad, m'kay?

Dallas Action Pistol Shooters

I suppose we should've hung a "Gone Fishing" sign on the blog for the last week. We've been busy, and the web geek (that's me) has been working extra hard at both the real job, and the job of standing up a new website for our brand new USPSA club here in Dallas.

Come on over to our new site, and take a look at the fun we have shooting. There's pictures, video, arguments, all kinds of stuff.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

This just in

D Wade just took a shot in the paint and miraculously, a foul was not called on the Mavericks.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Lawrence of Suburbia: Lawn care without lacerations

Pretty funny little article.

NEVER use a weed whacker in the nude.

Amen, brother.

Tourist Dies After 500-foot fall in Yellowstone National Park

Have you ever driven over a bridge in Texas and seen the "No Fishing From Bridge" signs? Ever wonder why they're there?

Signs are usually put up because someone was stupid enough to do something...well...really stupid.

Park officials say a woman lost her footing after stepping over a retaining wall to take a picture and went over a cliff, falling 500 feet to her death in a canyon.

I wonder if they developed the pictures?

Stupid is as stupid does

"The entire country may disagree with me, but I don't understand the necessity for patriotism," Maines resumes, through gritted teeth. "Why do you have to be a patriot? About what? This land is our land? Why? You can like where you live and like your life, but as for loving the whole countryÂ… I don't see why people care about patriotism."

The Dixie Chicks just keep getting dumber and dumber. They apparently haven't learned the lesson of just show up, sing, and go home.

The fact that these nimwits can't understand the concept of patriotism doesa lott to explain their mental capacity. Or lack thereof.

Hillary OKs ‘loving couple’ strategy for 2008

Wow, is anyone surprised that the Clintons have to actually act like they have a loving relationship? Why in the wide wide world of sports would they have to put on this illusion unless the opposite were true?

I mean, can you imagine a similar story about George and Laura Bush? That's because there's no doubt about their feelings, #1, and #2, the Bush's didn't have to make their relationship a story.

The Clintons are truly pathetic and the thought of the Hildabeast in charge makes me want to vomit.

IPSC Jihad

Dirka Dirka Mohammed jihad!

This video will have you spewing Dr. Pepper all over your screen....

For geeks everywhere

Check out this vid of a meteorite hitting the moon. Pretty cool!

Phoenix sweats most but Miami suffers more

Phoenix on Wednesday was named the sweatiest city in the United States, but Miami topped the list as the most uncomfortable American city due to its mix of humidity and heat.

Obviously these people have never been to the armpit of Texas, most commonly referred to as Houston.

Busy busy

Sorry for the slow blogging on my part lately; luckily JR and the Big D are keeping things going....
Trying to keep up with a VERY active lab pup is certainly taking a toll on my blogging efforts the past few weeks!!

Here's some things I've been reading lately though that I thought you might enjoy:

And you thought bat wings were only something you saw in a James Bond or Batman movie?? Think again!!

Algore has been taking some pretty massive hits about his bogus global warming catastrophe. There's been two stories in the past couple of weeks, both solidly refuting the whole sky is falling BS that is spewed daily from the econazis.

Story 1 starts with one of the best introductory paragraphs ever:

You'll often hear the left lecture about the importance of dissent in a free society. Why not give it a whirl? Start by challenging global warming hysteria next time you're at a LoDo cocktail party and see what happens. Admittedly, I possess virtually no expertise in science. That puts me in exactly the same position as most dogmatic environmentalists who want to craft public policy around global warming fears.

The article goes on to quote a 1975 Newsweek article that states the following:

"Climatologists," reads the piece, "are pessimistic that political leaders will take any positive action to compensate for the climatic change. ... The longer the planners delay, the more difficult will they find it to cope with climatic change once the results become grim reality."

But...... the article is not talking about global warming. No, dear reader, it's talking about a coming ICE AGE! Read the whole thing.

Story 2 has caused me to rethink my attitude about our friends to the north.

"Gore's circumstantial arguments are so weak that they are pathetic. It is simply ncredible that they, and his film, are commanding public attention.

You know, those of us here at the Tattler have been saying as much since day 1. It's good to see someone else reporting it. I'm taking bets as to how long we'll go before we see this reported, or even mentioned in the New York Times or on CNN.

And, on a gun related note, I installed - check that - Brad installed a new front sight on my Limited blaster yesterday - a Dawson fiber optic. I've tried a fiber optic before, 3-4 years ago and wasn't too thrilled with it. This fiber, though, is significantly smaller/thinner than the last blob of light I used so we'll see if I like it or not. In addition, I picked up this front sight off the prize table at a match last weekend so if it doesn't pan out I'm not out any $$$.Match report Saturday night...

Bugs Bunny sparks security alert

Here's a gun-related post for a change.

Ms. Vinnicombe, 34, was told the toy was technically a 'weapon' and would have to be registered at the firearms desk.

And what IS this scary "toy" gun? A pellet gun? An airsoft gun? A replica look-alike gun?

A girl of six triggered a security scare at an airport – with a pink Bugs Bunny water pistol rammed full of sweets.

A candy-filled, bright pink, Bugs Bunny water pistol. I can certainly see why the authorities were alarmed. It's a slippery slope from pink candy toy pistols to armed hijackers. Lord knows she fit the profile for terrorists.

A Cape Town airport spokeswoman insisted: 'It's better to be safe than sorry.'

Amen, Miss Airport Safety Lady. We can all sleep better tonight knowing that 6-year-old terrorists can't put one over on airport security.

Who's the Idiot of the Week?

I missed this one earlier this week. Looks like Terrell Owens is leading the polls by a wide margin.

And then there's Dallas Cowboy Terrell Owens, who ticked off fans of his new adopted city by wearing a Shaquille O'Neal Miami jersey at the Dallas-Miami game last night ... a day after showing up eight hours late for his own youth football camp!

Roethlisberger in hospital after motorcycle accident

Steelers quarterback , Ben Roethlisberger, who has said he dislikes wearing a motorcycle helmet, was seriously injured in a motorcycle crash and taken to a hospital Monday.

Over the course of my life I have, on many occasions, done a lot of things that were viewed by some people, as reckless and dangerous. I was lucky to make it through my teens without suffering serious injury. After growing into adulthood, I still did dangerous things, but after gaining a certain maturity I assessed everything with a risk vs. reward mindset, and did what I could to minimize the risk while still being able to enjoy the reward. I have been a motorcyclist since I was 16. Even back then I was smart enough to know that you need to wear a helmet. I know that wearing a helmet is a choice we all get to make, but let me put this as plainly as I can.

If you throw a leg over a motorcycle and you are not wearing a helmet, you are an idiot!

Gravity and the forces of nature are a bitch. When you are at their mercy, you have no control over what happens next. More than likely, your head will hit something that is harder. The harder object will win the battle and you will break the hearts of everybody in your life. I think the choice to not wear a helmet is more of a vanity thing than a freedom thing. Get over yourself and put on a damn helmet! If you choose not to wear a helmet, do somebody a favor and fill out your organ donor card.

Des Moines' well-endowed flood control

Because there can never be too many dick jokes:

City design with a vast difference

And this one:

The nearly four-acre basin was constructed about two years ago and "took some of the load off of the pipe downstream"

Man accused of crashing UBS servers

Note to management: do no piss off your IT staff.

He created the logic bomb which would delete all the files in the host server in the central data centre and then every server in every branch. Some 2,000 servers did go down and 400 branch offices were hit. Backup systems did not work and files were deleted.

"So what?," you might say.

A US court has heard how a disgruntled IT manager allegedly wiped out all UBS Paine Webber servers for a day leaving traders unable to trade because he was unhappy with his bonus.

Ouch.

Nonetheless, I don't feel sorry for this guy:

Roger Duronio was paid a salary of $125,000 by the bank and was expecting a bonus of $50,000. When he only got $32,000 he decided to take revenge on the bank, prosecutors claim.

I'm sure he'll get a dose of reality in Federal PMITA prison.

Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi Killed in Air Raid

Adios, mother f*cker!

Study says millions have 'rage' disorder

I think the "researchers" that did this study missed the real cause of road rage. It's caused by stupid assholes who drive 50 mph in the left-hand lane, because the slow lane is apparently the left lane where they come from, those stupid bunch of inbred, 2 bucket-of-chicken-eating, cousin-marrying, mouth-breathing, trailer-dwelling pederasts, who shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car in the first place. Dammit. Of course, "scientists" have their own explanations:

Coccaro said the disorder involves inadequate production or functioning of serotonin, a mood-regulating and behavior-inhibiting brain chemical. Treatment with antidepressants, including those that target serotonin receptors in the brain, is often helpful, along with behavior therapy akin to anger management, Coccaro said.

Wait - you can get drugs for having this? Cool. But wait, there's more. This disorder has a name:

For a couple of decades, intermittent explosive disorder, or IED, has been included in the manual psychiatrists use to diagnose mental illness, though with slightly different names and criteria. That has contributed to misunderstanding and underappreciation of the disorder, said Coccaro, a study co-author.

IED. Where have I heard that before?

The Concealed Handgun Law: Ten Years Later

I missed this article when it came out - a friend referred me to it today. It's a testament to the effectiveness of the CHL laws in Texas, and a testament to the anti-gunner's folly.

Ten years later the facts paint a different picture. Texas under the Concealed Handgun Law isn’t the Wild West, but the Mild West. No recurrent shootouts at four-way stops, no blood in the streets. Quite the contrary, Texans are safer than before.

There are even stats to back this up:

Since the passage of the Concealed Handgun Law, the FBI Uniform Crime Report shows an 18% drop in handgun murders, down from 838 in 1995 to 688 in 2004. And a 32% drop in handgun murders per 100,000 population, down from 4.5 murders per 100,000 Texans in 1995 to 3.08 per 100,000 in 2004.

Not only that, but it proves those of us with CHLs are actually good, responsible citizens:

According to the report, the more than 200,000 Texans licensed to carry a concealed firearm are much more law-abiding than the average person.

The report illustrated that Texans who exercise their right to carry firearms are 5.7 times less likely to be arrested for a violent offense. They are 14 times less likely to be arrested for a non-violent offense. And they are 1.4 times less likely to be arrested for murder.

My favorite part of the whole article is the quote from John Holmes (no, not that John Holmes), former Harris County DA:

"As you know, I was very outspoken in my opposition to the passage of the Concealed Handgun Act. I did not feel that such legislation was in the public interest and presented a clear and present danger to law abiding citizens by placing more handguns on our streets," Holmes wrote. "Boy was I wrong. Our experience in Harris County, and indeed state-wide, has proven my initial fears absolutely groundless."

The biggest point of this whole article is that a government should spend more time legislating crime, and less time legislating law-abiding citizens.

MAVS ADVANCE TO THE NBA FINALS!

This is unbelievable. The Mavs second round of the playoffs against the Spurs was some of the best basketball I have ever had the pleasure to watch. The series with the Sun's had me riveted. Now the Mavericks will take on Shaq and the Heat in the NBA Finals. I can't wait!

Here is a great picture of Dirk making Tim Thomas his bitch.

Your tax dollars at work

As we enter yet another horrifying hurricane season (anyone panicked yet??!!), here's a little tale about a victim from Katrina last year, living on your (and mine) tax dollars...

After being flown here for free back in September, Johnson's been at the Holiday Inn since Super Bowl Sunday. On April 21, the hotel served Johnson with three notices of occupancy termination, saying that it would begin court proceedings if he wasn't out by May 9.

And poor Mr. Johnson has also received, in addition to free lodging and food, $9,000.

He's been broke for over a month now. fema sent him $9,000 in housing aid, but he spent it all on booze, cigarettes, some clothes, and food-partying, mostly.
"I spent my money just the way I wanted, and I think [fema] should send me some more," he says.

It gets better. The Holiday Inn, proving that no good deed goes unpunished, will likely end up PAYING Mr. Johnson to leave. The article speculates somewhere in the neighborhood of $1,200.

So, to recap - our federal government flew (at no cost to Mr. Johnson) this scumbag to New York City. Put him up in a series of hotels, etc from the time of the hurricane in August last year till May. Fed him. Gave him 9K in spending money. Offered to fly him back home at no charge. He refused, using tenant law to continue to freeload off the Holiday Inn until they will eventually PAY him to leave.

You know, some people are just oxygen thieves.

Judge: It's Unconstitutional To Make Students Stand For Pledge

Wow, and people wonder why teachers are quitting the industry in droves? I can tell you this - it's why I'm not a teacher, and I actually went to college with every intention to get a job teaching when I got out...

"Cameron Frazier, then a 17-year-old junior, was told by teacher Cynthia Alexandre that he was "so ungrateful and so un-American" after he twice refused to stand for the pledge in her classroom Nov. 8, the lawsuit said."

Sounds to me like the teacher was doing a damn good job. Too bad the days of taking young Cameron outside to have his ass whipped are long gone.

And again, our dear friends in the ACLU continue to take steps to destroy this country.

Show some freaking respect people. We've got men and women fighting and dying right now for your right to stand up and recite the pledge every morning. The least you could do is honor their sacrifice by pledging your allegiance to the country that allows you to be such a dumbass.

And please, repeat after me, with feeling!

I pledge allegiance
to the Flag of the United States of America,
And to the Republic for which it stands:
One Nation Under God, indivisible,
With Liberty and Justice for all.

Muslim terrorists? Not here!

In yet another case of shoddy reporting, we find out about a group of:

"Canadian teenagers and young men in their 20s, accused by police of being members of a suspected homegrown terrorist cell...."

Now, when you read that, just who do you picture in your mind's eye? I picture a group of white, anglo (or french) Canadians.

It's not till you get 4/5ths of the way down the article do you find out that islam is involved.

Heaven forbid we get a headline or lead paragraph that goes something like "Today, a group of islamic men were arrested for ties to terrorism." I'd hate to implicate that muslims have anything to do with terrorism or something like that (because we all know that islam is THE religion of peace) but hey, let's not let the facts help us to make up our own minds or anything like that.

And the news media wonders why their ratings and sales continue to decline. Whatever happened to just reporting the facts?

I am also curious as to how within days of each other, we have seen reports of large terror-related investigations in England - our closest ally in the Long War - and Canada - our neighbor to the north; but as of today, nothing brewing here in the good ole US of A. There have been large scale, and sweeping arrests in both countries - does this mean there's nothing going on stateside, or we just haven't caught 'em yet?

As Bill and Ted so eloquently stated, something's strange afoot at the Circle K.

Shatner Singing to Lucas

My nerd is showing, but this might well be one of the most awkward/funny things I've seen in a while.

Seniors and STD's

I think this is what they call the law of unintended consequences..... Mix in a little viagra with a retirement community and look what happens!!

Gun rags

We've joked here from time to time that there's never been a gun writer that met a gun he didn't like....

Get the inside story on how gun articles come together by clicking on the link.

Memorial Day

From a page on Memorial Day History:

"Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service. There are many stories as to its actual beginnings, with over two dozen cities and towns laying claim to being the birthplace of Memorial Day. There is also evidence that organized women's groups in the South were decorating graves before the end of the Civil War: a hymn published in 1867, "Kneel Where Our Loves are Sleeping" by Nella L. Sweet carried the dedication "To The Ladies of the South who are Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead" (Source: Duke University's Historic American Sheet Music, 1850-1920). While Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it's difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day.... It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all."

Surfing the web over the weekend, I couldn't find anything more fitting a tribute than what I found on Outlaw 13's blog. If you have a chance, give him a read - very thoughtful, well written, and he has some great pics posted online.

Here are his thoughts about today:

Some Names I'll Always Remember

CW2 Paul Timmer; CW3 Rex Kenyon; CW3 Chuck Fortenberry; As I'm sure you know it's Memorial Day weekend. And I'm sure we'll see gallons of ink spilled and entire forests decimated in the quest to tell us how we should all feel about the sacrifice of people like Paul, Rex and Chuck. If we are honest with ourselves those articles accomplish nothing, the people who really need those words will never read them and if they did the meaning of them would escape their grasp. If you are reading this the odds are good that you already appreciate the sacrifice of our soldiers in the cause of freedom... So I am in some respects preaching to the converted.What I intend to address is the issue of how we honor and remember the sacrifice of these and other soldiers. Having known these three guys pretty well I can say that they really wouldn't be going to any parades, wreath laying or any other type ceremony unless you forced them to... so I think the best way to honor these guys would be to do the things they would be doing if they were here today. At your BBQ have another Shiner Bock for Chuck, a burger for Paul and some chicken for Rex. See a ball game, go water skiing, go slow in the fast lane on the interstate. It's all these things (even things that piss you and me off) that these guys died to protect... if you want to honor them have some fun and when you get a second or two have a drink on Paul, Rex and Chuck.

I'll be hoisting a beer at 3pm - our National hour of remembrance. I hope you'll be joining me.

Bonds Passes Babe With Home Run No. 715

This really makes me sick. I blame Major League Baseball as much as I blame bonds. They let this go way too long without doing something about it. Before you know it, he will be passing Hank Aaron. Aaron weighed a whopping 159 pounds and didn't use any performance enhancing drugs. He was an honest man and a pure hitter who should not have his record broken by someone who is not only a cheater, but one of the sorriest pieces of shit in professional sports. It has been proven he cheated, so ban his sorry ass. If you aren't convinced just take a look at the two pictures below. One is a recent photo, the other is his rookie card.

A Puppy Update

Well, we've had a new puppy in the house for about 2 weeks now. Not too many messes just yet, although today she did manage to chew through my keyboard cable....

She's definitely more of an alpha female than she showed us when we picked her from her litter. She has our 2 year old Boston Terrier absolutely terrified, and over the weekend while visiting relatives, she bullied a male lab pup who was a week older than her without mercy.

I'm using Richard Wolter's outstanding guides on training working dogs. At 8 weeks plus 2 days, she's sitting on command 85% of the time, and has been doing very short, 3-5 feet retrieves with probably 99% success. I've introduced her to water, in the form of a shallow creek behind JR's house, and she's finally accepting her confinement in her crate without endless crying and whining. Wolter's work was revolutionary 30 years ago or so, and it continues to be the standard. Long story short, bring the pup into your family as early as possible, and give the pup lots and lots of love and attention. For the next 3+ weeks, she'll be in what Wolters calls "pre school", with lots of learning involved revolving around the basic commands you'll use later. Very little discipline is involved, other than with the pup learning what "NO" means - but right now it's all fun and games. At 12 weeks, "school" starts for real with actual consequences for bad behavior and when the real learning starts.

I think next week we'll work on sit/stay and get her back into some deeper water where she'll have to actually swim, rather than just wallow around in it!

And of course, what would a talk about a puppy be without a picture??

Where was this beer can?

Felony Chicken

One whole chicken.

One can of beer - see above pic.

Garlic, limes, poultry seasoning.

Your favorite BBQ rub.

Take your chicken. Make sure it's defrosted, and the giblets are removed.

Fire up your BBQ grill, drink 1/2 of a beer. Rub the outside of the chicken generously with your BBQ rub. Sprinkle poultry seasoning on the inside of the birds.

Crush and dump one clove of garlic into each can. It's going to fizz, it's okay.

Split your lime into quarters and place two quarters on top of the can of beer.

Grease the outside of your beer can, and insert your chicken onto the beer can, so that the two legs of the chicken form a tripod with the beer can being the third leg.

Carefully place the upright chickens on the grill, close the lid and cook until the juice runs clear at the joints.

Carefully remove the chicken and can from the grill and very carefully un-violate the chicken. Slice and serve.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found this splendid little recipie on the Law Dog's page I made a couple of minor changes - I made up a little basting sauce of olive oil, Cabela's Kansas City Rub, a pinch or two of chipotle ground red pepper and brushed that on at the beginning, and then about every 30 minutes while it was cooking.

Cooked it in my smoker at between 175 and 250 degrees, depending on when I went out to check on the smoker. About 4.5 hours was just perrrrrfect.